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    Hi I am in real need of some advice!

    I'll start from the beginning and try and make it as short as possible.

    My mum was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease last year whilst I was at university studying for my Masters. I have since graduated and moved back home with my boyfriend who has moved here to be with me. Due to my mums illness we had to move out and now rent a flat together down the road.

    I got a job straight after my Masters as a Marketing Assistant with a small independent firm. At first it was meant to be a 3 month position but after the 3 months they decided to keep me on. The pay isn't the best, only £15k, and I am struggling a bit to pay for my rent,bills,petrol,social life etc. so I have been considering leaving for a while.

    My mum's illness has deteriorated quite rapidly and she is now in a wheelchair, cannot speak and cannot do anything herself. My dad is her full time carer AND works full time at home too, but we also get help from a care agency who come in the morning and evening to get her to bed. I work from home around once a week so my dad can have a break.

    My boss has been understanding of the situation and has allowed me to work from home when I need, so long as I can still do all the tasks I would be able to do at work, which I can.

    However, since the New Year my job role has changed. I used to be a Marketing Assistant and PA to my colleague who is in charge of the 'sales' department, but my boss has now made me in charge of all Sales activity and turned me into his PA too. Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of hard work and I have enjoyed working at the company as I find it a big distraction from my mum's illness, but I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. As my boss owns the company he can also be quite scary. I have been sworn at and shouted at on a number of occasions and told to 'f*** off' out of his office. I don't feel like he is a very approachable person and he can be quite intimidating. He will often give me work to do with very minimal instructions and when I do it it is often wrong due to the lack of guidance and I get shouted at, but if I ask for more help he will not give it to me as he says he is a 'busy man'. Therefore I am constantly feeling stressed and anxious about what I am meant to be doing.

    With everything going on at home, I am finding the pressure at work too much to handle. I do not like the way my boss speaks to me sometimes and get very nervous and anxious, which is subsequently making me quite ill. I am finding it hard to juggle my work life, as I now find that I am taking work home to complete, and my personal life, as I often have to go home after work to care for my mum so my dad can have a break.

    I have spoken to my dad about it and he is concerned for me and has offered to pay my rent if I quit my job. Whilst this seems very appealing, I am concerned about how this would look on my CV, as I know gaps in employment are not a good sign. My other alternative is to look for a new job, but I am finding the time to do so very hard as I have little time after work when I have to look after mum and often do extra work at home.

    I really need some impartial advice - do I quit my job and risk the gap in my employment looking bad? Or do I carry on and try and look for a new job and risk it all getting too much?

    Colleagues have suggested speaking to my boss, but I don't feel comfortable doing this as he isn't very approachable or friendly at times. His son also works in the same office as me and is around my age so I would feel uncomfortable having to speak in front of him.

    P.s. so sorry for the long long post!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi I am in real need of some advice!
    First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your mother's condition. MND is horrible.

    Your concern of having a gap in your employment is nothing to worry about. Nobody would hold that against you considering your current situation. Anyone that would is not worth working for.

    Edit: I would quit work if I were you. It is the right thing to do.

    Employment gaps are quite acceptable if you have a good reasoning behind them. I would say that stopping work to look after your mum in her disease is quite ok.

    From a purely work point of view it is not OK to be shouted at like that. Your boss's behaviour is not acceptable. I would be looking for something new if I were you.

    Have you considered taking up a part time job for the moment so you can support yourself somewhat while still spending time with your mum?

    remember that you don't have to disclose the reason you leave your job, you can say you left to become a carer for your mum and spend as much time with her as possible (which wouldn't be 100% inaccurate anyway)

    I would speak to your boss about how you feel first (in a non confrontational way) and just see if anything can be helped or resolved, maybe you could reduce your hours instead of quitting? but I don't think you'd be wrong to quit at this point with everything going on for you
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