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What's your opinion on someone inviting themselves to your place? watch

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    I'm at the end of my tether with this particular friend. I have never, ever invited anyone to my house except in the day time. I have a baby so by the evening I am very tired and i have to put my baby to bed so it's not convenient in the slightest for visitors to be round. Also, the noise and chatting wakes him up so its not fair really. Before I had a baby I did sometimes invite a friend over in the evening but this was still rare.

    This particular friend, who p I met when I was 4 months pregnant (baby is 15 months now) is very pushy in general and for months has managed to invite himself to my house. There have been days when I've been so stressed and tired and found myself cooking a lovely meal for him and his boyfriend when I've not even invited them if tea. Sometimes he will say he's coming and he will just turn up with the boyfriend too!

    He genuinely isn't a sponger. He isn't coming to my house for free food, he genuinely just wants to see me and enjoys my company and he knows I can't get to his as I don't drive and have a baby but this is a nightmare. I've made a resolution that he isn't coming to my house unless I explicitly invite him. An hour ago he text saying was I free as he was going to pop round. If I say Im in bed (the truth) he will just text saying something like it's fine I will only stay a short time so I just ignored it. He knocked on my door and I ignored that too. He's now gone but no doubt I will have to dodge another of his invites to my house.

    he doesn't seem to have any consideration or social skills! And this guy is a social worker!!

    Hes got got a good heart but can be very rude and pushy and inconsiderate at the same time. I'm finding our friendship and his insistence on visiting mine stressful. He doesn't accept boundaries and is so forward! Would you just stop being friends? I have told him I don't like visitors and he didn't cop on that I meant him too!

    Would you you ever invite yourself over to a friends? Obviously family is different and maybe very close friends is different too. Bu I've known this guy less than a year
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    Once in a while I don't mind but this guy invited himself regularly. And he stays a long time. If it was the day I wouldn't mind but it's the evening when I'm tired
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    "I appreciate your thoughtfulness but I didn't ask you to come. Not today."
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    "I appreciate your thoughtfulness but I didn't ask you to come. Not today."
    I wish I was more assertive! I should really say this.
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    That's very rude of him. His heart sounds like it's in the right place, but his actions are inconsiderate and he really needs to consider how you feel about this too. :erm:
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    Don't open the door!

    He's taking the mic.

    Fair enough he wants to spend time with you.

    But a true friend would actually bring food round for you not have you there cooking for him and his boyfriend, what does he take this for?

    You have to literally talk to him and tell him it is unacceptable otherwise he probably won't get it and will just keep turning up.

    If anyone did that to me I'd tell them straight up don't ever do that again. Anyone who knows me knows 99.9% of the time it's not going to be a good idea just showing up at mine.
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    Wow if someone came round when my kids were trying to sleep I'd be SO irked. You've been way more tolerant than I would be. Not to mention cooking for him and his boyfriend?! Honey you have a child! You don't need to be cooking for other extra random people as well! Dear me!

    Just politely tell him that it's not convenient for him to come round uninvited because it's disruptive to your toddler, and tell him you'll invite him round at a more convenient time. If he doesn't like that, honestly it's tough. Your child and your life come first, even if the guy is a good friend.
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    I think it's quite rude tbh.
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    Sometimes he will say he's coming and he will just turn up with the boyfriend too!
    This would piss me right off.

    You do sound like you need to be more firm.

    Would you you ever invite yourself over to a friends? Obviously family is different and maybe very close friends is different too.
    No, it's inconsiderate and rude. You could be doing anything and people just turn up and expect you to drop everything :confused:

    Cheek of the week.
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    I'd have a "GTFO" approach :rolleyes:
    • Thread Starter
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    Thanks for the replies. I wondered if I was being over the top or not. Seems I'm not the only one who doesn't like people knocking at the door
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    I think you are right to be angry - you need to spend the evening looking after your baby not unwanted guests!

    They should be offering to bring food and cook for you.

    Don't answer the door; you need to be blunt.
 
 
 
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