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do looks matter in society? Should they? Do they matter to you, do you feel bad for

them mattering*

will repeat the thread again but without the bigotry to my dad.

I had a discussion with Dad last night about how much he feels looks/appearance matter. He said they do matter so it's important to not look scruffy, have a shave and shower etc. so you're taking are of yourself. I then mentioned does physique matter; he said not particularly, as long as you're morbidly obese like the people in WALL-E, 'it's the soul that matters' and went into a bit of a fat acceptance/Health At Every Size monologue, blaming the media for us all wanting to look good and thinking it makes us better people, the rise of eating disorders and body image issues in young women etc.

Most of my family are overweight, actually quite recently my sister was cheated on and I would not be surprised if it was because her older boyfriend was shallow. My dad's partner is noticeably overweight and he said he had to overcome a 'disgusting prejudice' as he dated her. She is lovely and is really interesting but I'm not sure I'd be physically attracted to her even though she is active. Also some of my family do skinny-shaming and it really annoyed me/hurt for a while.

We have been raised as Christian with a lot of high ideals. Ideals I have tried to put into practice but often failed. Ideals rarely returned in my favour, but it's a sin to feel entitled to being treated well (that is, you don't give to get back).

The thing is I unfortunately have to disagree, I'm not sure whether it's even just worth 'blaming the media', since this seems to be quite natural to want someone you're physically attracted to. Society also seems to treat them better, in employment and such (the halo effect). That being said I recognise I am a little shallow, and feel guilty about it.

Do looks matter, in general? Should they? Is this all 'the media's fault' or is my dad scape-goating/in denial? Please no LMS trolls.
(edited 9 years ago)
Should they? No.

Do they? In reality, yes. For instance, hypothetically, with the upcoming general election, if you are fairly impartial and agree with a couple of parties policies (not all but enough to give them your backing) which candidate do you choose? The one who is dressed smartly, keeps themselves well groomed and a smart suit OR do you pick the candidate who has long, fairly unkept greasy hair and a basic suit?

Assuming that the differences in policies are minute so that you would be happy with either candidate based on that, which do you pick?

I'm guessing most will pick the one who looks smart. I certainly did in the last election. I was struggling to pick between two parties and one of the things that made up my mind was that one candidate looked so scruffy outside the polling station (plus his jibes at another party's representative's speech to a voter whilst ignoring me).
Should they? Don't see why not.

Do they? Yeah.
Then what is my dad on about 'it's the soul that matters'
Face = life
Of course they do, attractive people are seen as more trustworthy, reliable etc etc. Founded by numerous psychological studies. Looks shouldn't really matter when judging a person (except in the case of a relationship, as sexual attraction relies a lot on looks) but unfortunately we just naturally assume attractive people are better than ugly people in almost every way.

Probably a reason based in evolution (good looks=good genes=intelligence, health).

Pretty unfair, as nobody chooses their face and there isn't much they can do to change it if they're fugly (except in a superficial cosmetic manner)
Original post by xMr_BrightSide
Of course they do, attractive people are seen as more trustworthy, reliable etc etc. Founded by numerous psychological studies. Looks shouldn't really matter when judging a person (except in the case of a relationship, as sexual attraction relies a lot on looks) but unfortunately we just naturally assume attractive people are better than ugly people in almost every way.

Probably a reason based in evolution (good looks=good genes=intelligence, health).

Pretty unfair, as nobody chooses their face and there isn't much they can do to change it if they're fugly (except in a superficial cosmetic manner)

shouldn't we therefore classify attractive people as being privileged just like we have white privilege etc, brb checking privilege for having good facial aesthetics, also manmores are more privileged than manlets (more respected, earn more money, more ceo's are above average height etc)
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Greg Jackson
Face = life


ol mate where did you get this one from :u: at best face=everything until mid-20s then LMS kicks in, even this is assuming the whole world goes by TRP. Don't make me have to block you as a bad influence on my mental health
Original post by xMr_BrightSide
Of course they do, attractive people are seen as more trustworthy, reliable etc etc. Founded by numerous psychological studies. Looks shouldn't really matter when judging a person (except in the case of a relationship, as sexual attraction relies a lot on looks) but unfortunately we just naturally assume attractive people are better than ugly people in almost every way.

Probably a reason based in evolution (good looks=good genes=intelligence, health).

Pretty unfair, as nobody chooses their face and there isn't much they can do to change it if they're fugly (except in a superficial cosmetic manner)


it is based in evolution: pheromones and compatibility of certain genes :smile:

why is my dad saying then 'looks shouldn't matter even in a relationship it's the soul the counts'
Looks shouldn't matter but unfortunately society is riddled with competition surrounding how beautiful, how handsome, how good your body is e.t.c.
In terms of a relationship, you should definitely be attracted to someone's appearance as well as their personality as long as the former doesn't completely change the way you think about said person.
It's completely unfair how people are judged on how attractive they are but tbf most people would rather go out or get to know someone who may be considered 'less attractive' who has a great personality than someone who is considered incredibly attractive but is an absolute ****.
Original post by valkyrie-grey
Looks shouldn't matter but unfortunately society is riddled with competition surrounding how beautiful, how handsome, how good your body is e.t.c.
In terms of a relationship, you should definitely be attracted to someone's appearance as well as their personality as long as the former doesn't completely change the way you think about said person.
It's completely unfair how people are judged on how attractive they are but tbf most people would rather go out or get to know someone who may be considered 'less attractive' who has a great personality than someone who is considered incredibly attractive but is an absolute ****.


is this not proof whatever society is saying about looks being the be-all and end-all is not really true? curious
first of all: didn't read.

looks matter. it's human nature, and no matter how much you try and suppress it, humans will always judge people by how they look.

deal with it.
Do looks matter? YES

Should they? In a lot of cases yes, depending what features we're talking about. Things that a person has no control over such as eye color, hair color, skin color, height, shape of facial features etc shouldn't be used to judge anybody. Factors such as weight, hairstyle, facial hair style, personal hygiene, oral hygiene and dress sense should absolutely be used to judge as they reflect good or bad individual choices.

Do they matter to me? Yes, for the reasons above. If you're poorly groomed and dressed like a slob I'm going to judge you.

Do I feel bad about that? Not at all, why would I?
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
is this not proof whatever society is saying about looks being the be-all and end-all is not really true? curious


I'm only basing it on the people I know. There's a lot of factors that make someone attractive not necessarily their physical disposition. In my opinion, a lot of it is preference at the end of the day. What is considered attractive to one person may not be the same for another
Original post by gonnagetrejected
first of all: didn't read.

looks matter. it's human nature, and no matter how much you try and suppress it, humans will always judge people by how they look.

deal with it.


2edgy4me
I agree with your dad that it's important not to look scruffy. There are certain aspects of our appearance that we can control. If someone looks like they haven't washed in a good few weeks then yes it would put me off them.
Original post by Greg Jackson
shouldn't we therefore classify attractive people as being privileged just like we have white privilege etc, brb checking privilege for having good facial aesthetics, also manmores are more privileged than manlets (more respected, earn more money, more ceo's are above average height etc)


All of that privilege stuff is nonsense anyway, but some people are just luckier than others in life. Intelligence, attractive features, height, environment when growing up - all factors outside of our control.

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