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Could he get into trouble?

The situation is that I am now an 18 year old girl at uni and last year whilst at college I grew attracted to a new male teacher. Now he never taught me but nevertheless we talked quite a bit and got to know each other. He was aware of the fact that I fancied him but we never talked about it explicitly. Once I left we stayed in contact as we had exchanged email addresses and numbers. We've met up twice since September but the conversation has just been that of friends. However I now get the feeling that as we grow closer as friends we might be able to become more than friends which I'd really love to happen. He's single at the moment and so am I so there would be no problems there. He's also only 30 so just 12 years older than me.

I just wanted to know if he may get into trouble with either the law or the college if something were to happen between us. As two years ago there were rumous about a girl in our college having a relationship with a member of staff and the guy was suspended and a whole invetsigation carried out. The girl was 18 at the time but still a student and the guy HAD taught her. In the end the college had no evidence so the man was reinstated and she went off to uni. I just don't want this to happen to this guy.

Reply 1

Claire_Elizabeth

1

You have left college and now are at university! You're not in the college anymore so he can no longer be classed as your teacher!
So technically I dont think he could!
But im not sure I dont study law or anything!

Reply 2

Becca28

1

ONLY 12 yrs older????? thats a big age gap when you're that young. i dont know from a legal point of view but i would say there would be a lot of problems if anything did happen between you two. you were a student he was a teacher when you met and questions will be asked...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Becca28

ONLY 12 yrs older????? thats a big age gap when you're that young. i dont know from a legal point of view but i would say there would be a lot of problems if anything did happen between you two. you were a student he was a teacher when you met and questions will be asked...

I guess 12 years could be seen as quite a gap but I just don't feel it when we talk and stuff. And I have always gone for the older man from an early age. Not because I think all guys my age or immature and that, far from it actually in some cases, but because thats just the way I've always been.

Reply 4

la fille danse

17

Of course not. What could he possibly get in trouble for? Having a relationship with another adult of legal age?

Reply 5

Feefifofum

16

Even so, 12 years is a big age gap, when you're only 18.

Theoretically, it wouldn't be a crime for him to have a relationship with you, as long as nothing happened while he was your teacher. Now you're at uni, you are free to do anything you like with him.

Having said that, I would advise against it. It would look too good for him to be in a relationship with someone who is barely older than his pupils, especially if he first got to know that person in that capacity of a teacher. It may not be a crime, but it would certainly be frowned upon, and may affect his career should news get about. You ought to take your own welfare into account as well - how well do you really know this guy? I got on really well with several of my teachers, and have kept in touch, and feel I know them pretty well, but there's a big step between friendship and the kind of closeness I need to feel before I enter into a relationship with someone.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm glad to hear that as far as it goes law-wise he wouldn't get into trouble but I guess feefifofum DOES have a point of it maybe affecting him at work..........damn, I really wouldn't want to be the cause of putting him in a position where his job could be affected. I really feel as if something could be there but I wouldn't want to risk pursuing it if his job could be at risk. :frown:

feefifofum-- I know the guy pretty well now and am still getting to know him. We have a lot in common and understand each other really well. I feel pretty close to him already and have been getting closer as time passes.

Would his school have a legitimate reason of making an issue of this even if nothing happened at the time?

Reply 7

Viscount_L

From a legal point of view he can't get in to trouble. However, I don't think many people at the college would approve. Although you should not care what other people think, they may believe that your relationship started when you were at college, which could lead to trouble for him.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

damn, I know this sounds dumb but I never though that people would start thinking anything might have happened while I was still in college. They won't have any evidence that anything happened but I don't have any saying it didn't. So it would basically be a my word against theirs kinda thing.

Reply 9

Nonsmoking

12

Yeah, the school/authorities would have no interest in it legally, although the school might not be too happy that you were friendly with him while a pupil. Nuts to them though, and they can't do anything except FROWN.

Reply 10

username47781

20

I think alot of people would not approve, plus its a 12 year age gap and thats a big difference at 18. You are both at different stages in life

Reply 11

fundamentally

15

Anonymous

The situation is that I am now an 18 year old girl at uni and last year whilst at college I grew attracted to a new male teacher.

Wont really help his career.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Carl1982

I think alot of people would not approve, plus its a 12 year age gap and thats a big difference at 18. You are both at different stages in life

To be honest, there will always be people who don't approve of certain things and I really don't care. as long as we're happy and no one was being hurt by the relationship, I would be fine. I realise that we're at different stages in life but theres not much I can do about that. I didn't choose to become attracted to him and unfortunately these things happen.

Reply 13

Reue

20

Your 18, at uni, and still fancy him... GO FOR IT. Your protected legally wise as nothing happened while he was your teacher.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Same situation almost exactly, and the guy and I have talked about it, and as neither of us is now attending the school where we met everything is fine. All you have to worry about is that his friends may be people who taught you, and they make take issue with it, but there is no reason why you shouldnt give it a go if you both want to!

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

Same situation almost exactly, and the guy and I have talked about it, and as neither of us is now attending the school where we met everything is fine. All you have to worry about is that his friends may be people who taught you, and they make take issue with it, but there is no reason why you shouldnt give it a go if you both want to!

So glad to hear that its worked out for you. Shame that my guy is still at the place otherwise there wouldn't be an issue at all!

I'm really glad to see that a lot of people are saying go for it. the few friends I've confided in have been extremely against it and told me to forget about him. I've tried but just can't. Since starting uni I haven't been able to stop comparing all the guys I meet to him so I've given up on trying to forget him.

Reply 16

xxcalicoxx

One of my best mates is 23 and has been with her partner for 4 years. He was her teacher but they didnt get together until after she had left. They got married in August and are very happy, nothing was made of it at all. So I say go for it! :smile: