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Boyfriend wants to propose before uni? watch

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    #1

    Me and my boyfriend may be going to the same uni but if we're not he wants to propose so we know we are together even if we're separated.

    I'm really not sure how I feel about this and I need help :/

    We've been together for a year and I love him and all that jazz but we're only 19 :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my boyfriend may be going to the same uni but if we're not he wants to propose so we know we are together even if we're separated.

    I'm really not sure how I feel about this and I need help :/

    We've been together for a year and I love him and all that jazz but we're only 19 :/
    If you're not ready don't say yes but explain to him that you're not ready and feel too young! Just because you're at different unis doesn't mean you'll be apart, and you'll always know you're together, suggest a commitment ring or something small you can always wear as a reminder. I understand what he means- My boyfriend and I have necklaces which we wear so we have something special when we're apart

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my boyfriend may be going to the same uni but if we're not he wants to propose so we know we are together even if we're separated.

    I'm really not sure how I feel about this and I need help :/

    We've been together for a year and I love him and all that jazz but we're only 19 :/

    Please please please tell him that you aren't comfortable with that idea. I hate to impose values on other people, but it seems you agree that 19 is young for that sort of decision-people change a lot in college. If either of the two of you aren't sure, you really shouldn't do it.

    While its hard, with skype and frequent visits its very possible to maintain an ldr in university. Try and talk to him about how, if you're truly committed to one another, a proposal wouldn't change that; and if (hypothetically) you find yourselves growing apart from eachother, neither of you will feel obligated to repress your worries out of obligation.
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    Definitely agree with purplelamp. Calmly explain to him how you love him but don't quite feel ready for engagement yet - that's not a remark on your relationship as much as it is your age. The fact is, if you were going to break up at university then it would happen no matter if you're engaged. It's all about making the effort to maintain communication on both ends, that is what will keep the relationship strong, not an engagement ring.
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    Yeah tell him that you do love him and stuff, but why don't you wait a little bit first until he proposes... You're still only Young!
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    It's absurd to think about marriage now. You're brain hasn't even finished developing fully - especially the judgement areas. Wait till you are 25+.
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    (Original post by purplelamp)
    suggest a commitment ring or something small you can always wear as a reminder. I understand what he means- My boyfriend and I have necklaces which we wear so we have something special when we're apart

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    Totally agree a token of some sort really helps one feel less alone. If you two decide to stay together next year, try and exchange something like that. My boyfriend and I did bracelets, perhaps its silly but its really lent a sense of security for both of us during the uncertainty of long distance.
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    Only for a year since you've been going out? No wonder divorce rates are so high(not talking to directly at you)

    If you can get through 3 years of uni without him then fair enough he can propose but you're only 19!! Don't settle down too early you'll find many people change during uni
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    (Original post by bittr n swt)
    Only for a year since you've been going out? No wonder divorce rates are so high(not talking to directly at you)

    If you can get through 3 years of uni without him then fair enough he can propose but you're only 19!! Don't settle down too early you'll find many people change during uni

    My parents got in 3 months of meeting each other. They've been together for 30 years.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my boyfriend may be going to the same uni but if we're not he wants to propose so we know we are together even if we're separated.

    I'm really not sure how I feel about this and I need help :/

    We've been together for a year and I love him and all that jazz but we're only 19 :/
    Going to a different uni is a stupid reason to propose. If he's having to propose to protect you relationship it probably isn't going to last anyway.

    If he was going to propose either way fair enough, but proposing explicitly for that reason is hollow.

    I have seen relationships last with both parties at different unis, so it can be done but you shouldn't propose just for that reason.
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    (Original post by Master Jack)
    My parents got in 3 months of meeting each other. They've been together for 30 years.
    So what? We are in 2015, not 1970s. Things are different now. It was easy to commit early on in the old days but not now.
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    (Original post by bittr n swt)
    So what? We are in 2015, not 1970s. Things are different now. It was easy to commit early on in the old days but not now.

    Technically it'd be the 80s. Hello, can you even do maths?! :rolleyes:


    Anyway love at first sight is real.
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks everyone, to clarify we have been best friends for about 3 years and would have got together a lot sooner if we had told each other. I think he'd propose to me anyway and he knows I don't want to get married, and never will but he wants to feel as though we are together and committed which we are. I know we're young and painfully aware that it may not last because we will both meet other people but I do love him.

    Anyway I can break it to him gently?
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    Ah Love....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my boyfriend may be going to the same uni but if we're not he wants to propose so we know we are together even if we're separated.

    I'm really not sure how I feel about this and I need help :/

    We've been together for a year and I love him and all that jazz but we're only 19 :/
    I think you should wait a few years, if you two were suppose to marry and be together.. you two will still be together after uni and many years to come. There's no need to rush and find out you've made a huge mistake.
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    We wouldn't actually get married, it would more be the gesture that we intend to stay together but he knows I don't want marriage.

    I don't understand why he has to call it an engagement rather than something like a "promise ring" which would be far better and not to crazy at our age
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    (Original post by Master Jack)
    Technically it'd be the 80s. Hello, can you even do maths?! :rolleyes:


    Anyway love at first sight is real.
    70/80s who cares same generation

    Love at first sight lol only kids say this. Grow up. Out of interest how old was your mum when she got married?
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    (Original post by bittr n swt)
    70/80s who cares same generation

    Love at first sight lol only kids say this. Grow up. Out of interest how old was your mum when she got married?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We wouldn't actually get married, it would more be the gesture that we intend to stay together but he knows I don't want marriage.

    I don't understand why he has to call it an engagement rather than something like a "promise ring" which would be far better and not to crazy at our age
    Well in that case i don't see a problem with that, just remember you may meet someone else at uni
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    Just explain to him that you love him, but a proposal is quite a step at your age / stage of life.
    Realistically, if you're going to survive uni without breaking up, you'll do that whether you're engaged or not. And being engaged won't mean you won't break up.

    I'm 20, have been with my boyfriend for five years, and he's graduating uni this year - so we'll have made it through being long-distance (our unis are ~400 miles apart) for three years - but I wouldn't be ready for an engagement were he to propose. I just feel it's a big step and I feel stable enough as things are - nothing wrong with feeling the same
 
 
 
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