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I hide in my uni room because I feel ugly and now have no friends :( Any advice? watch

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    Hello folks

    I'm just wanting a little advice and input regarding my situation.

    I came out of recovery from anorexia a month before starting uni. I was so happy to be getting a fresh start a uni in a new city in the North but perhaps I bit off a little more than I could chew...

    On the first evening of moving into halls many people on my corridor had already moved in. It's just rooms on my corridor as we are catered we don't have a shared kitchen and it's not like separate flats.

    I introduced myself to a girl from across the corridor but she was stand-offish and wouldn't talk to me for long. I regret it now but I retreated into my room and cried as I was convinced it was my weight and my ugliness that drove her away. I thought I would compose myself before I introduce myself to the others. Shortly after I heard the same girl come out of her room and knock for everyone else on the corridor and they all went for dinner... Because I perceived that she didn't like me and was friends with all other others in my corridor would do the same so I pretty much hid in my room for most of freshers week and well whole of first term. I did of course eventually bump into the people from my corridor but half just said hi and the other half ignored me after I smiled at them.

    I just feel like a hideous beast that should stay locked away. I usually only leave my room when absolutely necessary i.e. to go to lectures or the bathroom which I hold in as long as I can to avoid people and take my shower at 2am because I can't bear the thought of anyone seeing my face or body. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach when I think about leaving my room and someone seeing me I literally run down the corridor as silly as that sounds. It took me 4 hours to pluck up the courage to leave my room today as I needed food as I felt so weak. On my way back going through the communal living room (for the entire hall) I nearly fainted because my anxiety was so high I got back to my room and burst into tears ashamed that I had to be seen. I just hate my face and body and know that if I was lovely I would have made friends.

    People have commented when I bump into them on the way to lectures... Why do I never see you? Which just skyrockets the anxiety and I make stupid excuses and try to get out of the situation.

    Is it now too late to make friends? And how do I cope with the 'where have you been' and 'who are you?' at this stage? Or should I just stay in my room and admit defeat? I know this is my own fault for not putting effort in and being so self conscious. But there are voices in my head screaming at me constantly how ugly, fat, stupid and unworthy I am and I really don't know how I'm going to get over this.

    Thank you! Sorry this is so long!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello folks

    I'm just wanting a little advice and input regarding my situation.

    I came out of recovery from anorexia a month before starting uni. I was so happy to be getting a fresh start a uni in a new city in the North but perhaps I bit off a little more than I could chew...

    On the first evening of moving into halls many people on my corridor had already moved in. It's just rooms on my corridor as we are catered we don't have a shared kitchen and it's not like separate flats.

    I introduced myself to a girl from across the corridor but she was stand-offish and wouldn't talk to me for long. I regret it now but I retreated into my room and cried as I was convinced it was my weight and my ugliness that drove her away. I thought I would compose myself before I introduce myself to the others. Shortly after I heard the same girl come out of her room and knock for everyone else on the corridor and they all went for dinner... Because I perceived that she didn't like me and was friends with all other others in my corridor would do the same so I pretty much hid in my room for most of freshers week and well whole of first term. I did of course eventually bump into the people from my corridor but half just said hi and the other half ignored me after I smiled at them.

    I just feel like a hideous beast that should stay locked away. I usually only leave my room when absolutely necessary i.e. to go to lectures or the bathroom which I hold in as long as I can to avoid people and take my shower at 2am because I can't bear the thought of anyone seeing my face or body. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach when I think about leaving my room and someone seeing me I literally run down the corridor as silly as that sounds. It took me 4 hours to pluck up the courage to leave my room today as I needed food as I felt so weak. On my way back going through the communal living room (for the entire hall) I nearly fainted because my anxiety was so high I got back to my room and burst into tears ashamed that I had to be seen. I just hate my face and body and know that if I was lovely I would have made friends.

    People have commented when I bump into them on the way to lectures... Why do I never see you? Which just skyrockets the anxiety and I make stupid excuses and try to get out of the situation.

    Is it now too late to make friends? And how do I cope with the 'where have you been' and 'who are you?' at this stage? Or should I just stay in my room and admit defeat? I know this is my own fault for not putting effort in and being so self conscious. But there are voices in my head screaming at me constantly how ugly, fat, stupid and unworthy I am and I really don't know how I'm going to get over this.

    Thank you! Sorry this is so long!
    thanks for highlighting anorexia in second or third sentence, my prescription is clear: you need more post-eating disorder therapy for self-esteem and social anxiety, OP. Best of luck
 
 
 
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