Is my personality going to make me single for ages?

evening! Firstly im using my cousins account this once (i got permission this once :p:

) as I want an honest and mature opinion and secondly im a girl.

I know this may sound silly because i'm 18 and I'm going to university when im 19 (Birmingham university for law) but due to my very traditional upbringing (i'm half chinese) am I expecting to much from a potential partner? Until I was 17 (A2 year) I practically followed the usual family tradition of not having any relationships and putting my work first like my sisters and brother. When I coasted my first A/S year I thought I could take it a bit easier and look for someone I can have a relationship with. I may sound overconfident but I am considered as the one of the most attractive girl in my year and when I made it clear I am looking for someone quite a few guys are asking me out. The thing is that i want a very attractive boyfriend whom is academically able like i am :redface:

. But the thing is all the attractive guys all seem to be after one thing.... Is it too much to ask that he is a virgin too? Surly it isin't rare if people are 18/19 because I don't want to have sex until I'm in a stable long term relationship? The problem for me is that I'm sooo picky and I don't want to lower my standards either. My girl friends are all the clubbing kind of people whom has been sleeping about since they were 16 and told me that I'm asking for too much. At times im just so frustrated that I can't find anyone right. My gap year involves me working in night shifts with middle aged women so no chance of relationship from there and that is making me even more frustrated.... at times I wish I can just get it over and done with in a one night stand but Im fighting that temptation. But I just want to know if im asking too much?

Reply 1

guitar_guru

Maybe you will find a prospective partner when you deflate your ego. Asking for no sex is fine, but maybe u shudnt b looking for a 'very attractive boy who is academically able'.. maybe a nice guy would do? or maybe there isnt anyone out there worthy of you..

Reply 2

67382

Short answer- Yes.

Reply 3

guitar_guru

alex k puts it very eloquently..

Reply 4

melquíades el gitano

9

sounds depressing, but wait until uni. there'll be plenty of 'academically able' boys, although I think you may be unfairly restricting yourself by using that to judge potential boyfriends.

Reply 5

q1w2e3r4t5y

You will be single for ages, but once you meet someone who meets your requirements, it will be a lot better than lowering your standards just in order not to be single.

Don't lose hope :smile:

Tons of people are virgins at 18/19, they just don't go around telling everyone bout it.

Reply 6

C00kies

Well if you really want someone intellectual you'll just have to wait untill uni, there's no point having relationships you ultimately don't want. You'll just have to wait. If you're going oxbridge or somewhere you're bound to find people who think like you as well. Who want the whole package, and for them to match themselves. But you never know you may find yourself getting on with someone who's intelligent but maybe not intelligence you can measure with exams.

Reply 7

Daveinnorfolk

erm.. whats wrong with wanting someone whos 'academically able' ? I've only ever gone out with girls who are inteligent for one very simple reason.. their more interesting and have a greater range of things they can talk about.

You don't find that in an ASDA worker, with respect

To the OP:
No, thats your standards, keep them

Reply 8

ice_cube

17

Yes your standards are high, almost impossibly high, but if thats what you want you wont be happier with anything less, and thats the way it should be. Stick with what you want, expect and desire, but be prepared for maybe a long wait and some slip ups along the way. Everyone finds someone eventually :smile:

Reply 9

maelys

You may want to consider someone who is mentally strong and very well-grounded/down-to-earth. Ooh and practical. Whilst academic intelligence and a good education are useful in a multitude of ways, it won't necessarily buy wisdom! Or the ability to deal with many of the tough things that life might throw at you.
However, I would suggest that you shouldn't have to hurry or wait/not wait to find boyfriends, sometimes as you get a little older, you'll have a much better idea what you want in a partner. For example, you might feel that while looks are important to you now, they are not likely to be an issue in your early twenties :wink:

Reply 10

melquíades el gitano

9

Daveinnorfolk

erm.. whats wrong with wanting someone whos 'academically able' ? I've only ever gone out with girls who are inteligent for one very simple reason.. their more interesting and have a greater range of things they can talk about.

You don't find that in an ASDA worker, with respect

To the OP:
No, thats your standards, keep them

Academic ability and intelligence are not synonymous. I went to a school where a quarter were accepted into oxbridge and most got at least 3 As. Few of them were truly intelligent.

Reply 11

Daveinnorfolk

melquíades el gitano

Academic ability and intelligence are not synonymous. I went to a school where a quarter were accepted into oxbridge and most got at least 3 As. Few of them were truly intelligent.

Quite right... it depends if you say someone who, for example, will discuss political issues indepth is an academic - even though they might not be terrific in exams.

It goes back to something i was having a discussion with someone with the other day 'what is inteligence?'

Reply 12

Mercer

10

Daveinnorfolk

erm.. whats wrong with wanting someone whos 'academically able' ? I've only ever gone out with girls who are inteligent for one very simple reason.. their more interesting and have a greater range of things they can talk about.

You don't find that in an ASDA worker, with respect

To the OP:
No, thats your standards, keep them

They're interesting, and they're intelligent. Thats?

Which is why being a snob is a bit thick, really. Some ASDA workers can be interesting.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

umm can we not go into this intelligence and academic debate please? I just want some opinion on this issue, than you xxxxx

Reply 14

andy_cole2

14

How can you say what you 'want' you donn't know what you want until it comes along.

Reply 15

andy_cole2

14

it sounds like you have developed these conditions as a conclusion from not liking anyone so far. its pefectly possible they'l be some clever not amazingly good looking guy that ul suddenly like. just because you haen't found anyone so far the reasons that you have manifested into conditions in a guy are probably just a reaction to that...

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

On the academic side I just want someone whom actually concentrates on his work, puts a lot of effort and hopefully does well academically in and not the ********s in my school whom always turns up late, can't be assed to do anything and just try to chat me up all the time in class and they most fail (still don't care) and just piss about more at universities which accept them.

Reply 17

Mercer

10

andy_cole2

How can you say what you 'want' you donn't know what you want until it comes along.

Very good point. You shouldn't sit there with a checklist identifying who you want.

I'm sure you'll find people you like at your uni...

Reply 18

maelys

Anonymous

On the academic side I just want someone whom actually concentrates on his work, puts a lot of effort and hopefully does well academically in and not the ********s in my school whom always turns up late, can't be assed to do anything and just try to chat me up all the time in class and they most fail (still don't care) and just piss about more at universities which accept them.

Asides from the first term, most students apply themselves very well in higher education - the people with the attitude you have described above are in a minority. Chances are you'll keep away from them.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

You will be single for ages, but once you meet someone who meets your requirements, it will be a lot better than lowering your standards just in order not to be single.

Don't lose hope

Tons of people are virgins at 18/19, they just don't go around telling everyone bout it.

The most helpful thread so far, along with cookies and Daveinnorfolk.

Is my personality going to make me single for ages?

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