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How much will severing ties with my family mess up my life? Watch

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    I'm currently in school and living with my family. However it has got to the point where I resent all of them but my sister who I have a very good relationship and she feels the same way as me.

    I'd like to emphasise that this is not a phase or something which I will get over; things have happened which have left me lacking respect for all of them. They demean and attack me at most opportunities, as this is the only thing I've known for almost all of my life. I have grown up in an environment where I have had no support and care, instead I have been routinely attacked my my parents, brother and second sister, causing my elder sister to move out at 15 when I was 9, leaving me with no one. An example of how messed up it is, I have an institutionalised sister, another who left home at 15 and turned to drink and drugs, a disturbed mother who's friend died almost 20 years ago and has been better ever since and an emotionally/ physically abusive father who regularly tries to beat me, and when I stop him/ fight back, threatens to call the police. I became withdrawn and without any support system. It was only until recently when I got popular and have spent time with other people's families, when I realised this isn't how everyone's function, and although now I get love from my friends as well as their parents, who morbidly have shown me more love in the last two years than my actual parents ever have, I am left disturbed. Not to the point where I cannot function, but the opposite of this, I function almost mechanically, I lack empathy and feel broken to a large extent.

    In regards to this, It's my opinion that all families do is **** you up. I was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation, and if I would be able to leave my family and loose contact with them (when I go to uni) without severe consequences. Would it stop me from progressing with my future, having an unresolved and damaged past? Would future friends or girlfriends think it weird and judge me for not having a relationship with anyone asides from my sister? Please if you have anything to say, do, as I'm really lost here, without direction or information to make a decision.
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    Future girlfriends would understand why you would cut off your family if you explain to them exactly what you just said in that post. It's hard, I can imagine but you shouldn't let it affect how you grow because it could go very very wrong so just try and look on the bright side and think of how free you'll be once you go to uni, enjoy yourself. If you have a best friend spend more time at his/hers rather than being miserable at home. Hope this helps x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm currently in school and living with my family. However it has got to the point where I resent all of them but my sister who I have a very good relationship and she feels the same way as me.

    I'd like to emphasise that this is not a phase or something which I will get over; things have happened which have left me lacking respect for all of them. They demean and attack me at most opportunities, as this is the only thing I've known for almost all of my life. I have grown up in an environment where I have had no support and care, instead I have been routinely attacked my my parents, brother and second sister, causing my elder sister to move out at 15 when I was 9, leaving me with no one. An example of how messed up it is, I have an institutionalised sister, another who left home at 15 and turned to drink and drugs, a disturbed mother who's friend died almost 20 years ago and has been better ever since and an emotionally/ physically abusive father who regularly tries to beat me, and when I stop him/ fight back, threatens to call the police. I became withdrawn and without any support system. It was only until recently when I got popular and have spent time with other people's families, when I realised this isn't how everyone's function, and although now I get love from my friends as well as their parents, who morbidly have shown me more love in the last two years than my actual parents ever have, I am left disturbed. Not to the point where I cannot function, but the opposite of this, I function almost mechanically, I lack empathy and feel broken to a large extent.

    In regards to this, It's my opinion that all families do is **** you up. I was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation, and if I would be able to leave my family and loose contact with them (when I go to uni) without severe consequences. Would it stop me from progressing with my future, having an unresolved and damaged past? Would future friends or girlfriends think it weird and judge me for not having a relationship with anyone asides from my sister? Please if you have anything to say, do, as I'm really lost here, without direction or information to make a decision.
    Severing ties would improve your life. If your girlfriends don't like it, they are not worth your time
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    I am in pretty much the same place as you, and am too planning to severe ties with my family once I go to Uni. Unfortunately, i have no good relationship with anyone in my entire family at all. No. No it will not mess you up. It will save you. God knows how long I've been waiting to crawl out of this pit. Don't think that escaping will damage you. And honestly, if future friends or girlfriends find fault in you, or if my own future relationships found fault in me, well goodbye to them. They have obviously never known how it feels to be cut down by the very people the world has declared to be your "strength". That doesn't give them the right to judge you.

    I don't know about your religious beliefs, so you may believe in life after death or reincarnation, but frankly I just believe in this one life now. Family? Yeah. They pretty much **** you up. Cut the ties, and please. Whatever you do, don't regret it. Don't think that maybe they would have changed.

    For some, redemption is impossible.


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