One for the relationship gurus

Well my story...

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months or so now, starting when I was in Yr13 and she was in Yr12, well now I am working full time and she is still in Sixth Form...I enjoy going out at weekends with my old friends from Sixth Form who were in my year and catching up with one another, and my girlfriend doesn't come out with me because she isn't old enough, so we don't see much of each other at weekends.

About 2 months ago things started to go down hill (In my mind anyway) and so I went to break up with her a week or 2 ago.. She persuaded me not to give up and have a break and see how we feel.

Well when we were apart I really missed her, so we ended up getting back together, however already I am starting to regret this as things seem to be going downhill quickly. She puts too much pressure on me like earlier asking me what she means to me. I replied honestly saying I didn't know, to which she replied there is not much point being in a relationship where the love is unreciprocated.

I am really confused because I don't feel that staying together is doing anything but prelonging the envitable, yet when we are apart I do miss spending time with her.

Please someone help try to make some sense of my feelings and emotions :-)

Many Thanks

Reply 1

foxiroxi

10

I think you see her as a friend, you like to spend time with her but don't want a relationship?

It must be hard that the things you want to do (pubs and clubs) she's not yet old enough for.

Reply 2

high priestess fnord

9

i dont know what you want us to say. you need to work out how you feel, we cant do it for you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

high priestess fnord

i dont know what you want us to say. you need to work out how you feel, we cant do it for you.

The only thing I can liken my situation to is a snow globe, whereby inside its crazy and you don't know what to do, however I was hoping that perhaps by someone looking in they may be able to suggest something that might change my perspective...

Reply 4

woodlebert

beautiful metaphor.

maybe take another break? although i dont know how she will respond to two breaks. if you still miss her...but know you cant handle the 'ship. maybe as the other hustler said: friends is for the best

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

I think we have almost started to grow apart since I have left sixth form because we are both growing up, however at differing paces...

I know many of you will not be able to help me, however it helps to know someone is listening and trying to help

Reply 6

dita_parlo

11

I think that at the end of the day, you have obviously cared for her or you guys wouldn't have been together ten months, but things have deteriorated because, as you say, you are both growing up and growing apart. However, because you have cared for her, it is obvuously going to hurt when you split up, because you will miss that love/friendship/company you have had for the past ten months. But it sounds as if you know that the relationship isn't going to last, so it will be better in the long run to break it off now, or else it will just hurt even more in the future. *Hugs*

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

dita_parlo

I think that at the end of the day, you have obviously cared for her or you guys wouldn't have been together ten months, but things have deteriorated because, as you say, you are both growing up and growing apart. However, because you have cared for her, it is obvuously going to hurt when you split up, because you will miss that love/friendship/company you have had for the past ten months. But it sounds as if you know that the relationship isn't going to last, so it will be better in the long run to break it off now, or else it will just hurt even more in the future. *Hugs*

Thank you

You don't know how greatful I am for your kind words!

Reply 8

Princess_Peach

I feel for both of you in this situation.

It sounds like she has stronger feelings for you than you for her.

You are fond of her but not in love. You are both still very young. It's your call. Explain to her that you want to take it easy. If she can't accept that then perhaps its time time find someone who has the same outlook as you.

Reply 9

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

foxiroxi

I think you see her as a friend, you like to spend time with her but don't want a relationship?

It must be hard that the things you want to do (pubs and clubs) she's not yet old enough for.

If you think things aren't working out you really should begin to work them out with each other as soon as possible, at least to be able to leave it amicable between you both :smile:

One for the relationship gurus

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