The Student Room Group

Awkwardness

Hey everyone, I need some advice about a relationship (not a relationship in the going out sense).

I met a girl a few weeks ago who I have seen several (more than five less than ten) times since. The first time we met I was confident and joyous, I felt in control of the situation, as if I was leading it. I felt comfortable and secure in her company. But the next time we met things were much more... well,awkward. I felt a pressure to be funny, to entertain and amuse. She seemed to be quite keen to get to know me but for some reason this made me feel as if the friendship was compelled to work, as if it just had to because she seemed to like me quite a lot (it's unusual for a girl to show such an interest, I don't really have any experience with women and I'm at university). She started to text me lots and we met up quite a few times, the awkwardness persisted and I was unable to shift the feeling that I was under some sort of pressure to make this work. Maybe I'm scared that if I relax and show my true, unguarded self she won't like me and the whole thing will come to an embarrassing anti-climax. I don't know how to dispel the awkwardness which seems to have firmly rooted itself. I think it could work out if I could get some confidence, if indeed that is the problem.

I'm a bit confused about the whole thing really so any help would be warmly appreciated.

Reply 1

Anonymous
Hey everyone, I need some advice about a relationship (not a relationship in the going out sense).

I met a girl a few weeks ago who I have seen several (more than five less than ten) times since. The first time we met I was confident and joyous, I felt in control of the situation, as if I was leading it. I felt comfortable and secure in her company. But the next time we met things were much more... well,awkward. I felt a pressure to be funny, to entertain and amuse. She seemed to be quite keen to get to know me but for some reason this made me feel as if the friendship was compelled to work, as if it just had to because she seemed to like me quite a lot (it's unusual for a girl to show such an interest, I don't really have any experience with women and I'm at university). She started to text me lots and we met up quite a few times, the awkwardness persisted and I was unable to shift the feeling that I was under some sort of pressure to make this work. Maybe I'm scared that if I relax and show my true, unguarded self she won't like me and the whole thing will come to an embarrassing anti-climax. I don't know how to dispel the awkwardness which seems to have firmly rooted itself. I think it could work out if I could get some confidence, if indeed that is the problem.

I'm a bit confused about the whole thing really so any help would be warmly appreciated.



be yourself..thats all i can say. just relax.

Reply 2

Me
be yourself..thats all i can say. just relax.


How?

Reply 3

This is such an annoying answer I know...

The only way to have confidence in yourself and be relaxed around her is to actually try being yourself. Until you do this, you're never going to know if she will like your "true, unguarded self", once you know that she likes you for who you are, surely you have nothing to worry about. You obviously aren't happy with the way things are now so what have you got to lose? She liked you when you first met, if you were being yourself then chances are she does like you!

Reply 4

greenisgo
This is such an annoying answer I know...

The only way to have confidence in yourself and be relaxed around her is to actually try being yourself. Until you do this, you're never going to know if she will like your "true, unguarded self", once you know that she likes you for who you are, surely you have nothing to worry about. You obviously aren't happy with the way things are now so what have you got to lose? She liked you when you first met, if you were being yourself then chances are she does like you!


That's much better advice, thanks!