How can people show affection and then suddenly turn cold...

I have never understood how some people can be so affectionate which seems so genuine and then suddenly go cold. One day me and my boyfriend had a great day out, lots of laughs, cuddled at night. During this he said that he always worried about me ie walking home from work, late at night, driving, in case something happened etc. Then the next day he broke up with me.

If I don't have feelings for someone I find it Impossible to show close affection so I don't understand how people suddenly turn cold. I'm not even saying there is anything wrong with it I'm simply trying to understand the psychology behind it. Or maybe people can still so how have feelings but want to break up, what do you think?

If you have ever been one of these people who suddenly turns cold maybe you could help me understand..

Reply 1

Mr Inquisitive

Original post by Anonymous

Have you tried asking him about it?

Typically it's a manifestation of problems in one's personal life. When coping mechanisms < ability to cope, we shut down and start to remove things - sometimes indiscriminately - from our lives in an attempt to rebalance.

I've been able to do this on occasion, but never without justification. I'd only turn cold on someone if they gave me reason to.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

"During this he said that he always worried about me ie walking home from work, late at night, driving, in case something happened etc. Then the next day he broke up with me."

Sorry this made me LOL! That's deep :biggrin:

Reply 3

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

Good point, I have wondered about this too. I think it is in essence since people are very complex and they will go along with things to meet a need for companionship and/or sex with someone when in reality they are not compatible.

Reply 4

Add!ction

I'm feeling that a bit now.

Reply 5

xylas

Original post by Mr Inquisitive

Typically it's a manifestation of problems in one's personal life. When coping mechanisms < ability to cope, we shut down and start to remove things - sometimes indiscriminately - from our lives in an attempt to rebalance.

Sources?

Reply 6

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

There's something he doesn't like about you so he doesn't want to put up with it to get to the parts he does like...

Reply 7

Illegal Algebra

I always do it. It's pretty easy, some people are gullible and will believe anything you tell them. You can never trust anyone in this world apart from your family and God.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Yeah, I know how you're feeling. It's difficult not to think that the problem lies with me...
GF broke up with me on Tuesday, when we spoke about it the next day, she had some BS excuse that I'd hurt her when she confessed she liked me couple of months back and since then she'd thought I was distant while she bitched to a friend about me without telling me what she wanted.
Then she decided to get very close to someone I thought was a friend a day later.
Maybe I should give them a caduceus for the symbolism...

Reply 9

Emily.97

Original post by Illegal Algebra

I always do it. It's pretty easy, some people are gullible and will believe anything you tell them. You can never trust anyone in this world apart from your family and God.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Cant trust anyone, eh? Wish you told me that a few months ago.