Loneliness and thoughts of university life

I thought university will provide me a ground to mix up with other students, but I also contemplate on the other end of the spectrum; that is ending up without friends. I am academically adept, but lagging behind on my socialisation skills.

I thought that if I was going to end up being alone in university; miserable. These reverberating thoughts have been disturbing me. It always made me think that the only safety net that I will be having once I touch university was killing myself.

I am enthusiastic about university; of getting more fluent about my chosen course, of improving my knowledge. But the other aspects of university life I am willing to adapt, but the challenges that they pose seem to look so big to me that it has been a "psychological struggle" for me even to reflect on it.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

you know i worry the same, everyone says its such a big social time in your life, but i've heard the same about school and college and i can't say i have the hugest cohort of friends.

then again i don't think seeing it the way you do that if you don't make friends the only way out is killing yourself, personally i sometimes prefer my own company, and i think friendships come from you making an effort to make the first approach rather than expecting other people to.

however thinking about killing yourself shouldn't be taken lightly, talk to someone like a councellor or even a friend (if you have that kind of friend), they can help you put things into perspective. i realised having friends isn't the be-all and end-all of life, and friends will come and go, no one stays friends with everyone they ever met. just think that your best friend could be the girl or boy you're too shy and awkward to talk to. :smile:

Reply 2

Navajo

I can't lie to you going to Uni 2 years ago was by far the biggest social event in my life! But for the good!

I used to have mild depression, be self conscious and be really quiet. Uni has changed all that for the better... ok... so it was a shock to the system for a couple of weeks/days but I've never had such a good time in my life!

Also if your thinking about going as far as self harm or suicide then talk to a friend/family member as soon as possible.... remember nothing is worth a life everything in life can be changed even if you see no way out. Just remember a problem shared is a problem halved, it's true...

Reply 3

graveyarddreams

Anonymous

I am academically adept, but lagging behind on my socialisation skills. .

There are many many people that fit this description, myself included. If you look around you, you will find that a lot of people are probably worse at socialising.

Anonymous

I thought that if I was going to end up being alone in university; miserable. These reverberating thoughts have been disturbing me. It always made me think that the only safety net that I will be having once I touch university was killing myself. .

Tbh, up until recently, i always picture uni as a place where people are mature and like adults, where they no longer go around in groups (not that there is anything wrong with this but it's more of a school thing). I use to see uni students walking around on their own and admire their independence and lifestyle, and looked forward to be like that. Though now i know this is not the case, i still see uni as a place where i can go around on my own and not be childishly labelled as a 'loner' like in school. Killing yourself just because you are alone is very worrying. You are not always going to be surrounded by friends. It's nice to have them but it's not a must. Can't you do anything satisfying by yourself? It sounds like you feel without friends, you might as well not exist. Try being by yourself, you might like it.

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