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    Walk or get intimate?
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    Um... hm........ well she's not happy in her current relationship clearly but it'd certainly be better if she dumped the poor bloke first.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    Um... hm........ well she's not happy in her current relationship clearly but it'd certainly be better if she dumped the poor bloke first.
    I agree. I think when push comes to shove she won't act on what 'makes her happy' though.
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    Walk away. I mean you can get in there physically and all if you wish but she won't be good after that break-up. You may end up becoming the fall back. The filler. The attention she needs whilst she moves on. I wouldn't expect any lasting or intense relationship to evolve.

    I've been in a similar position, not everyone is the same but you can't expect someone in a long-term relationship to just wipe the slate and go again.

    Plus you don't love her. You're attracted/infatuated with her. You can't love someone you've not been 1. with 2. for an extended period of time. You most probably love the idea of her and what could be.
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    (Original post by Blind Ferret)
    Walk away. I mean you can get in there physically and all if you wish but she won't be good after that break-up. You may end up becoming the fall back. The filler. The attention she needs whilst she moves on. I wouldn't expect any lasting or intense relationship to evolve.

    I've been in a similar position, not everyone is the same but you can't expect someone in a long-term relationship to just wipe the slate and go again.

    Plus you don't love her. You're attracted/infatuated with her. You can't love someone you've not been 1. with 2. for an extended period of time. You most probably love the idea of her and what could be.
    Thanks for your reply.

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    Omg are you actually serious. So what if she dumps you at a later stage, let her use you!!! Let her have her fun with you, have sex with her! Goodness sake, how can you turn down this golden chance!!! There are no two ways about this. Just do it man.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    Omg are you actually serious. So what if she dumps you at a later stage, let her use you!!! Let her have her fun with you, have sex with her! Goodness sake, how can you turn down this golden chance!!! There are no two ways about this. Just do it man.

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    If I just wanted sex, id have succeeded by now. Thats completely missing the point of this. I can turn down this golden chance because there's easier and even more attractive chances out there to be frank!
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    (Original post by Adipoptosis)
    If I just wanted sex, id have succeeded by now. Thats completely missing the point of this. I can turn down this golden chance because there's easier and even more attractive chances out there to be frank!
    Wow... you lucky guy. Well, if it's that easy for you to get sex, then why don't you pursue this avenue further? Clearly it won't be for sex... But you say that you love her, so you feel very strongly about her. And she's showing very strong interest in you as well, she likes spending time with you and talking to you, she definitely wants more and expects more from you, otherwise she would not be telling you that she's lonely and not feeling happy with her boyfriend, she wants you bad (and I don't say that often). She's waiting for you to assert yourself, which is what you should be doing. Her boyfriend is not doing his job, he's not there for his woman and not taking care of her properly. You need to convince her to break it off with him, I'm sure if you invite her to a private place and have a long, intimate chat with her, you'll be able to easily convince her to leave him. It depends on how strongly you feel about her and how much you want her. If you're serious, then I highly doubt she'd change her mind, she would have no reason to and you would have no trouble in acquiring her. So now is the time to either pursue this and go all the way, or cut bait. If she doesn't accept your terms, then you can always find other girls to have sex with. It's a win-win-win. Lucky guy you are.

    Just let me add, if you're worried that she's just going to use you and then leave, then don't. It's up to YOU to make sure this doesn't happen. Lock her down fast, make her happy, be there for her, take care of her and look after her. Make sure you're always there when she needs to. Take her out, buy her a gift, do something fun together, whatever it takes. Like I said, it depends on how much you want it. "Love" is a very strong word, if you do love her then you must show it. Make her feel it. Good luck.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    Wow... you lucky guy. Well, if it's that easy for you to get sex, then why don't you pursue this avenue further? Clearly it won't be for sex... But you say that you love her, so you feel very strongly about her. And she's showing very strong interest in you as well, she likes spending time with you and talking to you, she definitely wants more and expects more from you, otherwise she would not be telling you that she's lonely and not feeling happy with her boyfriend, she wants you bad (and I don't say that often). She's waiting for you to assert yourself, which is what you should be doing. Her boyfriend is not doing his job, he's not there for his woman and not taking care of her properly. You need to convince her to break it off with him, I'm sure if you invite her to a private place and have a long, intimate chat with her, you'll be able to easily convince her to leave him. It depends on how strongly you feel about her and how much you want her. If you're serious, then I highly doubt she'd change her mind, she would have no reason to send you would have no trouble in acquiring her. So now is the time to either pursue this and go all the way, or cut bait. If she doesn't accept your terms, then you can always find other girls to have sex with. It's a win-win-win. Lucky guy you are.

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    Trust me it doesn't feel that way at the moment!
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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    I

    Wow... you lucky guy. Well, if it's that easy for you to get sex, then why don't you pursue this avenue further? Clearly it won't be for sex... But you say that you love her, so you feel very strongly about her. And she's showing very strong interest in you as well, she likes spending time with you and talking to you, she definitely wants more and expects more from you, otherwise she would not be telling you that she's lonely and not feeling happy with her boyfriend, she wants you bad (and I don't say that often). She's waiting for you to assert yourself, which is what you should be doing. Her boyfriend is not doing his job, he's not there for his woman and not taking care of her properly. You need to convince her to break it off with him, I'm sure if you invite her to a private place and have a long, intimate chat with her, you'll be able to easily convince her to leave him. It depends on how strongly you feel about her and how much you want her. If you're serious, then I highly doubt she'd change her mind, she would have no reason to send you would have no trouble in acquiring her. So now is the time to either pursue this and go all the way, or cut bait. If she doesn't accept your terms, then you can always find other girls to have sex with. It's a win-win-win. Lucky guy you are.

    Just let me add, if you're worried that she's just going to use you and then leave, then don't. It's up to YOU to make sure this doesn't happen. Lock her down fast, make her happy, be there for her, take care of her and look after her. Make sure you're always there when she needs to. Take her out, buy her a gift, do something fun together, whatever it takes. Like I said, it depends on how much you want it. "Love" is a very strong word, if you do love her then you must show it. Make her feel it. Good luck.

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    Yeh I agree with that too. It does come down to how likely she is to leave her super rich banker boyfriend despite my best efforts though... Even though I want to have faith that i'll succeed, it is really quite difficult.

    Thanks so much for your help
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    (Original post by Adipoptosis)
    Trust me it doesn't feel that way at the moment!

    Yeh I really want her to make some kind of commitment and have some plans in place about breaking it off with her boyfriend.

    May be she just wants to see how good I am in bed? I dunno.

    Tomorrow night is our first time meeting in a private place. Im gonna keep bringing up the issue.
    So you think she just wants sex? This seems highly unlikely. You know her better than anyone else on TSR does. But even if that's the case, I don't see why you should hesitate, you should still go for it and give her some amazing sex, that'll only help towards locking her down. The way you described it, it sounds like she wants that to happen. Like I said before, if you want her, then you have to do all of what I said. Don't just go along with whatever she says, you should be actively talking about whether she's gonna make plans to leave him. Even if she feels guilty now, trust me, she will change her mind after a night of passion and sweet talking.

    In case there's no sex, if she just wants to talk, then that's fine too. Ball's in your court, you gotta make it happen. It's your job as a man to make her see sense. Be firm and assertive.

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    (Original post by Adipoptosis)
    Yeh I agree with that too. It does come down to how likely she is to leave her super rich banker boyfriend despite my best efforts though... Even though I want to have faith that i'll succeed, it is really quite difficult.

    Thanks so much for your help
    I doubt her boyfriend's financial status will be a major influencing factor in her decision whether or not to leave him (unless money is very important to her, more important than being happy in her relationship). It comes down to whether she can see herself staying in a relationship where she feels lonely, abandoned and unhappy. You've gotta be pushy (to a reasonable extent). Just try your best, then you'll have no regrets and you'll know that at least you tried your very best.

    It's not difficult man, just go out there and show her a good time buy some new clothes, get a haircut and all that.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    I doubt her boyfriend's financial status will be a major influencing factor in her decision whether or not to leave him (unless money is very important to her, more important than being happy in her relationship). It comes down to whether she can see herself staying in a relationship where she feels lonely, abandoned and unhappy. You've gotta be pushy (to a reasonable extent). Just try your best, then you'll have no regrets and you'll know that at least you tried your very best.

    It's not difficult man, just go out there and show her a good time buy some new clothes, get a haircut and all that.

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    yhh
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    (Original post by Adipoptosis)
    Yeah you're right, I don't normally settle for doing things half-arsed and I think because there's another person's relationship involved, I seem to be approaching it all with too much caution. Ill give it my best shot.

    Spent about two hours in Selfridges Bullring today
    A fellow Brummie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great choice going with selfridges. Don't be overly cautious, make sure you say all what you want to say. She's ripe for the picking, all the signs are pointing in the right direction. She just needs to be told what to do, ie leave her current boyfriend.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    A fellow Brummie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great choice going with selfridges. Don't be overly cautious, make sure you say all what you want to say. She's ripe for the picking, all the signs are pointing in the right direction. She just needs to be told what to do, ie leave her current boyfriend.

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    It all ended in tears

    I just told her I'm not interested anymore because she wouldn't even entertain the possibility of leaving her boyfriend. She then accused me of 'wasting her time'.
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    (Original post by Adipoptosis)
    It all ended in tears

    I just told her I'm not interested anymore because she wouldn't even entertain the possibility of leaving her boyfriend. She then accused me of 'wasting her time'.

    I guess in 5 years of being alone she's learnt how to make boys fall for her
    Damn... I'm really sorry to hear that man. I did not see that coming, from everything you've described, it just seemed like it was going to go the other way. At least you tried your best, you talked about it, there's no point chasing someone who's not willing to leave her partner to be with you. And it's a good thing you chose to 'end it', maybe it's better that you told her you're not interested before taking things any further. She's the one who wasted your time. Maybe she just wanted attention because she wasn't getting it from her man, or maybe she was confused or bored. I don't know, I can't make sense of it. So what will you do now? Are you not going to pursue her anymore and try to find someone else?

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    Damn... I'm really sorry to hear that man. I did not see that coming, from everything you've described, it just seemed like it was going to go the other way. At least you tried your best, you talked about it, there's no point chasing someone who's not willing to leave her partner to be with you. And it's a good thing you chose to 'end it', maybe it's better that you told her you're not interested before taking things any further. She's the one who wasted your time. Maybe she just wanted attention because she wasn't getting it from her man, or maybe she was confused or bored. I don't know, I can't make sense of it. So what will you do now? Are you not going to pursue her anymore and try to find someone else?

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    I don't know, I think I'll just avoid her now. I was never really looking for anyone tbh, she just kinda happened to appear in my life and now she's gone I'm happy just to stay single for now.
 
 
 
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