Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been thinking a lot lately about how I feel about sex. I'm not a virgin, and have had two partners, one of whom I was only with once (had a crush on him through senior year, lost it to him a couple weeks after graduation and that was that) and then my long distance (and very 1st!) bf whom I started seeing a few months after guy one (we had sex maybe 6ish times, it wasn't super enjoyable for me).
    I definitely feel I haven't really "come into" my sexuality. Not that I'm questioning it, but part of me feels like I was never ready to have sex, and I've never had the opportunity to work up to it in a relationship as I kind of what-the-heck did it with my ex when we first got together.
    I don't know when I'll next date since I'll hopefully be transferring to a new school, and so I'm sort of biding my time until then. But I worry it'll be hard to find a guy who's understanding to my situation, me not being a virgin but still not feeling confident and feeling inexperienced. A couple months ago I was somewhat taken advantage of by someone, it was partially me not being assertive enough but also him being a drunken a**. That kind of hardened me and maybe even is making me a little fearful of being intimate again.
    And then I have additional insecurities about whether I will even enjoy sex as I didn't really with my ex ( my 1st time was actually pretty good) but I wonder if it's a chemistry thing and what if I met a guy who I liked but the chemistry sexually wasn't there? I could go into detail but it's a bit explicit for this forum....
    And advice welcome, thanks
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Also I'm a 20yo female.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds to me like you're thinking too much into it, considering your situation I'm not surprised. Perhaps you've just not met the right guy yet, I've been with women where it's just not been right (even after a few times) and also where the chemistry has been amazing from day one.

    At the end of the day if you're honest with whoever it is you want to be with then if they're the right person they'll understand and put you at ease. Being with someone is all about learning each other and enjoying what each other has to offer (sexually and not!).

    To answer your question, yes, guys can be understanding. But they can also be complete dicks, which you've already found out.

    Hope this helps at all
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DanEXERT)
    Sounds to me like you're thinking too much into it, considering your situation I'm not surprised. Perhaps you've just not met the right guy yet, I've been with women where it's just not been right (even after a few times) and also where the chemistry has been amazing from day one.

    At the end of the day if you're honest with whoever it is you want to be with then if they're the right person they'll understand and put you at ease. Being with someone is all about learning each other and enjoying what each other has to offer (sexually and not!).

    To answer your question, yes, guys can be understanding. But they can also be complete dicks, which you've already found out.

    Hope this helps at all

    Thank you for your kind words
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for your kind words
    Just saying how I see it
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 20, 2015
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.