talking a bit naughtily? posh/common divide.

my girlfriend was just telling me how she likes how sometimes her (state-schooled) work colleagues say really inappropriate sexual/flirty things to her. now, i know i'm making huge generalisations here, but as a rule i think privately educated guys like myself still want and have the ability to say these things, but are more restrained.

so, i've thrown a private/state school thing into the mix really for no reason. what i want to know is, do girls like being talked to like this in everyday conversation? because i could do, but i was brought up to treat girls with respect, and thought this was what they wanted...

Reply 1

blissy

15

How on earth does that even come up in conversation? Or do they do a survey when someone new comes to the business "state or private school?"

Reply 2

jess_n

Us state-school people are good...

Errr in personal opinion, i no loads of peeps who do it and loads who dont do it.... i have mates that when to private skool and some who went to state skool like me n it makes no diff...

I think its funny if its just put in randomly here n there .. but if its too much its just makes me cringe

Reply 3

foxiroxi

10

"anyone" shoudl treat me with respect....

however I like my boyfriend to treat me with respect in public but talk dirty in the bedroom (or anywhere private)

Reply 4

Zoecb

11

Depends whether you're flirting and being complimentary (even in a dirty way) or just making sexist comments. The former is quite nice, imo.

Reply 5

L i b

19

The peasants would happily do it in the street like animals if it wasn't for fear of being arrested...

They have no morals.

Reply 6

sol89

10

I'm a mongrel, half state school educated and half private school educated. But I relate to the OP and have certainly retained my 'private school values'. :biggrin:

Reply 7

MissHero

1

sol89

'private school values'. :biggrin:

Explain?

Reply 8

kam

10

MissHero

Explain?

Probably got taught that in public school, there aren't any values.

Reply 9

sugarlump

she probably liked it because she's not used to it. i think that somethings like that are ok to say but there is a limit... if you dont normally talk like that then it would seem stupid if u did i guess. could she be trying to make u jealous maybe??

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Not all private school people are posh (for example, people in the armed forces get boarding school allowances- I don't see how that suddenly turns their children into a second cousin of the Queen, which is what posh really is, aristocratic.) Also, not all state school pupils are 'common' either. Commoners as in not aristocratic, but not common. To me, 'common' has different connotations to that, and actually means white trash chavishness, not someone who goes to a state school.

Incidently, I know of an ex-private school pupil who constantly boasts about his 'upbringing', yet it turns out that his parents both went to state school and got lucky with a business. Now, I'm not knocking the noveau riche but he's not exactly of millionaire status and OP, boasting about your background making you more restrained isn't a sign of good manners either.

Reply 11

Psyk

16

Anonymous

so, i've thrown a private/state school thing into the mix really for no reason. what i want to know is, do girls like being talked to like this in everyday conversation? because i could do, but i was brought up to treat girls with respect, and thought this was what they wanted...

I think the key point here is that women are not identical to each other. Some girls will hate dirty comments, some will pretend to hate them but like them really, and some girls are capable of making more dirty comments than I ever could.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with what sort of school you went to either.

Reply 12

*knowitall*

Having a laugh with girls - even being cheeky and making sexual allusions is not necessarily disrespectful!

Put it this way...if you're vaguely attractive in her eyes it'll be seen as flirting BUT if you are def not her type it will be unwelcome rude attention!

Welcome to the real world of confused sexual politics.....

And as for this thought...
"i was brought up to treat girls with respect, and thought this was what they wanted..."

How could you possibily know what any girl wants and make presumptions that just beacause she's a girl a particular type of behaviour is what she wants?

Get to know her and then decide - don't treat all girls the same...that's a sure way to relationship disaster...

Reply 13

generalebriety

16

Silly thread.

Reply 14

Tinkerbelle

5

imo its nice if you're out and a guy compliments you but if you're out and he's on his own in a lechy loner way or with a big group of drunken mates who say dirty comments i don't like that. its all about how something is said and in what context!

Reply 15

generalebriety

16

And how rich they are.

Reply 16

*knowitall*

Cheeky!

Reply 17

Hel

If I were you, I'd be worried.

Reply 18

shinyhappy

14

A month ago I would have thought that the OP was talking rubbish. But in all fairness, the private school boys I've met at uni are a damn sight politer and more respectful to women (and men, for that matter) than many of the lads at my (state) school.
Most of this can be put down to being older/more mature/more intelligent, but the private-school boys do seem to have had good manners drilled into them in a way that state school pupils haven't.
This does all change when they're drunk, though :P Then they get just as vulgar and dirty as the rest of us :smile:

Oh and in response to the OP, it depends entirely on the situation, and the woman in question. Some will like 'cheeky' talk, some won't. Depending on how long they've known the guy/how well they get on, I would have thought most women wouldn't mind cheeky flirtation, but not 'dirty' talk, as such.

Reply 19

generalebriety

16

shinyhappy

A month ago I would have thought that the OP was talking rubbish. But in all fairness, the private school boys I've met at uni are a damn sight politer and more respectful to women (and men, for that matter) than many of the lads at my (state) school.
Most of this can be put down to being older/more mature/more intelligent, but the private-school boys do seem to have had good manners drilled into them in a way that state school pupils haven't.
This does all change when they're drunk, though :P Then they get just as vulgar and dirty as the rest of us :smile:

Oh and in response to the OP, it depends entirely on the situation, and the woman in question. Some will like 'cheeky' talk, some won't. Depending on how long they've known the guy/how well they get on, I would have thought most women wouldn't mind cheeky flirtation, but not 'dirty' talk, as such.

I go to a private school.

I'll put it politely for you, since that's your impression of us: that's *******s. :smile:

talking a bit naughtily? posh/common divide.

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