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How can I become more comfortable around men? Watch

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    How can I become friends with guys? I'm 23 and have never had a relationship or been asked out. I'm quite attractive and have been approached to model...but guys have never complimented me except old guys..I only get complimented by girls..I really want to get to know guys better and become more comfortable with them.

    I'm not only uncomfortable with attractive/smart guys but also guys who aren't as smart as me and not attractive..basically any guy!! I always feel sooo self conscious and awkward when I talk to men. If a female friend is sitting near a guy and she looks to me to ask or say something, I always get so awkward and uncomfortable because i know the guy is also listening to the conversation and I fear he will compare my personality to hers or his girlfriends or something..and another problem is when I know a guy has a girlfriend, I always fear he's going to compare my personality and humor with hers.

    I feel like they're judging everything I say and my face and my body and my hair and my clothes..I see other girls who aren't as attractive, or funny, or smart look so comfortable with these same men. I wonder why I can't have their confidence!? I really need help..I hate feeling like this. If I hear someone near me saying something, I always know something funny to say but I'm so shy so I never do. People who are around me at uni probably think I'm so weird because I don't talk to anyone. I know they think I'm just unfriendly but I am not. I'm just shy and socially awkward...

    Do guys judge girls who try to befriend them? I don't want them to think they like me..but I just don't know how to appear calm, confident, and friendly, without getting nervous and making them think I like them..I just don't understand why guys don't like me.

    Why do guys just hate me soo much!? :confused::cry2::cry2::cry2:
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    guys don't hate you...they just have that stupid ego...u should try to be confident around them and show them who the boss is
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    quick tip;think of guys as girls with short hair...that might work
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    Alcohol is the solution.
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    (Original post by Nigerian newbie)
    guys don't hate you...they just have that stupid ego...u should try to be confident around them and show them who the boss is
    What kind of ego? But I thought guys don't like girls who act smart etc. I've noticed they seem to like the silly, immature type girls
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    (Original post by Nigerian newbie)
    quick tip;think of guys as girls with short hair...that might work
    Thanks, I've thought about this but when I see a guy I forget to think of them as girls lol with girls I just say whatever I want but when I'm with a guy I analyse everything!!!
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    You do know, being attractive gets the least guys talking to you by the way as most are scared to talk to attractive girls/ think you have a boyfriend.

    You shouldn't be nervous, men lead in conversations anyways. If you are getting shy he will/should try harder, just put yourself in positions where they can talk to you.
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    Guys are human beings. Girls are human beings. Just because they have different parts between their legs is no reason to find one so much more uncomfortable to talk to then the other.
    You seem smart, you are plainly pretty, there isn't anything wrong with you at all bar a little lack of confidence. Maybe just turn on some bad-ass music in your head, wear something you feel really comfortable in and that you feel great in and then go and talk to one (just one!) guy the next time there's an occasion to. Just talk for five minutes and leave, don't drag the conversation on unless you think it's going really well. Don't judge yourself so much or think he is judging you. Most people don't give a crap about people they only talk to for five minutes so just concentrate on telling yourself how easy this conversation is. I built up a lot of self-confidence this way (mainly the bad-ass music playing to be fair) though i still really struggle picking up the phone or calling people. It takes time to make yourself comfortable in different situations.
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    (Original post by iAmanze)
    You do know, being attractive gets the least guys talking to you by the way as most are scared to talk to attractive girls/ think you have a boyfriend.

    You shouldn't be nervous, men lead in conversations anyways. If you are getting shy he will/should try harder, just put yourself in positions where they can talk to you.
    But what if they don't continue the conversation..I'm so worried they'll think I'm weird or just not funny..but I am funny..I just can't think of anything interesting to say when I'm around men.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Alcohol is the solution.
    Since you're a male, can you tell me if when a girl talks to you do you compare her personality, looks, and sense of humor with your girlfriend or crush????
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    How can I become friends with guys? I'm 23 and have never had a relationship or been asked out. I'm quite attractive and have been approached to model...but guys have never complimented me except old guys..I only get complimented by girls..I really want to get to know guys better and become more comfortable with them.

    I'm not only uncomfortable with attractive/smart guys but also guys who aren't as smart as me and not attractive..basically any guy!! I always feel sooo self conscious and awkward when I talk to men. If a female friend is sitting near a guy and she looks to me to ask or say something, I always get so awkward and uncomfortable because i know the guy is also listening to the conversation and I fear he will compare my personality to hers or his girlfriends or something..and another problem is when I know a guy has a girlfriend, I always fear he's going to compare my personality and humor with hers.

    I feel like they're judging everything I say and my face and my body and my hair and my clothes..I see other girls who aren't as attractive, or funny, or smart look so comfortable with these same men. I wonder why I can't have their confidence!? I really need help..I hate feeling like this. If I hear someone near me saying something, I always know something funny to say but I'm so shy so I never do. People who are around me at uni probably think I'm so weird because I don't talk to anyone. I know they think I'm just unfriendly but I am not. I'm just shy and socially awkward...

    Do guys judge girls who try to befriend them? I don't want them to think they like me..but I just don't know how to appear calm, confident, and friendly, without getting nervous and making them think I like them..I just don't understand why guys don't like me.

    Why do guys just hate me soo much!? :confused::cry2::cry2::cry2:
    Guys dont hate you, dont be silly. Youll find someone, you sound nice and Im a guy, I dont hate you. Maybe its just the guys you bump into
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    (Original post by Lwin)
    Guys are human beings. Girls are human beings. Just because they have different parts between their legs is no reason to find one so much more uncomfortable to talk to then the other.
    You seem smart, you are plainly pretty, there isn't anything wrong with you at all bar a little lack of confidence. Maybe just turn on some bad-ass music in your head, wear something you feel really comfortable in and that you feel great in and then go and talk to one (just one!) guy the next time there's an occasion to. Just talk for five minutes and leave, don't drag the conversation on unless you think it's going really well. Don't judge yourself so much or think he is judging you. Most people don't give a crap about people they only talk to for five minutes so just concentrate on telling yourself how easy this conversation is. I built up a lot of self-confidence this way (mainly the bad-ass music playing to be fair) though i still really struggle picking up the phone or calling people. It takes time to make yourself comfortable in different situations.
    Yeah calling on the phone is hardd haha thanks i'll try this. Should I go to random guys or guys around me? The problem is they're always with other guys..
    I'm just worried they'll compare me to other girls they know (personality, humor).
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    Yeah calling on the phone is hardd haha thanks i'll try this. Should I go to random guys or guys around me? The problem is they're always with other guys..
    I'm just worried they'll compare me to other girls they know (personality, humor).
    Hum... yeah getting someone alone is difficult... when i was busy doing this i was still at school, so i would try to stop and chat in the corridor to guys i knew at least a bit from being in the same class. I think it's better to try talking to guys you already know at first, just because you might be a little more comfortable than with a random stranger. But on the other hand with strangers it's likely you'll never meet them again so if you embarrass yourself it doesn't matter at all. I guess it's up to you and what you feel most comfortable trying first.
    In terms of getting people alone I guess just be on the lookout so you notice people, say at a party, standing by themselves. Do you have a brother, male cousins? Talking to male family members might help you get over your shyness because you know that they're not judging you. (but believe me, NO ONE is judging you, and someone who doesn't think your cool isn't someone you want to impress anyway!)
    (I realise i am now the beyonce of this comment thread, i can cope with that)
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    (Original post by marco14196)
    Guys dont hate you, dont be silly. Youll find someone, you sound nice and Im a guy, I dont hate you. Maybe its just the guys you bump into
    But you guys seem soo hard to please I really am sad about this lol. I mean its so easy with girls..you just talk to them, if you're interesting, they want your number to hang out later but guys seem like they can never be pleased. No matter how funny I am to the few I talk to, they never text me or include me..

    How funny and cool does a girl have to be to just be platonic friends with a man?
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    Since you're a male, can you tell me if when a girl talks to you do you compare her personality, looks, and sense of humor with your girlfriend or crush????
    Like all men, I first look at her, then I listen/speak to her. I'm not sure to see what you mean by "compare", I'm not building a ranking on an Excel spreadsheet in my head. I go with the hottest girl with whom I've a connection/shot.
    It's very rare to see girls with a strong sense of humour, most just laugh at the guy's jokes - and that's all that matters. You just have to tease him to make him notice you in a pack of girls.
    As I said, a bit of alcohol makes it easier. It's crazy how being drunk with someone creates bonds.
    Since you're shy, your best chances of meeting/talking with guys are in flat/house parties, not clubs.
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    What kind of ego? But I thought guys don't like girls who act smart etc. I've noticed they seem to like the silly, immature type girls
    Balls! Especially at your age.
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    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Balls! Especially at your age.
    What do you mean??
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    But you guys seem soo hard to please I really am sad about this lol. I mean its so easy with girls..you just talk to them, if you're interesting, they want your number to hang out later but guys seem like they can never be pleased. No matter how funny I am to the few I talk to, they never text me or include me..

    How funny and cool does a girl have to be to just be platonic friends with a man?
    Well relationships arent just about humour. Tell me about you as a person, Im curious about your character. There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with you
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    (Original post by Lwin)
    Hum... yeah getting someone alone is difficult... when i was busy doing this i was still at school, so i would try to stop and chat in the corridor to guys i knew at least a bit from being in the same class. I think it's better to try talking to guys you already know at first, just because you might be a little more comfortable than with a random stranger. But on the other hand with strangers it's likely you'll never meet them again so if you embarrass yourself it doesn't matter at all. I guess it's up to you and what you feel most comfortable trying first.
    In terms of getting people alone I guess just be on the lookout so you notice people, say at a party, standing by themselves. Do you have a brother, male cousins? Talking to male family members might help you get over your shyness because you know that they're not judging you. (but believe me, NO ONE is judging you, and someone who doesn't think your cool isn't someone you want to impress anyway!)
    (I realise i am now the beyonce of this comment thread, i can cope with that)
    Thanks I'll try
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    What do you mean??
    I don't think grown men prefer silly, immature women. Intelligence is extremely sexy.
 
 
 
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