Cheating - those who do it and those who are 'victims' of it

I wont go into details but basically my boyfriend cheated on me at the weekend and it ****ing sucks. I feel like ****. I never realised it made people feel this bad and I've made a vow not to ever cheat on anybody cos its just so hurtful and upsetting.

What I'm wondering is firstly, to those who might have cheated on their partners, why? How did you feel afterwards? And to those who've been cheated on, what are your experiences? Have you forgiven your partner? Do you think you can ever get the trust back? I seriously dont know what to do, I like him so much and want to be with him but I keep remembering what he did and it makes me feel so eurgh. I really thought I could trust him....I think I still can (weird as it sounds) but I dont want to be hurt again. I dont know if I should risk it. Argh. Thoughts? Advice? This makes very little sense I apologise I just need to talk

Reply 1

Reue

20

3 strikes rule. Give them a second chance if you want, but never a third. 3 strikes and your out.

Reply 2

Me Me Me

its ok, talking is good!! i have never cheated, but i have been cheated on numerous occasions, and i have felt exactly the way you do now. Trust me, it's not your fault. If he has commitment problems then you are not to blame. I never forgave my partner. But it is ok if you can get the trust back. It was so hard for me. I ended the relationship, i couldnt bare to look at him in the same way ever again. If you love this boy, you will have to make him work for your trust. ok!!! you go girl :smile:

xxxxxx

Reply 3

username47781

20

I never cheated myself but i been cheated on before, first girl who did it to me i used to give too many chances to. But the last girl who did that to me i ditched her immediately and didn't give her another chance.

Reply 4

Dragon24

17

I personally wouldn't give them a second chance, they shouldn't take you for granted. If they really love you they wouldn't cheat and if there are problems I never understand why people never bother to solve them but put the effort into an affair. If you take them back, they may think pushover. If you dump them, they may realise the hurt they've caused.

Reply 5

History_is...

6

I've cheated on bfs in the past, several times, I suck at commitment. Thing is, it doesnt change how you feel about the person you are in a relationship with, its just one of those stupid, im bored and it seemed like a fun idea at the time things! Not defending him, just saying if you want to make it work, this shouldnt mean giving up on your relationship right now.

Reply 6

everylittleting

1

I thnk it does change how you feel about someone to be honest. I would never cheat on my boyfriend because I love him so much now that I know how badly I would hurt if he did the same thing to me. Even if my feelings change and I don't want to be with him I would never cheat because of the fact I did love him and also I have more respect for him than that.

Reply 7

Princess_Peach

People cheat because for whatever reason they are not 100% satisfied with their current relationship. It's selfish and unforgivable.

I have done it in the past and I am ashamed of that.

Reply 8

dita_parlo

11

My ex cheated on me. I found out and forgave him. But afterwards, I could never trust him at all. I feel that forgiving him just prolonged the agony of a break up. Anyways, I became so paranoid and jealous that I would check his phone... And I found out he was cheating again. So yea, I now feel that if someone cheated on me again, I would immediately end it because 1) I feel it will inevitably happen again and 2) I couldn't regain the trust, and I don't like the innsecure paranoid person I became as a result of the cheating.

Reply 9

Gingawings

ive only cheated on a girl once and i felt awful. she didnt find out, thank god she didnt. i will never do it again, im in a relationship now and i would never even think about it. i will flirt with female friends from uni but only in jest. think long and hard about forgiving someone if they hav cheated on u. they may do it again

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

hmm its werid, my friend cheated on her boyfriend when they had a crap relationship.. it brought them alot closer together somehow and now they have an amazing relationship :s-smilie:

Reply 11

Princess_Peach

Anonymous

hmm its werid, my friend cheated on her boyfriend when they had a crap relationship.. it brought them alot closer together somehow and now they have an amazing relationship :s-smilie:

Hmmm that is bizarre. But I have heard of it happening.

Reply 12

History_is...

6

No i disagree with most of that, i was totally happy in my relationship, and it didnt change how i felt about my bf. It really was a spur of the moment im bored and theres a guy there thing, it was never going to be a relationship behind his back, just a random meaningless thing, and i felt bad but i got over it. sounds cold and maybe i am, but it didnt change my relationship.

Reply 13

Fuzzy_Hamster

Never happend to me or other way round. I have an extreme hard line agaisnt cheating as it just an insult and wrong. There no excuse in people doing it and if someone did do it to me I would dump them no matter what. As if you dont...and they do it again. Then it is your fuilt because you let them walk over you in a way! :smile:

Reply 14

Princess_Peach

Fuzzy_Hamster

Never happend to me or other way round. I have an extreme hard line agaisnt cheating as it just an insult and wrong. There no excuse in people doing it and if someone did do it to me I would dump them no matter what. As if you dont...and they do it again. Then it is your fuilt because you let them walk over you in a way! :smile:

You're correct. But its very difficult to dump someone whom you love, even when its the right thing to do.

BTW Hamtaro FTW! ^_^

Reply 15

sr4470

15

I've been cheated on in the past, fortunately the relationships hadnt gotten very far...

Reply 16

Princess_Peach

sr4470

I've been cheated on in the past, fortunately the relationships hadnt gotten very far...

Oh dear. Sorry to hear that.

It is true that the deeper the relationship, the more painful betrayal is.

Reply 17

sr4470

15

Princess_Peach

Oh dear. Sorry to hear that.

It is true that the deeper the relationship, the more painful betrayal is.

Yeah, it would be much different if say, the relationship had lasted 2 years and was meaningful.

Reply 18

edu

2

Cheating is wrong on every level. The very least the person, that you are supposed to hold closer to your heart than anyone else, deserves is honesty and fidelity... Nuff said.

Reply 19

Anonymous #3

Personally as a lad if i ask a girl to go out with me as my girlfriend from then on I say no matter what the chance I wont cheat and I expect the same.

But the people who do it are people with bad morals in my opinion, if any of my mates do it and are proud of it it annoys me and I just stop talkin to them.

Cheating - those who do it and those who are 'victims' of it

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