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    Its the 2nd term and although i've made ALOT of aquaintances, i wouldn't call any of them friends (with the exception of one girl). I never used to have any 'close' friends before i started uni and thought that uni would be a great place to find friends i share a deep connection with but so far haven't and i feel like i rely too much on this one friend (shes made other close friends). At what point did you start making close friends at uni? What should i do? do i have hope?
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    Sorry to hear that this friend that you have, you said that she has other close friends, have you not tried talking to them? If your close friends with the girl who's part of that friendship group then I'm sure she wouldn't mind introducing you?
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    Making friends is not easy, and you are lucky to have one! I have none and I'm hoping to meet some at uni too
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    I have many many friends. No real one. I feel so lonely.


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    (Original post by BOB2014)
    Its the 2nd term and although i've made ALOT of aquaintances, i wouldn't call any of them friends (with the exception of one girl). I never used to have any 'close' friends before i started uni and thought that uni would be a great place to find friends i share a deep connection with but so far haven't and i feel like i rely too much on this one friend (shes made other close friends). At what point did you start making close friends at uni? What should i do? do i have hope?
    I didn't meet my group of 'true' university friends until 2nd term of 2nd year :yep: . I thought I'd made a group of close friends in first year, but it soon became obvious that none of these people considered me THEIR close friends. A bit disheartened, I ditched them and started to do what I enjoyed instead of what, it turned out, I THOUGHT I enjoyed. So I went to the library (cos I'm a massive nerd). Through some sheer coincidence, one Saturday I bumped into a group of 4 other people I recognised on my course. I asked if I could join them, and the rest, as they say, is history! They accepted me straight away, and they stayed my closest 4 friends up until 3 of them graduated last summer . Whilst they were only properly in my life for a little over a year, it's the happiest I've ever been :yep:

    Take up a hobby or join a society you enjoy - if you're in an environment you are comfortable in, you will meet loads of new people who will like you for you and may become your close friends
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    What's your living situation? Are you in halls? I think for me, it was easiest meeting people in Halls and people on my course, later it was people in extra stuff I'd taken on.

    Also I'd say it's only your second term. You've said you've made lots of acquaintances, I totally get that, everyone at uni kind sorta knows someone you probably kinda sorta know. Maybe see which of these acquaintances you're the most interested in or who you seem to have things in common. Ask people on your courses facebook or society page if anyone would like to study together. If they don't have one email your director for undergrad studies on your course (or whatever equivalent you have) and ask if they could circulate your email on your year to see if others on your course would like to form study groups.

    Loneliness is very easy at Uni, if you feel you need to talk to someone contact your union or your student medical service, or failing that your tutor. If you feel your situation isn't improving there are things the university can do to help in term of your work-load.

    Just remember you're not alone, the university really does care about you, as a person, you're not just a number.
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    Give it time, it was in second year where I came across people properly who I consider as friends and I still talk with them to this day. When they all left it was a sad day :moon:
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    (Original post by BOB2014)
    Its the 2nd term and although i've made ALOT of aquaintances, i wouldn't call any of them friends (with the exception of one girl). I never used to have any 'close' friends before i started uni and thought that uni would be a great place to find friends i share a deep connection with but so far haven't and i feel like i rely too much on this one friend (shes made other close friends). At what point did you start making close friends at uni? What should i do? do i have hope?
    It takes a long time to form close friendships, at this stage in my first year I hadn't even met most of the people who i'd go on to become good friends with! It's a very common situation to be in, some people are just better at hiding it than others. It may seem that everyone is best friends with each other but they really aren't. First year you are meeting an endless stream of people, but in the future years you work out who is worth the effort and who isn't.

    Is it possible for you to look for a job? I made loads of friends from work

    (Original post by Nirgilis)
    I didn't meet my group of 'true' university friends until 2nd term of 2nd year :yep: . I thought I'd made a group of close friends in first year, but it soon became obvious that none of these people considered me THEIR close friends
    Same thing happened to me. In first year, people just latch on to whoever they meet because they don't want to be lonely. When we moved out of halls we loosely kept our group of friends together for nights out and stuff, but in reality everyone went their seperate ways and had their own seperate friends. Half of them graduated last summer and left, and I haven't spoken to any of them since!
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    Its more than some people have at Uni! Personally my best friend at Uni I only really met towards the end of the first year, he was my lab partner. (although he dropped out due to medical reasons in 2nd year.)

    Although it may be easy to think 'everyone has loads of good friends,' I bet in reality many people feel like you and are 'faking it' in a way. It is possible as well that some people go for quantity rather than quality and end up with lots of acquaintances as you say but few close friends.

    Also in life (particularly in your teens) some people tend to be leaders in group situations, some people tend to be followers. I sense (as I was if part of any group) you are more of a follower. If I could go back I would try to 'lead' more. Try it!
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    You have plenty of time I've found no friends, well I had one but they had to leave uni. Just be active you'll find someone. I do voluntering, sports and in socotites therefore I can hopefully find friends also maybe try a local church group?
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    Hey whats the most effective way of finding a job? I've been around to so many stores and handed in my cv and applied online but they either never reply or reject my application :/
    (Original post by sr90)
    It takes a long time to form close friendships, at this stage in my first year I hadn't even met most of the people who i'd go on to become good friends with! It's a very common situation to be in, some people are just better at hiding it than others. It may seem that everyone is best friends with each other but they really aren't. First year you are meeting an endless stream of people, but in the future years you work out who is worth the effort and who isn't.

    Is it possible for you to look for a job? I made loads of friends from work



    Same thing happened to me. In first year, people just latch on to whoever they meet because they don't want to be lonely. When we moved out of halls we loosely kept our group of friends together for nights out and stuff, but in reality everyone went their seperate ways and had their own seperate friends. Half of them graduated last summer and left, and I haven't spoken to any of them since!
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    (Original post by BOB2014)
    Hey whats the most effective way of finding a job? I've been around to so many stores and handed in my cv and applied online but they either never reply or reject my application :/
    Go to the uni careers office and get them to check over your CV, it could just be something very basic that needs changing. My early attempts of writing a CV weren't very good! Most unis will have a job shop or something to help you out as well.
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    Thanx for your advice btw i know i will find good friends soon , God willing
    (Original post by sr90)
    Go to the uni careers office and get them to check over your CV, it could just be something very basic that needs changing. My early attempts of writing a CV weren't very good! Most unis will have a job shop or something to help you out as well.
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    I'm in a similar position starting second term of first year and I have people I am friendly with but not people I can define as real friends and I really don't have anyone looking out for me like I do with my friends and family back home.

    I'm also hoping it's not too late! I know I am going to have to make a huge effort and be an extrovert this term! I'm just scared that everyone has already settled into friendship groups and I have missed the boat. I'm trying to find other people in a similar situation to me but it's proving difficult hehe maybe they are all hiding away shy.

    My advice and what I'm going to do myself is look out for taster sessions for societies and also check out some volunteering. There are new things going on at campus nearly every day and if you invest time in going to these then I'm sure that you will find some friends. Music and film are universally great things that people click over too see if they have any societies for that too.

    Best wishes!
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    Good luck, if you do that it won't take long to find someone

    (Original post by lotusbloom)
    I'm in a similar position starting second term of first year and I have people I am friendly with but not people I can define as real friends and I really don't have anyone looking out for me like I do with my friends and family back home.

    I'm also hoping it's not too late! I know I am going to have to make a huge effort and be an extrovert this term! I'm just scared that everyone has already settled into friendship groups and I have missed the boat. I'm trying to find other people in a similar situation to me but it's proving difficult hehe maybe they are all hiding away shy.

    My advice and what I'm going to do myself is look out for taster sessions for societies and also check out some volunteering. There are new things going on at campus nearly every day and if you invest time in going to these then I'm sure that you will find some friends. Music and film are universally great things that people click over too see if they have any societies for that too.

    Best wishes!
 
 
 
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