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am i becoming "one of the lads"? watch

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    I met a guy at new year and we got on great. We started texting each other a couple of days later and have been talking everyday since. I would like to start dating this guy, but i know he was seeing someone and maybe still is. Whenever we meet up he always makes it a group thing with his friends, i'll ask him if he wants to do something and says that he's seeing his friends and i should come along too.

    Basically i don't want to become one of the lads, i want him to see me as a potential girlfriend, so what do i do? i don't want to scare him off but i want to be more than friends.

    Should i keep hanging out with his friends and him in the hope something happens or ask him outright?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met a guy at new year and we got on great. We started texting each other a couple of days later and have been talking everyday since. I would like to start dating this guy, but i know he was seeing someone and maybe still is. Whenever we meet up he always makes it a group thing with his friends, i'll ask him if he wants to do something and says that he's seeing his friends and i should come along too.

    Basically i don't want to become one of the lads, i want him to see me as a potential girlfriend, so what do i do? i don't want to scare him off but i want to be more than friends.

    Should i keep hanging out with his friends and him in the hope something happens or ask him outright?
    If you're enjoying meeting up with them all then crack on, but make sure that the majority of your time is focused to him, try not be clingy though. wait it out for another few weeks as its a bit soon yet, and then ask him if he wants anything more serious from you.

    Of course you could go for the alternative route of trying physical things with him (try to kiss him etc, will help loosen the nerves if at a party after a few drinks) - and then if he kisses back you know he isn't disregarding you and you can then take it from there.
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    I sense another love triangle thingamajig.
    Besides, what's the problem with being friends with more than one guy?
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    (Original post by lewif002)
    If you're enjoying meeting up with them all then crack on, but make sure that the majority of your time is focused to him, try not be clingy though. wait it out for another few weeks as its a bit soon yet, and then ask him if he wants anything more serious from you.

    Of course you could go for the alternative route of trying physical things with him (try to kiss him etc, will help loosen the nerves if at a party after a few drinks) - and then if he kisses back you know he isn't disregarding you and you can then take it from there.
    i get on fine with his friends, i just don't want to become one of them. I feel like i need to establish a barrier somehow.

    being as socially inept as i am the trying to be physical thing is attractive, i haven't ever had a boyfriend who didn't start like that. Maybe im just really rubbish at hinting when i like someone. Only thing is it's kinda difficult to get him on his own.
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    I sense another love triangle thingamajig.
    Besides, what's the problem with being friends with more than one guy?
    Nothing wrong with being friends with guys, but i have plenty of friends. I find this guy attractive (which is quite rare for me) and i want to be more than friends.
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    Anyone else?
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    What do you normally do with the group of lads? What is it that you would rather do with the one lad?
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    What do you normally do with the group of lads? What is it that you would rather do with the one lad?
    Normally we all sit about watching she's, i'd rather spend time with one of them on his own but I'm not getting the opportunity
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    *dvds
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    If a girl gets friendzoned, it's never because she's "one of the lads".

    All you have to do is give some kind of indication - glam it up a bit or just come out with it - and unless there is some other reason (eg a pre-existing girlfriend), it's almost certain it will be on like Donkey Kong.

    This "I only see you as a good friend" is a purely female concept.
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    Get drunk with him, under those conditions it's practically impossible not to express any interest
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    (Original post by Clip)
    If a girl gets friendzoned, it's never because she's "one of the lads".

    All you have to do is give some kind of indication - glam it up a bit or just come out with it - and unless there is some other reason (eg a pre-existing girlfriend), it's almost certain it will be on like Donkey Kong.

    This "I only see you as a good friend" is a purely female concept.
    So do blokes have a friendzone? The main worry just now is that there could be another girl on the scene
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So do blokes have a friendzone? The main worry just now is that there could be another girl on the scene
    None that I'm aware of.

    There are dozens of girls that I would call my friends - but there isn't one of them that I wouldn't flush that friendship down the toilet as the cost of having sex with them, even if only once.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    None that I'm aware of.

    There are dozens of girls that I would call my friends - but there isn't one of them that I wouldn't flush that friendship down the toilet as the cost of having sex with them, even if only once.
    so basically i should continue being friends with this guy until i know more about what's going on with him, then try and find the right time to make a move? im happy enough with that but don't want to get stuck just being seen as a friend or sister or something
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    If he really wanted you he would have asked you out just you and him...he hasn't and will not.

    Lads don't play a waiting game, they're explicit in what they want.

    Find someone else. The more you hang around with his friends the more friend zoned you'll get
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    (Original post by bittr n swt)
    If he really wanted you he would have asked you out just you and him...he hasn't and will not.

    Lads don't play a waiting game, they're explicit in what they want.

    Find someone else. The more you hang around with his friends the more friend zoned you'll get
    so now i have two folk telling me completely different things. Not confusing at all

    and im not disregarding your post, just kinda hoping it isn't right (aka burying my head in the sand, for the moment anyway)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so now i have two folk telling me completely different things. Not confusing at all

    and im not disregarding your post, just kinda hoping it isn't right (aka burying my head in the sand, for the moment anyway)
    The other folk isn't as experienced as me....I have more experience with things like these.

    He's a lad and we all know they're confident guys who don't play shy boy. They're assertive dominant and direct.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so basically i should continue being friends with this guy until i know more about what's going on with him, then try and find the right time to make a move? im happy enough with that but don't want to get stuck just being seen as a friend or sister or something
    I'm not the Pythia oracle or anything, but I would say under normal circumstances it should be relatively straightforward. Go out somewhere and dress up a bit - or just do some drinking - and just get with him. If he shoots you down - then there might be some strange cicumstances you are unaware of.

    One thing you did get right though - if you do your best and get shot down - that is exactly what it's like to be "one of the lads".
 
 
 
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