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Does anyone know about HPV and how long it stays in the body/ what my risks are? Watch

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    I'm 27 (female) and am seeing a man in his late 40's. He has never been married and has had a lot of sexual partners through his life -likely unprotected sex as he wanted to have it with me (irresponsible I know but that's not my point). I don't think he had had sex for a year though, he has been seeing me for months we haven't had sex yet.

    Im scared of getting an sti. I would always use a condom but what I mainly worried about is HPV since this can be caught with protection even. I'm too old to get vaccinated even though I've never had sex before. What I want to know though is how does hpv infection work..I mean it's likely he has had lots of strains of it (low risk and high risk) in his past so does this mean I will be at risk of catching all these hpv strains from him? Or will he likely have cleared most hpv strains if he hasn't had sex in 6 months? It's ok for him, I'm a 'clean' virgin but he could have caught all sorts in his past lol.

    They don't test for hpv so I'm just trying to protect myself. Is his sexual history a good enough reason to refuse sex with him? Or am I over worrying? I'm concerned about the risk of cervical cancer and oral cancer from hpv in particular because I use a steroid nasal spray all year round (nasonex) which might lower my oral immunity/make me less likely to clear hpv.. Just a thought but I've been worrying about it.
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    Anyone know, any medics on here who might have an idea lol..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think he had had sex for a year though, he has been seeing me for months we haven't had sex yet.
    Have you asked about whether he's seeing / being sexual with anyone else? If I had to bet, I'd be putting my money on 'yes'.

    Im scared of getting an sti. I would always use a condom but what I mainly worried about is HPV since this can be caught with protection even. I'm too old to get vaccinated even though I've never had sex before. What I want to know though is how does hpv infection work..I mean it's likely he has had lots of strains of it (low risk and high risk) in his past so does this mean I will be at risk of catching all these hpv strains from him? Or will he likely have cleared most hpv strains if he hasn't had sex in 6 months? It's ok for him, I'm a 'clean' virgin but he could have caught all sorts in his past lol.
    Have you tried talking to a sexual health clinic about being vaccinated? Given your virginity, they may or may not think it's a good idea. Either way, for cervical cancer, smear tests are your friend, and if you smoke or drink, you have far bigger risks for oral cancers there.

    Usually the body gets rid of a HPV infection by itself, but sometimes it doesn't. Whoever discovers why and how to get rid of them in everyone is going to win prizes or become rather rich or, most likely, both.

    They don't test for hpv so I'm just trying to protect myself. Is his sexual history a good enough reason to refuse sex with him? Or am I over worrying? I'm concerned about the risk of cervical cancer and oral cancer from hpv in particular because I use a steroid nasal spray all year round (nasonex) which might lower my oral immunity/make me less likely to clear hpv..
    Everyone has their own place on the risk / reward scale, so only you know if it's a good enough reason or if you're over worrying.

    Do you actually want to have sex with him?

    Personally, I would be a bit concerned that the sex you want to have (with a condom) doesn't seem to be the sort he would like to have (without).
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    Have you asked about whether he's seeing / being sexual with anyone else? If I had to bet, I'd be putting my money on 'yes'.



    Have you tried talking to a sexual health clinic about being vaccinated? Given your virginity, they may or may not think it's a good idea. Either way, for cervical cancer, smear tests are your friend, and if you smoke or drink, you have far bigger risks for oral cancers there.

    Usually the body gets rid of a HPV infection by itself, but sometimes it doesn't. Whoever discovers why and how to get rid of them in everyone is going to win prizes or become rather rich or, most likely, both.



    Everyone has their own place on the risk / reward scale, so only you know if it's a good enough reason or if you're over worrying.

    Do you actually want to have sex with him?

    Personally, I would be a bit concerned that the sex you want to have (with a condom) doesn't seem to be the sort he would like to have (without).
    He sees me most days /nights so I would have to be extremely cynical to think that he was seeing someone else

    I suppose Im wondering whereabouts i stand on the risk benefit scale compared with others...with him having had many sexual partners during his life. Im unsure if if more towards the 'risk taker' end or the hypochondriac end. I would insist on him using a condom thats a no brainer for me, in fact i bought some extra safe durex ones just in case lol.

    I want to try sex with him (otherwise he wont want a relationship and i do!) but Ive just not decided whether its worth the health risks. I just think to myself im nice and clean now and it would be a shame to get infected with something lol.
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    Wait and get to know him better. It might feel exciting right now and worth the risk but if it all falls apart in the next few months, you could look back and regret things. You're unlikely to get an hpv vaccination, possibly better chance out with the nhs. I would consider asking him to get tested for the usual suspects before you have sex together...and consider researching hpv tests (not currently offered by nhs I don't think).


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    (Original post by whisper2012)
    Wait and get to know him better. It might feel exciting right now and worth the risk but if it all falls apart in the next few months, you could look back and regret things. You're unlikely to get an hpv vaccination, possibly better chance out with the nhs. I would consider asking him to get tested for the usual suspects before you have sex together...and consider researching hpv tests (not currently offered by nhs I don't think).


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    Ive known him for 8 years through sports and we have been close for the past 4 months, officially a couple for 3 months. I do want to wait but I don't know any relationships where the man would be willing to wait all this time for sex. Unfortunately I do have feelings for him Shame about the hpv vaccine as I've refrained for sex all this time so would probably benefit just as a younger person would, expecially if I'm having sex with someone who has been around the block several times. I think using protection would be as sufficient as getting tested with regards to the main sti's ( I think getting tested at this stage would come across as bit over the top to him) but hpv just seems unavoidable, I'm wondering how many strains of it he will have or if he has likely got rid of them after months with no sex : / Sounds like I'm thinking too much into it but I'm always like this when it comes to health.
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    HPV is really common. The chances are that if you are sexually active, you probably have it. (3/4 of women get it in their life time)
    It is not usually a problem.

    I will be more worried about HIV..etc.
    Unprotected sex when you are not married or in a serious long term relationship should be avoided at all cost!


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    (Original post by lamipe)
    HPV is really common. The chances are that if you are sexually active, you probably have it. (3/4 of women get it in their life time)
    It is not usually a problem.

    I will be more worried about HIV..etc.
    Unprotected sex when you are not married or in a serious long term relationship should be avoided at all cost!


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    Yea of course I'd always insist on protection to avoid hiv etc. The reason I'm worried about hpv is because it can be caught even with protection and this man has had many sexual partners in his life along with unprotected sex, therefore he has likely come into contact with an high risk hpv strain. I don't think he has had sex in a year though so I was wondering how long does it take hpv strains to clear. Or once someone is infected are they usually always contagious to another?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yea of course I'd always insist on protection to avoid hiv etc. The reason I'm worried about hpv is because it can be caught even with protection and this man has had many sexual partners in his life along with unprotected sex, therefore he has likely come into contact with an high risk hpv strain. I don't think he has had sex in a year though so I was wondering how long does it take hpv strains to clear. Or once someone is infected are they usually always contagious to another?
    http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/2611.aspx

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He sees me most days /nights so I would have to be extremely cynical to think that he was seeing someone else
    Cynical is one of my middle names... but it would be unusual for someone who has had lots of partners to go 'no, I just want one... who's not being sexual with me'.

    If nothing else, have you talked about your expectations around this relationship in terms of monogamy etc? What's the longest he's ever been monogamous for?

    I suppose Im wondering whereabouts i stand on the risk benefit scale compared with others...with him having had many sexual partners during his life. Im unsure if if more towards the 'risk taker' end or the hypochondriac end. I would insist on him using a condom thats a no brainer for me, in fact i bought some extra safe durex ones just in case lol.
    The 'extra safe' bit is mostly marketing. What matters more in terms of minimising condom problems is putting them on correctly and using a good lube.

    I want to try sex with him (otherwise he wont want a relationship and i do!) but Ive just not decided whether its worth the health risks. I just think to myself im nice and clean now and it would be a shame to get infected with something lol.
    When you interact with people generally, you put yourself at risk of things like 'flu and all sorts of interesting other viruses and bacteria.

    'He'd leave if I don't' is not a good reason to have sex with someone.
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