Is having a child a bad thing?

Some people say having a child in such a terrible world is an act of cruelty.
Others say that the greatest thing they've ever done was raise their "fine" children into adults.

what do you think?

Reply 1

username1060297

Are you those some people? Couldn't someone say to those people, isn't it crueler to not try and change cruel things by not educating people to be against cruel things, and what better way than to have your own children who you can raise to be part of the not cruel gang, whatever the heck that is. Or adopting other children to take their place but then isn't that potentially a cruel thing to do - I mean in the end who's allowed to make these decisions for others? No one. It comes back to oneself, everyone should decide things for themselves, not using another.

To answer your question, to have a child is not a bad thing, to have a child for reasons other than wanting to raise a decent human is a bad thing, I guess.. unless there's other reasons that take precedence over that.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

lotusbloom

Whilst I agree that mankind always seems to birth it's own destruction I don't think birthing a child in itself is an act of cruelty I think removing the choice of people whether (or not) to bring children into the world would be a greater cruelty. In my opinion the world has always been as 'terrible' as now so is as good a time as any other.

Reply 3

Mick.w

Original post by lotusbloom

Original post by Ki Yung Na

Are you those some people? Couldn't someone say to those people, isn't it crueler to not try and change cruel things by not educating people to be against cruel things, and what better way than to have your own children who you can raise to be part of the not cruel gang, whatever the heck that is. Or adopting other children to take their place but then isn't that potentially a cruel thing to do - I mean in the end who's allowed to make these decisions for others? No one, it comes back to oneself, everyone should decide things for themselves, not using another.

To answer your question, to have a child is not a bad thing, to have a child for reasons other than wanting to raise a decent human is a bad thing, I guess.. unless there's other reasons that take precedence over that.

Well I don't have a child and I don't think having a child is an act of cruelty.

But I would love to have children.

I do have this naive fantasy of raising kids on a little farm in the south of france or what not.

However I've recently been looking at various philosophies and noticed that many of them do not promote romantic relationships and many do not promote family. They all seem to think the key to happiness is being single and with friends. Which there is nothing wrong with. But I desire a family. And am slightly worried about the desire being contrary to happiness. Sort of like a greek tragedy only far more mundane.

I have thought about cutting out the middleman (or women in this case) and just fostering or adopting kids.

So you have philosophers saying marriage, romance and having a baby are not ingredients for a happy life.
Plus you have over crowding/over population.
Plus you have lots of children in need of good homes.

It does almost make sense to me to foster/adopt rather than have a family.

also I wasn't talking about removing the choice to have children. I was just curious about people who have the view that having children in this day and age is an act of cruelty.

Reply 4

shawn_o1

One should only have a child if they are ready for one (financially AND emotionally)

Reply 5

username1060297

Original post by Mick.w

I think adoption would have been more common if it wasn't for the apparent nightmarish process, I see the reasoning behind why you'd chose to do what you would chose to do. At present, according to a UNICEF stat there's around 153million orphans in the world which is like the population of Russia or Bangladesh, and they rank in the top 10 I think?

What I'm trying to say is, if these children were adopted then that is a huge population which is helped into society whose prospects most likely dramatically rise if we consider the majority of these children to be from African and Asian countries in which factors like HIV/AIDS, crime, poor welfare and poor education play a big part in their orphaning.

I think the act of "having" these children is not cruel but there can be (twisted or genuinely concerned?) persons who say by your having these children you are effectively deciding their lives in places of themselves or their real parents - what gives you this right? And who's to say you will raise them acceptably and safely? Philosophically speaking*

It comes down to something in particular - what is that you, the person doing it wants, why do you want that and is this really the way(adoption/conception)? So as I said in my initial post..

To answer your question, to have a child is not a bad thing, to have a child for reasons other than wanting to raise a decent human is a bad thing, I guess.. unless there's other reasons that take precedence over that.

Regardless of if it is an adoption or your own child.

My opinion regarding adoption, if you're interested.

Spoiler

*Regarding those philosphies and the idea you can't be happy with children/family or are less so than those without - again it's each to his own but I believe those guys are in the minority, after all, we humans are a "social" species.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

lotusbloom

Original post by Mick.w

OP become your own philosopher and just do what makes you happy. If you aspire towards kids and romance as well in a nice bit in France then go for it you only get one life :smile:

Don't feel guilty about bringing children into the world they are blessings! I was reminded of that today walking to uni and a kid stuck her head out the window and yelled 'hello' and smiled and waved it made my day. If children retained their benevolence and openness into adulthood we be in utopia. I don't believe in god/jesus/the bible but think there is some wisdom in the bible saying 'the kingdom of heaven belongs to those who are like these children'. I think children can teach us almost as much as we can teach them but anyways sorry I'm heading a little off topic now!

Of course there's the whole question... Is a child born to suffer? It's a very difficult question to answer especially when we apply it to all sorts of people living in all kinds of conditions all over the world. But when it comes to when you have/adopt your own if you provide the best circumstances and environment in your means and lots of emotional support and nurturing then I think you've done a pretty good job :biggrin:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

sophiegrou

Don't forget that one day all the members of your family will die, and if you don't build your own 'empire', you might end up alone in the future. But ofc it alsodepends on your perspective of life.