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    Disclaimer: This situation was 100% true. The first thread I made on this was removed for "trolling," when I was in actual fact fully serious. Please do not remove the thread...

    Hello, I gotten myself into a rather sticky situation. Before I delve into it, I want to say- please offer constructive advice. Unlike with the other thread, I prefer 1 paragraph of good advice to 40 one-liner replies. I will also give a lot more detail in this, because the first one I attempted, unsuccessfully, to keep very brief for anonymousness purposes. Here, I will be as detailed as possible to try to not be labelled "troll" throughout the post.
    - - -

    It all begun a year and a half ago when I first joined the school. It was interesting, and I was expecting a great time. Yeah, well, don't we all when moving to a new place? It started off great, new friends, new places, new everything. It was also going well with the girls- yes, I would rate that situation really well. I can well remember a handful of girls professing their love to me in the very first month of me moving to this place.

    But then things took a turn for the worst. Because of my shyness, and, in my previous place of residence, always expecting people to be the ones asking me to come out, to go somewhere with them, and approaching me, I hadn't developed these skills very well. This, sadly, led to me hanging out maybe once or twice over the whole first 1 1/4 year of the time I lived here.

    My life was going nowhere. Me, being used to having people invite me over and not having to do anything, I was really sad that no one was inviting me anywhere. Things picked up great at school at first. I got quite a few invites out, and tonnes of chances, but, at that time, I was actually busy. Needless to say, I had lost the initiative.

    The friendships which I had begun to develop at school slowly begun to deteriorate, and so did the way I spent my free time. Instead of going out, doing sports, writing, drawing, and countless other things I wanted to do or used to do, I spent the days in front of my computer screen, smelling the smell of weed in my uber-cheap apartment coming in from my neighbours. Not exactly the dream residence. In short, life wasn't getting better- it was getting worse with every passing day.

    Yeah, sure, the academics were great, and, from the outside, it looked like everything was going great. A whole host of girls fancied me now...to different extents (but, being the person I was at the time, I never did anything) But I was also bullied at school. Where I used to live before, no one bullied me, and, if someone tried to out of school, I was always with my friends who would always save me from these situations. Always. So at the time, I also had no skills to deal with bullying. Lovely!

    Now, around the same time, this girl started asking me help with her work. Obviously, I was like sure, and thought nothing more of it. Sometimes, I would notices side glances e.t.c. Then, in about January 2014, she told me she loves me. This wasn't a joke, and it was 100% serious. She touched my hair, hands, chest...and hugged me...a lot. Now, mind you, she was far from the only one doing this, but, being in the life ****hole of my own making, I hasten to add, I obviously did not want to draw anyone down into my ****hole. She was the only person out of the others who I was actually interested in.

    Now, let me say before we get any further, that this is not a typical scenario of people falling in/out of love with each other at mismatched times. No. I actually loved it when she touched my hands or chest, or when she touched my hair. But, trust me here, lads, I was in such an absolute ****ing ****hole of my own making that I did not want to pull anyone after me. In fact, I could hardly recognise myself 6 months ago. That weed the neighbours were smoking was always present as a strong, very strong smell in my room. That is not fun. Trust me.

    She kept this up. Through-out the year, she kept doing this, and, when doing it, she told me she loves me. She tried to get us on our own and she tried to talk to me. I wanted to talk to her, I desperately did. I wanted to joke, and so on. But you know what? I did nothing, which, at the time, was probably for the best. I wanted to tell her I love you too, but, around May that year, my neighbours weed and constant computer playing had gotten to my brain. I remember how, before, I was literally the man. Now I could hardly say hello to someone properly. It was a truly ****ing sad state of affairs. At this point, I desperately wanted to talk to her. But you know what? I actually couldn't. Yes. I found that, even with the guy I had hung out with twice, I just couldn't think of a single thing to say. And we were sound. People begun to say that, when I speak, my voice just simply lacked any emotion, like I was a robot or something. At this point, my self-confidence literally crashed through the floor, flied through the basement, and deep below the solid foundations. I begun to think that she is just making fun of me, tormenting me. When I walked to school, people said my eyes were so red (despite getting enough sleep), people were constantly asking if I was on drugs or ****. In truth, I have never used drugs, not even smoked ffs! Here, let me thank my good neighbours who smoked weed, and let me wish a good life to them. Thank you good neighbours.

    At this point, I didn't know what I had done to deserve what I got. I had always been a good person before. I didn't take things for granted. Despite the fact I had no experience in stopping bullying myself (thanks to my good friends who never let it happen), I wouldn't stand by to see someone else getting bullied. WTF had I done to deserve this ****? I remember the long nights, remembering how things used to be, how fun every day/night was back home, and compared it to the "now". The only thing that was going good was my grades...unlike where I had moved from. That was really the only consolation.

    And yet, this girl kept doing this. I literally couldn't say a thing by the time it was June 2014 of school. She came to talk to me, and I literally didn't have anything to say. Not that I was shy to say anything, I literally had nothing. My mind was a confused mess. I did not know what I myself was thinking. It was the biggest ****ing mess I had ever been in. Let me repeat this, things have never been so bad in my life as they were then. I remember walking through the woods after swimming, which I did daily, and seeing everyone with their friends, girlfriends, family. I had no one, except the family I had moved in with. I begun to think no one really liked me. I kept thinking back to this girl, and that gave me hope, to be honest. It really gave me hope to struggle on. I would have really loved to take her for a walk somewhere then, through the woods, lake, or some thing. At school, she kept telling me she loves me, and the usual routine, and always tried to talk to me when she saw me.

    At that point, I really don't know what she saw in me. It was physically hard to put a sentence together when talking to anyone. It was hard to speak. The neighbours, god bless them, were high 24/7, and over the summer the whole shared staircase was filled to the brim with people getting high on marijuana. And guess where it all went into? That's right! My room. I was literally thinking back about a year ago, how I had spent the last summer. I was literally, no joke, the most popular guy in the school where I had come from (definitely the most funny), and could make friends like *that*. Literally. I just started talking to someone, they would get my number and call me later... I remember how I could actually talk...how I could actually string together a proper sentence.

    By the final days of school, I could literally not find a single reason why she still loved me. And yet she did.

    The summer holidays are safely the worse that have ever been, or ever will be. That, I can say with 100%, and utmost certainty. How lonely that summer was. And then something happened. Two things, in fact. We moved...That's right! We actually moved away into somewhere else! Sure, the place had carpets stinking like dog urine, but it was better than that ****ing weed. I would rather swim in dog urine than I would sleep in that room again. And, secondly, we decided to visit our hometown back in our country where we used to live.

    At that point, things improved. I could actually talk, for starters. Of course, I wanted my life here to look as good as possible to all my friends back home. So I joined a few clubs. And got to meet new people, not many permanent friends, at that point, but fun people all the same.

    September 2014 came, and school was noticeably better. Being able to talk helped me actually talk to people who I approached. You know, what good is approaching people if you are *physically* unable to talk? I also made some friends then, people who I am still friends with. And I set some firm foundations then for future relationships. Time passed, and my life situation improved greatly. Oh, and this girl still loved me. Yes, it had been a full year since I moved in, and 3/4 of a year since she told me she loves me. Things weren't going too bad- but not too well either.

    I visited my country, and met many of my old friends. They still acted the same to me- as well as ever. Everyone did say, however, that I had markedly changed.

    This inspired me. It inspired me to go on and build a better life for myself. I watched the movie "Yes, man," made many new friends, acquaintances, started actually doing things, joined a political party, joined sports clubs, became more talkative. Things improved. A lot.

    It was now December 2014, and, ding ding, I was out of the ****hole I had been in. Right, **** hole period over, I decided to do something I wanted to do for a long time. I wanted to date that girl. I proceeded with caution. I wanted to measure her interest in me, and told a really funny story to the whole of our class we both share. That was some really funny stuff, and everyone was asking me questions about it, and everyone was really curious. No matter the story, something else happened. The girl came up to me, and gave me, "The Look". Now, I have previous experience, and I know the only time someone gives you that look is when they are interested. When she did talk, she always looked me distinctly in the eye, and spoke very slowly and tried to sound as "sweet" as possible. I could tell, because she doesn't normally speak like that, or speak like that to others.

    It was interesting. I asked her for her number- she said she didn't know it, but asked for mine. Oh, another small detail. She basically asked to come over for sex at my house. I had to say no for two reasons: My room didn't have any curtains, because, at that point, they were actually too expensive, and my room was a mess with basically no furniture. I didn't want to show her my room, because, in all honesty, I was ashamed to show it to anyone, especially her. It was, in fact, quite tragic. She kept on asking, but was ok with this.

    Sure enough, late at night she texts me. She said she'd call me, which was I asked, since I didn't have any phone credit to respond to her texts. That was actually quite sad, because I wanted to respond, but couldn't.

    Alright, I buy some phone credit as soon as I could, and text her back. I had so much I wanted to say then...I just sort of spammed a few paragraphs. She still responded, and, as it turns out, she was quite busy that week. So we agreed to meet up next week. Come next week, she isn't responding to my texts. I mean, I only sent two, on a single day. Then I thought she didn't care and just thought "Well, what's the point?"
    You know, I thought she wasn't interested. Later on, having spoken to one of my friends who is a girl and sorta-kinda knows her, my friend says that the girl who I fancied was probably just busy then. But that was after I did some ****.

    Over Christmas, me and my friends were getting drunk. Absolutely wasted. I was talking to my friend about the relationship situation I was in, and he was like, "I am your friend...let me fix your relationship problems." So I was like sure, and handed him over my phone. 5 minutes later, I see he has sent a block of 50-shades-of-grey worthy text messages to her. At this point, I am alright mate, lol. We just sort of laughed it off with my friends I was with then.

    Come January 2015, she asks me for some "help" with her school work. I thought this was a cue for something more, but, unlike the first time, this time she was actually in a real hole and needed some help. Now, I don't mind helping her out at all, so I was like "Yeah, sure why not." But, once again, acting on the advice of my alleged "Pick-up-master friends," I decided to play ********. For the whole time, I was just making jokes and flirting with the other girl (and flirting) who was sitting next to us, and just sort of blanking out the girl who I fancy. Aaah! Absolute Common sense! Turns out not. After 3 hours and nothing done, and with the girl next to her having much more done (because I did it for her), she was just calling me a dickwad, ******** et cetera, and was telling me to f**k off. Righties.

    So what do I do? I, once more, decide to take the common sense solution that any man in my position would take! I go to my friend, the same said friend who sent the messages, and be like "mate can you give me some advice?" Naturally, more of the same ensues, and, once again, I hand my phone over to my good friend. Truly, we have reached common sense here.

    Now, she still wants my help, but I don't know about much more. She just asked me to do all her coursework for her, while she just sort of sits by and does nothing. Like, I would have totally done this for her. I don't mind doing it for her. In face, I might even enjoy doing it for her- never mind the fact that she asked me to do it at home, in my own time. You know, I was totally willing to do it, installed all the right programs and everything. But then comes again a different friend. He told me she is using me, and that I should, in essence, steer clear. Now, once again, in a great triumph of common sense, I follow my friends advice, and once again be a **** to her for the lesson, basically. She is now telling me I am useless, I can **** off, and trying to get other people to help her. Is she just trying to get me to do something, or is some help with the coursework all that she is looking for? Another thing is, she keeps asking private questions and giving really personal answers to some of my questions (i.e. not something you would usually tell a stranger, or, rather, I wouldn't).
    - - -

    Now, I have been in bad situations before, naturally, and I have grown to be optimistic about everything. Obviously, there is a slight problem here. But, eh, never mind, I've gotten over bigger problems before.

    The big question is, Is there anything I can do to salvage the situation?

    Obviously, to not delve into even more detail than I already have, I have with-held some certain details of the current situation so its not immediately obvious as to who is writing this, should anyone knowing of this situation ever reads this.

    I am basically being an ******** to her now, but not because I want to, but because, I think that she is using me to get her coursework done. She is still asking me for help. Should I drop the ********ness and just do what she asks me to? Should I even just do all her work for her in my own private time? I mean, I can move meet-ups with friends and clubs to do this, that is fine with me. But I just don't want to look like the total retard who has been used.


    P.S.-What guys do you know about improving my mental clarity after those lovely marijuana-toting neighbours? I still find it somewhat blurry...

    P.S.2.-The reason for the length of this piece is due to the lack of success in maintaining credibility with a much shorter and more incognito (less detailed information), and eventually the thread being deleted due to moderators considering it a troll thread.
    The other, main reason, is so people can give me more detailed advice based on the detailed situation I am experiencing.


    ---

    I feel that a TL;DR wouldn't explain the essence of the situation, but here it goes anyway:

    TL;DR: Girl keep saying she loves me for a year, I don't move in due to a somewhat [!] unfavourable overall then-current situation. I ask her out, she agrees. We never meet up, she stops responding to texts. I ask my friend for some advice, many 50-shades-of-grey-esque messages ensue, she keeps ignoring me. She is asking for some help with her work now, i.e., asking me to do all of her coursework for her. How can I salvage the situation.
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    It is good that you are aware that you're being used. I doubt that such a shallow person as you've described (the girl) will ever understand the meaning of "Help Yourself". (no number of mental health problems can excuse that)
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    Possibly the post the phrase TL;DR was made for lol
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    tl;dr even by Riku's standards
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    (Original post by 7589200)
    Possibly the post the phrase TL;DR was made for lol
    (Original post by MinionMogul)
    tl;dr even by Riku's standards
    As much as I didn't want to add a TL;DR to make the situation perfectly clear, its not clear if anyone will read it or a part of it unless I do add a TL;DR.
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    It is good that you are aware that you're being used. I doubt that such a shallow person as you've described (the girl) will ever understand the meaning of "Help Yourself". (no number of mental health problems can excuse that)
    This. I just don't get it. Is she using me, or does she maybe want something more? I mean, everything that happened before, you don't do that to someone unless you have real feelings for them.
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    I think that was the longest post in the Relationship forum I've ever read.

    It's difficult to know what's going on in her head just from what you've said. Instead of playing games like your friend has suggested, and just wondering what she wants/what she's doing... why don't you just ask her out? What's the worst that could happen? At least then you'll know.
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    (Original post by carlaraptor)
    I think that was the longest post in the Relationship forum I've ever read.

    It's difficult to know what's going on in her head just from what you've said. Instead of playing games like your friend has suggested, and just wondering what she wants/what she's doing... why don't you just ask her out? What's the worst that could happen? At least then you'll know.
    It's dragged on for a year as OP says, don't think that'll work.
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    I wanted to +Rep the first TL;DR for the 3,179 word post. But I've run out of reps today. :-(


    The relationship's over and now she's using you. Move on.
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    (Original post by Simes)
    I wanted to +Rep the first TL;DR for the 3,179 word post. But I've run out of reps today. :-(


    The relationship's over and now she's using you. Move on.
    Except there never was a relationship, sadly...
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    It's dragged on for a year as OP says, don't think that'll work.
    (Original post by carlaraptor)
    I think that was the longest post in the Relationship forum I've ever read.

    It's difficult to know what's going on in her head just from what you've said. Instead of playing games like your friend has suggested, and just wondering what she wants/what she's doing... why don't you just ask her out? What's the worst that could happen? At least then you'll know.
    Good plan. The only other problem is now, well...she has a boyfriend, apparently. Yup. A bit on the sad side, but whatever eh? No more eloquent way to put it than "Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."
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    Alright. I am actually really disappointed with the uber-low amount of replies. The threat that got removed for "trolling" had about 40 from other people. This, on the other hand, has 3. Apparently the same people who like to call people "troll" on shorter posts don't care for the longer ones. Hmm, who would have thought?

    Well, I will ask her out anyway, despite her having a boyfriend. Who knows, maybe it will work out? Also, I will ask the same said friend for advice, since none of you here have anything meaningful to contribute.
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    You need therapy.
 
 
 
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