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    I'm 21 and I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to school. I used to be bullied pretty badly in school and even got to the point where I was tricked into believing someone wanted a relationship with me, only to be left waiting 2 hours and later being confessed to me that all it had been was a joke. Other than that, I have had the typical stuff with guys stopping me in the street and asking me to go out with them.

    With this being said, I have been falling for a fellow classmate since the beggining of the year. During our first lecture of the year, out of the blue he comes up to me and compliments my writing. Which I still found bizarre, but did not pay too much attention to it. However, around November or so I begin to crush pretty hard over him. While I am in no way obnoxious, I have already attempted to sit next to him and even going as far as telling him he had really pretty eyes (which believe me, he does, they are this forget-me-not blue that it is simply gorgeous).

    Moving on forward to last Thursday, I went out with a couple of my classmates and as I said my goodbyes to them with the usual hugs and all that, when I get to him, he motions me to extend my hand and he actually handkissed me. As corny as it sounds, it made me swoon pretty hardly. Maybe I am looking into it too much, but I just find it weird that he hugged everyone and suddenly he hankisses.

    A part of me wants to go and ask him out for a coffee but another part of me feels terrified of asking him out. I feel that I ould violating his personal space by asking that. Besides, if maybe I am looking to much into it I might push him away and I do really want to keep him as a friend if that happens.

    On top of that is the age difference. I am 21, he is 27 and already working (he is part-time, I am full-time) and while it is "only" 5 years and a half, I am afraid he will regard my feelings about him as a petty and silly as we are in such different stages of our lives.

    What should I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to school. I used to be bullied pretty badly in school and even got to the point where I was tricked into believing someone wanted a relationship with me, only to be left waiting 2 hours and later being confessed to me that all it had been was a joke. Other than that, I have had the typical stuff with guys stopping me in the street and asking me to go out with them.

    With this being said, I have been falling for a fellow classmate since the beggining of the year. During our first lecture of the year, out of the blue he comes up to me and compliments my writing. Which I still found bizarre, but did not pay too much attention to it. However, around November or so I begin to crush pretty hard over him. While I am in no way obnoxious, I have already attempted to sit next to him and even going as far as telling him he had really pretty eyes (which believe me, he does, they are this forget-me-not blue that it is simply gorgeous).

    Moving on forward to last Thursday, I went out with a couple of my classmates and as I said my goodbyes to them with the usual hugs and all that, when I get to him, he motions me to extend my hand and he actually handkissed me. As corny as it sounds, it made me swoon pretty hardly. Maybe I am looking into it too much, but I just find it weird that he hugged everyone and suddenly he hankisses.

    A part of me wants to go and ask him out for a coffee but another part of me feels terrified of asking him out. I feel that I ould violating his personal space by asking that. Besides, if maybe I am looking to much into it I might push him away and I do really want to keep him as a friend if that happens.

    On top of that is the age difference. I am 21, he is 27 and already working (he is part-time, I am full-time) and while it is "only" 5 years and a half, I am afraid he will regard my feelings about him as a petty and silly as we are in such different stages of our lives.

    What should I do?
    yes he's obviously dripping for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A part of me wants to go and ask him out for a coffee
    Just. Do. It.
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    There's no harm in asking him to coffee!
    (Unless, in the UK asking one to coffee always means something more?)
    If you were casual about it, like "We should get coffee and chat sometime!" then that sounds totally casual. Then, if he agreed that could spur future, more romantic endeavors...
    And I'd agree the hand kiss could suggest there's something more there.
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    (Original post by FCuKCHAZZ)
    yes he's obviously dripping for you
    (Original post by Simes)
    Just. Do. It.
    (Original post by D_ecrivaine)
    There's no harm in asking him to coffee!
    (Unless, in the UK asking one to coffee always means something more?)
    If you were casual about it, like "We should get coffee and chat sometime!" then that sounds totally casual. Then, if he agreed that could spur future, more romantic endeavors...
    And I'd agree the hand kiss could suggest there's something more there.
    I wouldn't go as far as say he is, but I am getting the vibes that he probably is. What holds me back are my own self-confidence issues (can't bear being around people for too long, overtly shy, etc.) as well as my appearance. I just don't think I am attractive or good looking enough to be with him. He is lean and just gorgeous (or maybe that's how I am seeing him).

    On top of that, yesterday we had finished our lectures and right after it there was a seminar. He and I are on different seminars for that class (we are in the same seminars for the rest of our modules), so as I am going out I notice that he has one of those electric cigarettes. And so being unable to shut up I blurt out "You know those are crap for your health, right?" to which he answers that yes, he is well aware. And how do I reply? By telling him that he shouldn't do it, because I literally said to him that "I do care about you and your health, though". After that, as I leaving I notice that he keeps staring at me.

    Which terrifies me, as I realized that I sounded horribly patronizing by treating him like a child. It is none of my business if he smokes or not, but I just worry about him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wouldn't go as far as say he is, but I am getting the vibes that he probably is. What holds me back are my own self-confidence issues (can't bear being around people for too long, overtly shy, etc.) as well as my appearance. I just don't think I am attractive or good looking enough to be with him. He is lean and just gorgeous (or maybe that's how I am seeing him).

    On top of that, yesterday we had finished our lectures and right after it there was a seminar. He and I are on different seminars for that class (we are in the same seminars for the rest of our modules), so as I am going out I notice that he has one of those electric cigarettes. And so being unable to shut up I blurt out "You know those are crap for your health, right?" to which he answers that yes, he is well aware. And how do I reply? By telling him that he shouldn't do it, because I literally said to him that "I do care about you and your health, though". After that, as I leaving I notice that he keeps staring at me.

    Which terrifies me, as I realized that I sounded horribly patronizing by treating him like a child. It is none of my business if he smokes or not, but I just worry about him.

    Ahh, well, baby steps I guess. I myself haven't ever really made the first move. You could always apologize later, have a laugh about what you said or something if you felt the need to.
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    (Original post by D_ecrivaine)
    Ahh, well, baby steps I guess. I myself haven't ever really made the first move. You could always apologize later, have a laugh about what you said or something if you felt the need to.
    I was thinking on telling him that I was sorry for being such a patronizing t**t and that I would make it up by inviting him to go for coffee or something. What worries me is that I have screwed up entirely by saying that. I do really care for him and it would break my heart if I pushed him away over something so stupid.
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    In the future it will be the things you don't do that you regret the most.
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    (Original post by Llamageddon)
    In the future it will be the things you don't do that you regret the most.
    I know. But as I said before, I just don't want to be the one doing the asking just for him to say that he is not interested. And if that's the case, I don't want to push him away from my life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know. But as I said before, I just don't want to be the one doing the asking just for him to say that he is not interested. And if that's the case, I don't want to push him away from my life.
    Do you want to be the one who never finds out whether he was interested or not?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But as I said before, I just don't want to be the one doing the asking just for him to say that he is not interested.
    Fear of rejection is no excuse, it is cowardice.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And if that's the case, I don't want to push him away from my life.
    But he's not in your life, is he? He's just some dude you have a crush on, but don't want to do anything about it.



    The stupid thing is, somewhere on the internet there's another thread

    "I'm 27 and there's this girl of about 21 and I really fancy her. I even made a damn fool of myself and kissed her hand. Have I blown it? Anyway, she said I had great eyes, then had a go at me for trying to stop smoking. Is she just messing me about? I'm useless at asking girls out, that's why I never have. What should I do? I'm too shy to ask her out in case she turns me down."
    Female liberation started 50 years ago in the 1960s. For god's sake woman, make this man's day and JUST DO IT!
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    (Original post by Simes)
    Just. Do. It.
    This please.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was thinking on telling him that I was sorry for being such a patronizing t**t and that I would make it up by inviting him to go for coffee or something. What worries me is that I have screwed up entirely by saying that. I do really care for him and it would break my heart if I pushed him away over something so stupid.
    Well it didn't sound like he reacted badly, maybe was just startled or taken aback. That sounds like a good plan.
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    Ask him out.... I had the same problem once I asked him out and he was like he see's me as a friend only.....Yea i was gutted but its better than having that 'what if?' question in ur mind....

    Good Luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to school. I used to be bullied pretty badly in school and even got to the point where I was tricked into believing someone wanted a relationship with me, only to be left waiting 2 hours and later being confessed to me that all it had been was a joke. Other than that, I have had the typical stuff with guys stopping me in the street and asking me to go out with them.

    With this being said, I have been falling for a fellow classmate since the beggining of the year. During our first lecture of the year, out of the blue he comes up to me and compliments my writing. Which I still found bizarre, but did not pay too much attention to it. However, around November or so I begin to crush pretty hard over him. While I am in no way obnoxious, I have already attempted to sit next to him and even going as far as telling him he had really pretty eyes (which believe me, he does, they are this forget-me-not blue that it is simply gorgeous).

    Moving on forward to last Thursday, I went out with a couple of my classmates and as I said my goodbyes to them with the usual hugs and all that, when I get to him, he motions me to extend my hand and he actually handkissed me. As corny as it sounds, it made me swoon pretty hardly. Maybe I am looking into it too much, but I just find it weird that he hugged everyone and suddenly he hankisses.

    A part of me wants to go and ask him out for a coffee but another part of me feels terrified of asking him out. I feel that I ould violating his personal space by asking that. Besides, if maybe I am looking to much into it I might push him away and I do really want to keep him as a friend if that happens.

    On top of that is the age difference. I am 21, he is 27 and already working (he is part-time, I am full-time) and while it is "only" 5 years and a half, I am afraid he will regard my feelings about him as a petty and silly as we are in such different stages of our lives.

    What should I do?
    Forget your past

    All the signs are positive so far, yes? so ask him for a drink, food he'll say yes. Flirt a bit see what he does. It'll be fine
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    "Once you've got a task to do, it's better to do it than live with the fear of it."
    - Logen Ninefingers.
 
 
 
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