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    Explore the ways Steinbeck creates sympathy for Curley’s wife:

    The novella ‘Of Mice and Men’ was written by John Steinbeck during the Great Depression, 1930’s. The Great Depression was a period of hardship for the majority of people in America as the country was experiencing an economic depression. (Should I write about George and Lennie being migrant workers or just focus the introduction on Curley’s wife) Curley’s wife is the only women on the ranch who is frequently discriminated by the other men who live in the bunk house. Steinbeck uses the themes of loneliness to make the reader feel sympathy for her. Women in America were still seen as inferior to the men.

    Steinbeck uses metaphors to create a sense of desperation through the character ‘Curley’s wife’. Steinbeck describes Curley’s wife hair as ‘rolled [in] clusters like sausages’, ‘rolled’ and ‘clusters’ suggest the vast amount of time and effort she spent attempting to make her hair look elaborate. During the readers first introduction to Curley’s wife we can see that she is obviously concerned deeply about her appearance and how other people perceive her, otherwise she would have not spent so much time trying to make her hair look appealing. The readers pity Curley’s wife as she is so insecure about her appearance that she has to spend so much time on making herself look presentable. However, her hair being illustrated as sausages implies that her hair looks unattractive as sausages are fat and greasy with a mushy texture. Curley’s wife is determined to make herself look good. The reader can deduce that Curley’s wife craves attention because she would not have spent that much time doing her hair if it was not to get someone’s attention. The reader feels sympathetic for her as she yearns for attention.

    Steinbeck presents Curley’s wife to the readers as very sexual and promiscuous character. Her face was ‘heavily made up’; she is attempting to make herself look elegant because she is infatuated with how people perceive her. However, she could have also plastered the heavy makeup on her face to hide the true, genuine self. She wears her make up as a facade. She could be embarrassed to show the true her so she has to cover it up so she can feel more confident. The readers feel pitiful for her because she is unconfident and has to use her make up as a mask to conceal her true identity. Her face could also be ‘heavily made up’ because she could be in an abusive relationship. The readers are aware that Curley is a fighter, he could abuse her and she has to cover her scars so people don’t notice that she is in an abusive relationship. (Do I need to back this up with extra information?) This creates a sense of sympathy because she is in a broken relationship, where she is being neglected. She can not leave the relationship as she has nowhere to go as she is a woman in a male dominated society. Since the ranch is a microcosm of America in the 1930’s, she was discriminated and maltreated on the ranch so this reflects how she would be treated during the Great Depressions.

    She wore shoes with ‘red ostrich feathers’, the connotations of the word ‘red’ suggests: lust, passion and intensity however, it also suggests danger, violence and blood. Ostriches are birds that can not fly, Steinbeck could be portraying her as a woman who is stuck in Soledad and can not escape from there because she is a woman who is seen as inferior to the other men on the ranch. The readers feel apologetic for her because she had a dream but it was unattainable due to the fact that she was a women living in a prejudice society. Steinbeck is criticising the American dream because he believes that it was unachievable for a woman in a sexist society.

    Curley’s wife is described as ‘jail bait’ she uses her sexuality and beauty as a weapon. In ways she is more powerful than the men because she is the only women, so she can use her power to attract men. Her being described as ‘bait’ suggests that her only use is to lure people into a trap, baits too are feeble and eventually die. Steinbeck could be foreshadowing events. She lures Lennie into her trap and he eventually dies. Curley’s wife uses her eyes to exert her power on the men. She uses her eyes to lure men into her trap too ‘her eyes travelled from one face to another’, Candy and Crooks avoid her gaze but Lennie ‘watched her fascinated’ by them and not scared by her power but instead trapped by it. Lennie eventually died. His death could show that Curley’s wife was nothing but a nuisance. The readers do not feel sorry for Curley’s wife as she is a troublesome character and catalysis’s dangerous events in the novella.

    Steinbeck uses the theme of loneliness to create sympathy for Curley’s wife, being the only women on a ranch in the 1930’s was very lonely as the men saw her as inferior and less important. So the only way she can get the attention she craves is through her sexuality otherwise the men would not talk to her. She is trapped in a loveless marriage, Curley and his wife are actually seen together until the end of the novella and when she is dead he offers no companionship at all. He does not even touch her when she dies, Slim ‘explored her neck’, this shows that Slim offers more emotion to Curley’s wife, even though Curley is married to her. The readers feel sorry for her because she must have been so depressed in her marriage because no love was shown to her by her husband, therefore this must have caused to her to seek the attention of other men. If Curley had shown her more compassion she would not be as interested in Lennie so she would not be dead. In a way, Curley is responsible for the death of his wife. She is aware that ‘they all went’ ‘even Curley’ to a brothel. Maybe talking to other men on the ranch is a method her destroying her relationship by disobeying his order, not to talk to the other men on the ranch. This could be revenge for treating her inadequately. The fact that Curley has to get intimate with other women when he is married makes the reader feel very sorry for her because the whole point of marriage is commitment and he is not abiding by his promise. She gets ‘awful lonely’ even though she is married. She has the confident to tell Lennie that she is lonely must show severity of her isolation. The word ‘awful’ suggests that the loneliness is unbearable and she desire for some consideration. She has the life that Lennie, George and Candy want to achieve through their American dream. This is ironic as she has house that she does not want to live in and finical support therefore she never has to work again, where as Lennie, George and Candy do not. Yet she is still not content, she wants human companionship. ‘Glove fulla Vaseline’ suggest that Curley is only with Curley’s wife for physical desire not emotional purposes.

    The fact that Curley’s wife does not have a name shows her insignificance on the ranch. The apostrophe shows that she belongs to Curley as his possession. This is also a sign of male oppression in the 1930’s. The readers feel sorry for her as she is not seen as an individual but an object; this makes the reader distressed as she is a human being who deserves respect and equality. Also the ‘glove fulla Vaseline’ demonstrates that Curley is showing off to the other men on the ranch. He is portraying it as a trophy. This makes the reader feel angry because something that intimate is meant to kept private not broadcasted to the whole world and this makes them pity Curley’s wife as she can not do anything about the situation because Curley wont not listen to her. In Curley’s wife final moments ‘Lennie’s other hand closed around her mouth’, this could be symbolic for men trying to silence women during this period of time. The reader feels sorry for Curley’s wife as she is not listened to by men on the ranch. This is similar for the life of a woman in America during the 1930’s.
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    Pretty good - look here for some more inspiration https://madameanglaise.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/curleys-wife-sample-gcse-english-literature-essay/

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    I've gone through it with green and red. Green are issues with content or argument, red is spelling/grammar. I've been quite thorough, I think, and I generally mark to quite a high standard so don't be disheartened by any comments. I'm a uni student so I'm a little out of touch with the level expected at GCSE/A-level, but I'd give this a low-mid C.
    Your main issue is a lack of close textual analysis. You have a tendency to put a quote at the beginning of a paragraph and then stray into subjectivity and conjecture. Watch this. Keep referring to the text and find evidence for the points you make.
    Overall you seem to repeat yourself quite a bit. Try to avoid just having one paragraph where people do sympathise with her, and one where they don't over and over again. Highlight contrasts as part of your analysis. What do they show?
    Also, you need a conclusion. You need to pull all of your points together and answer the question once and for all.

    Remember :
    Woman is singular, women is plural.
    Cannot is one word.
    Always, always proof read.

    For your next draft, I recommend you plan it thoroughly so you know what you're going to write, and how that fits in with your wider argument.

    Hope this is helpful! Feel free to PM me for any clarification/further help!

    And on the whole, not a bad job

    p.s. Sorry if the green is hard to see.

    The novella ‘Of Mice and Men’ was written by John Steinbeck during the Great Depression of the 1930’s. The Great Depression was a period of hardship for the majority of people in America as the country was experiencing an economic depression. (Should I write about George and Lennie being migrant workers or just focus the introduction on Curley’s wife) To be honest I don't really see the relevance of the context you've included here. Curley’s wife is the only woman on the ranch, and is frequently discriminated against by the other men who live in the bunk house. Steinbeck uses the themes of loneliness to make the reader feel sympathy for her. Women in America were still seen as inferior to the men.Do you have a source for this? Someone (a critic) you can quote? That would make your introduction stronger.


    Steinbeck uses metaphors to create a sense of desperation through the character ‘Curley’s wife’.You've already referred to her without the inverted commas, why start now? Steinbeck describes Curley’s wife's hair as ‘rolled [in] clusters like sausages’.[R]olled’ and ‘clusters’ suggest the vast amount of time and effort she spent attempting to make her hair look elaborate. During the readers first introduction to Curley’s wife we can see that she is obviously deeply concerned with her appearance and how other people perceive her, otherwise she would have not spent so much time trying to make her hair look appealing. The readers pity Curley’s wife as she is so insecure about her appearance that she has to spend so much time on making herself look presentable. However, her hair being illustrated as sausages This could be clearer. implies that her hair looks unattractive as sausages are fat and greasy with a mushy texture.I've wouldn't describe sausages as mushy, myself. This next sentence doesn't really follow; you've gone from having sausage hair to looking good. It seems like you put the sausage bit in as an afterthought. Curley’s wife is determined to make herself look good. The reader can deduce that Curley’s wife craves attention because she would not have spent that much time doing her hair if it was not to get someone’s attention. The reader feels sympathy for her (or sympathetic towards her) as she yearns for attention. You've repeated yourself here.

    Steinbeck presents Curley’s wife to the readers as a very sexual and promiscuous character. Her face was ‘heavily made up’; she is attempting to make herself look elegant because she is obsessed (infatuated has too much of a nuanced meaning) with how people perceive her. However, she could have also plastered the heavy makeup on her face to hide the true, genuine self. She wears her makeup as a façade. She could be embarrassed to show the true her self so she has to cover it up so she can feel more confident.Your sentence runs on a bit with 'so's here. Is there any actual evidence of this? From her conversation? This paragraph seems very similar to the last one.The readers feel pitiful for her because she is unconfident and has to use her make up as a mask to conceal her true identity. You haven't shown this. Her face could also be ‘heavily made up’ because she could be in an abusive relationship. The readers are aware that Curley is a fighter, he could abuse her and she has to cover her scars so people don’t notice that she is in an abusive relationship. (Do I need to back this up with extra information? Yes, otherwise it's just speculation) This creates a sense of sympathy because she is in a broken relationship, where she is being neglected. She cannot leave the relationship as she has nowhere to go, since she is a woman in a male dominated society (try 'unforgiving patriarchal society, or something). Since the ranch is a microcosm of America in the 1930’s, Is it? It is here that it would have been beneficial to make the context in the introduction clearer. she was discriminated and maltreated on the ranch so this reflects how she would be treated during the Great Depression. Again you've shown no evidence of this.

    She wore shoes with ‘red ostrich feathers’, the connotations of the word ‘red’ suggests: lust, passion and intensity however, it also suggests danger, violence and blood. Since Ostriches are birds that cannot fly, Steinbeck could be portraying her as a woman who is stuck in Soledad, and cannot escape from there because she is a woman who is seen as inferior to the other (This is the second time you have mentioned 'other men', but you haven't discussed any men for them to be 'other' to. You are accidentally implying that Curly's wife is a man.) men on the ranch. The readers feel apologetic (try sympathetic or empathetic) towards her because she had a dream but it was unattainable due to the fact that she was a woman living in a prejudiced society. Steinbeck is criticising the American dream because he believes that it was unachievable for a woman in a sexist society. You've strayed quite far from the text here. Remember to keep your points rooted in close, textual analysis.

    Curley’s wife is described as ‘jail bait’ because she uses her sexuality and beauty as a weapon. In some ways she is more powerful than the men because she is the only woman, so she can use her power to attract men. Her being described as ‘bait’ suggests that her only use is to lure people into a trap, baits too are feeble and eventually die. You need to clarify this. At first you imply she is in control and manipulates the men, then you say she is 'feeble' and being used. Read that last sentence through thoroughly and make sure you know what you are trying to say. Steinbeck could be foreshadowing events. She lures Lennie into her trap and he eventually dies.You need to expand on this, it shouldn't just be a throw away point. The subject of the next sentence seems entirely different - you could rearrange your writing to make it flow better and justify both sections being in the same paragraph. Curley’s wife uses her eyes to exert her power on the men. She uses her eyes to lure men into her trap too ‘her eyes travelled from one face to another’, while this quote does mention eyes, it does not support your point. Candy and Crooks avoid her gaze but Lennie ‘watched her fascinated’ by them and not scared by her power but instead trapped by it. Lennie eventually died You've said this already. His death could show that Curley’s wife was nothing but a nuisance. Why? Where did this come from? The readers do not feel sorry for Curley’s wife as she is a troublesome character and catalyses dangerous events in the novella. The idea that she is a catalyst could be expanded on.

    Steinbeck uses the theme of loneliness to create sympathy for Curley’s wife; being the only woman on a ranch in the 1930’s was very lonely as the men saw her as inferior and less important. So the only way she can get the attention she craves is through her sexuality otherwise the men would not talk to her. She is trapped in a loveless marriage, Curley and his wife are not actually seen together until the end of the novella and when she is dead he offers no companionship at all. Is this what you really mean? After all why would he show companionship to a corpse. He does not even touch her when she dies. Slim ‘explored her neck’, showing that Slim offers more emotion to Curley’s wife, even though Curley is married to her. Rewrite that sentence. The readers feel sorry for her because she must have been so depressed in her marriage because no love was shown to her by her husband, therefore this must have caused to her to seek the attention of other men. If Curley had shown her more compassion she would not be as interested in Lennie so she would not be dead. In a way, Curley is responsible for the death of his wife.Where is your evidence? She is aware that ‘they all went’, ‘even Curley’, to a brothel. Maybe talking to other men on the ranch is a method her destroying her relationship by disobeying his order, not to talk to the other men on the ranch. What are you trying to say here? This could be revenge for treating her inadequately. The fact that Curley has to get intimate with other women when he is married makes the reader feel very sorry for her because the whole point of marriage is commitment and he is not abiding by his promise.This is very informal here; remember it's an essay. She gets ‘awful lonely’ even though she is married. That she has the confidence to tell Lennie that she is lonely must show severity of her isolation. The word ‘awful’ suggests that the loneliness is unbearable and she desire for some consideration. Or it's just part of her verncular. She has the life that Lennie, George and Candy want to achieve through their American dream. Do you mean she has achieved the American Dream? It is a thing to attain, rather than a method of attainment. This is ironic What is? That she is unhappy? as she has house that she does not want to live in and finical support therefore she never has to work again, whereas Lennie, George and Candy do not. Yet she is still not content, she wants human companionship. ‘Glove fulla Vaseline’ suggest that Curley is only with Curley’s wife for physical desire not emotional purposes.This feels like a random sentence that you couldn't find anywhere to put.

    The fact that Curley’s wife does not have a name shows her insignificance on the ranch. This should go earlier in the essay.The apostrophe shows that she belongs to Curley as his possession.No. The apostrophe is a necessary part of the language - the fact that she is only referred to in relation to men/a man is what objectifies her. Interesting side note: in Old English there was no word for 'woman', women were simply described by their relation to men e.g. wife, sister, daughter. *If you were to include that in your essay you would have to find a viable source to quote* This is also a sign of male oppression in the 1930’s. The readers feel sorry for her as she is not seen as an individual but an object; this makes the reader distressed you're assuming something about the reader here as she is a human being who deserves respect and equality. Also the ‘glove fulla Vaseline’ demonstrates that Curley is showing off to the other men on the ranch. He is portraying *change this* it as a trophy. This makes the reader feel angry see previous point; you've done this thoughout the essay. Try to find a different way to word it. because something that intimate is meant to be kept private why is it intimate? How is he 'broadcasting' it? not broadcast to the whole world and this makes them pity Curley’s wife as she cannot do anything about the situation because Curley wont not listen to her. In Curley’s wife's final moments ‘Lennie’s other hand closed around her mouth’, this could be symbolic for men trying to silence women during this period of time. Why is Lennie a symbol and not just scared he will be caught? If you don't qualify this, then it could also be a symbol for "how men are always scared" or something else. The reader feels sorry for Curley’s wife as she is not listened to by men on the ranch. This is similar for the life of a woman in America during the 1930’s.
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    (Original post by JackS94)
    I've gone through it with green and red. Green are issues with content or argument, red is spelling/grammar. I've been quite thorough, I think, and I generally mark to quite a high standard so don't be disheartened by any comments. I'm a uni student so I'm a little out of touch with the level expected at GCSE/A-level, but I'd give this a low-mid C.
    Your main issue is a lack of close textual analysis. You have a tendency to put a quote at the beginning of a paragraph and then stray into subjectivity and conjecture. Watch this. Keep referring to the text and find evidence for the points you make.
    Overall you seem to repeat yourself quite a bit. Try to avoid just having one paragraph where people do sympathise with her, and one where they don't over and over again. Highlight contrasts as part of your analysis. What do they show?
    Also, you need a conclusion. You need to pull all of your points together and answer the question once and for all.

    Remember :
    Woman is singular, women is plural.
    Cannot is one word.
    Always, always proof read.

    For your next draft, I recommend you plan it thoroughly so you know what you're going to write, and how that fits in with your wider argument.

    Hope this is helpful! Feel free to PM me for any clarification/further help!

    And on the whole, not a bad job

    p.s. Sorry if the green is hard to see.

    The novella ‘Of Mice and Men’ was written by John Steinbeck during the Great Depression of the 1930’s. The Great Depression was a period of hardship for the majority of people in America as the country was experiencing an economic depression. (Should I write about George and Lennie being migrant workers or just focus the introduction on Curley’s wife) To be honest I don't really see the relevance of the context you've included here. Curley’s wife is the only woman on the ranch, and is frequently discriminated against by the other men who live in the bunk house. Steinbeck uses the themes of loneliness to make the reader feel sympathy for her. Women in America were still seen as inferior to the men.Do you have a source for this? Someone (a critic) you can quote? That would make your introduction stronger.


    Steinbeck uses metaphors to create a sense of desperation through the character ‘Curley’s wife’.You've already referred to her without the inverted commas, why start now? Steinbeck describes Curley’s wife's hair as ‘rolled [in] clusters like sausages’.[R]olled’ and ‘clusters’ suggest the vast amount of time and effort she spent attempting to make her hair look elaborate. During the readers first introduction to Curley’s wife we can see that she is obviously deeply concerned with her appearance and how other people perceive her, otherwise she would have not spent so much time trying to make her hair look appealing. The readers pity Curley’s wife as she is so insecure about her appearance that she has to spend so much time on making herself look presentable. However, her hair being illustrated as sausages This could be clearer. implies that her hair looks unattractive as sausages are fat and greasy with a mushy texture.I've wouldn't describe sausages as mushy, myself. This next sentence doesn't really follow; you've gone from having sausage hair to looking good. It seems like you put the sausage bit in as an afterthought. Curley’s wife is determined to make herself look good. The reader can deduce that Curley’s wife craves attention because she would not have spent that much time doing her hair if it was not to get someone’s attention. The reader feels sympathy for her (or sympathetic towards her) as she yearns for attention. You've repeated yourself here.

    Steinbeck presents Curley’s wife to the readers as a very sexual and promiscuous character. Her face was ‘heavily made up’; she is attempting to make herself look elegant because she is obsessed (infatuated has too much of a nuanced meaning) with how people perceive her. However, she could have also plastered the heavy makeup on her face to hide the true, genuine self. She wears her makeup as a façade. She could be embarrassed to show the true her self so she has to cover it up so she can feel more confident.Your sentence runs on a bit with 'so's here. Is there any actual evidence of this? From her conversation? This paragraph seems very similar to the last one.The readers feel pitiful for her because she is unconfident and has to use her make up as a mask to conceal her true identity. You haven't shown this. Her face could also be ‘heavily made up’ because she could be in an abusive relationship. The readers are aware that Curley is a fighter, he could abuse her and she has to cover her scars so people don’t notice that she is in an abusive relationship. (Do I need to back this up with extra information? Yes, otherwise it's just speculation) This creates a sense of sympathy because she is in a broken relationship, where she is being neglected. She cannot leave the relationship as she has nowhere to go, since she is a woman in a male dominated society (try 'unforgiving patriarchal society, or something). Since the ranch is a microcosm of America in the 1930’s, Is it? It is here that it would have been beneficial to make the context in the introduction clearer. she was discriminated and maltreated on the ranch so this reflects how she would be treated during the Great Depression. Again you've shown no evidence of this.

    She wore shoes with ‘red ostrich feathers’, the connotations of the word ‘red’ suggests: lust, passion and intensity however, it also suggests danger, violence and blood. Since Ostriches are birds that cannot fly, Steinbeck could be portraying her as a woman who is stuck in Soledad, and cannot escape from there because she is a woman who is seen as inferior to the other (This is the second time you have mentioned 'other men', but you haven't discussed any men for them to be 'other' to. You are accidentally implying that Curly's wife is a man.) men on the ranch. The readers feel apologetic (try sympathetic or empathetic) towards her because she had a dream but it was unattainable due to the fact that she was a woman living in a prejudiced society. Steinbeck is criticising the American dream because he believes that it was unachievable for a woman in a sexist society. You've strayed quite far from the text here. Remember to keep your points rooted in close, textual analysis.

    Curley’s wife is described as ‘jail bait’ because she uses her sexuality and beauty as a weapon. In some ways she is more powerful than the men because she is the only woman, so she can use her power to attract men. Her being described as ‘bait’ suggests that her only use is to lure people into a trap, baits too are feeble and eventually die. You need to clarify this. At first you imply she is in control and manipulates the men, then you say she is 'feeble' and being used. Read that last sentence through thoroughly and make sure you know what you are trying to say. Steinbeck could be foreshadowing events. She lures Lennie into her trap and he eventually dies.You need to expand on this, it shouldn't just be a throw away point. The subject of the next sentence seems entirely different - you could rearrange your writing to make it flow better and justify both sections being in the same paragraph. Curley’s wife uses her eyes to exert her power on the men. She uses her eyes to lure men into her trap too ‘her eyes travelled from one face to another’, while this quote does mention eyes, it does not support your point. Candy and Crooks avoid her gaze but Lennie ‘watched her fascinated’ by them and not scared by her power but instead trapped by it. Lennie eventually died You've said this already. His death could show that Curley’s wife was nothing but a nuisance. Why? Where did this come from? The readers do not feel sorry for Curley’s wife as she is a troublesome character and catalyses dangerous events in the novella. The idea that she is a catalyst could be expanded on.

    Steinbeck uses the theme of loneliness to create sympathy for Curley’s wife; being the only woman on a ranch in the 1930’s was very lonely as the men saw her as inferior and less important. So the only way she can get the attention she craves is through her sexuality otherwise the men would not talk to her. She is trapped in a loveless marriage, Curley and his wife are not actually seen together until the end of the novella and when she is dead he offers no companionship at all. Is this what you really mean? After all why would he show companionship to a corpse. He does not even touch her when she dies. Slim ‘explored her neck’, showing that Slim offers more emotion to Curley’s wife, even though Curley is married to her. Rewrite that sentence. The readers feel sorry for her because she must have been so depressed in her marriage because no love was shown to her by her husband, therefore this must have caused to her to seek the attention of other men. If Curley had shown her more compassion she would not be as interested in Lennie so she would not be dead. In a way, Curley is responsible for the death of his wife.Where is your evidence? She is aware that ‘they all went’, ‘even Curley’, to a brothel. Maybe talking to other men on the ranch is a method her destroying her relationship by disobeying his order, not to talk to the other men on the ranch. What are you trying to say here? This could be revenge for treating her inadequately. The fact that Curley has to get intimate with other women when he is married makes the reader feel very sorry for her because the whole point of marriage is commitment and he is not abiding by his promise.This is very informal here; remember it's an essay. She gets ‘awful lonely’ even though she is married. That she has the confidence to tell Lennie that she is lonely must show severity of her isolation. The word ‘awful’ suggests that the loneliness is unbearable and she desire for some consideration. Or it's just part of her verncular. She has the life that Lennie, George and Candy want to achieve through their American dream. Do you mean she has achieved the American Dream? It is a thing to attain, rather than a method of attainment. This is ironic What is? That she is unhappy? as she has house that she does not want to live in and finical support therefore she never has to work again, whereas Lennie, George and Candy do not. Yet she is still not content, she wants human companionship. ‘Glove fulla Vaseline’ suggest that Curley is only with Curley’s wife for physical desire not emotional purposes.This feels like a random sentence that you couldn't find anywhere to put.

    The fact that Curley’s wife does not have a name shows her insignificance on the ranch. This should go earlier in the essay.The apostrophe shows that she belongs to Curley as his possession.No. The apostrophe is a necessary part of the language - the fact that she is only referred to in relation to men/a man is what objectifies her. Interesting side note: in Old English there was no word for 'woman', women were simply described by their relation to men e.g. wife, sister, daughter. *If you were to include that in your essay you would have to find a viable source to quote* This is also a sign of male oppression in the 1930’s. The readers feel sorry for her as she is not seen as an individual but an object; this makes the reader distressed you're assuming something about the reader here as she is a human being who deserves respect and equality. Also the ‘glove fulla Vaseline’ demonstrates that Curley is showing off to the other men on the ranch. He is portraying *change this* it as a trophy. This makes the reader feel angry see previous point; you've done this thoughout the essay. Try to find a different way to word it. because something that intimate is meant to be kept private why is it intimate? How is he 'broadcasting' it? not broadcast to the whole world and this makes them pity Curley’s wife as she cannot do anything about the situation because Curley wont not listen to her. In Curley’s wife's final moments ‘Lennie’s other hand closed around her mouth’, this could be symbolic for men trying to silence women during this period of time. Why is Lennie a symbol and not just scared he will be caught? If you don't qualify this, then it could also be a symbol for "how men are always scared" or something else. The reader feels sorry for Curley’s wife as she is not listened to by men on the ranch. This is similar for the life of a woman in America during the 1930’s.

    what grade would you give this now that you have corrected it?
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    Here's a good tip, we're actually studying omam and in our exam it was confirmed that we wouldn't have hours to write this essay. Our teacher helps us write in a much more succinct way, there by increasing quality. Quality beats quantity and by writing tons of facts without supporting them or just randomly repeating them is futile. Focus on the question and your point, don't go off topic.
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    hi,

    if you want help i could send you my essay on OMM. i got a high A on it so it might be a good example. if you do want me to send the doc just reply with your email.
 
 
 
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