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    I'm not really sure where to post this or why I am typing this but I feel awful and I don't really know why or who to tell. I have this horrible feeling in my chest and cant stop crying, I feel like it wouldn't bother anyone if I died.
    I am currently at university, I have friends, a boyfriend, and I thought once I got here things would be different, I would stop feeling this way. I doesn't happen all the time but every so often I have this feeling where I feel like I don't trust or know anyone, and that everyone is playing a joke on me; and think I'm stupid enough to believe it.
    I feel like I can't be happy for too long, like when I am happy, I feel like I am waiting for something to go wrong and that scares me. Because of this I think I am isolating myself.
    I have told my boyfriend a few times when its happened, he's found me crying when I have pretended not to, been really supportive but I feel as though if I tell him every time it happens as he has told me to he will eventually get tired of it. Its this feeling that creeps up on me and I don't know how to fight it. Its like my brain creates false scenes and plays them for me and convinces me they're real.
    I feel like I annoy people and I know that it all in my head but it keeps telling me things, and I believe what its telling me. I feel sick and cant move.
    Usually when an episode like this finishes I feel stupid for feeling this way but while I am feeling it I feel like killing myself.

    Are you afraid that your boyfriend won't accept this feeling the next time you tell him about it? If it does happen, he isn't really a boyfriend. You and your boyfriend are together because you accept each other's flaws and are there for each other when things don't go right. I'm sure you were there for him when he felt down.

    It sounds like you need to talk to someone trained in dealing with mental health disorders. its great that you are talking about it and asking for help but I don't think anyone on here can give you the help or support you need. Make an appointment with your GP. I know it sounds really difficult but they will know how to help you and offer you the best support available.

    Just remember, there's nothing to be embarrassed about and what your experiencing happens to a lot of people. You are not alone. Good luck x
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