How do you get over someone?

A week ago my boyfriend left me after confessing to me that he had been cheating on me with one of my friends, who he now "loves" and wants to be with... I've been going crazy! It's been 9 days and I'm still crying constantly - I thought I would be better by now. The worst thing is that instead of being angry with him I am just wishing I could get back with him. He treated me so band and yet I still want to be with him... And I keep texting, emailing and phoning him but he is ignoring me and it's making me worse...

So, how can I forget about this guy and realise that I deserve much better? How long will it take? ARGH! I think I'm going crazy...

Reply 1

doctor2be

Ah I'm so sorry, that sucks! Firstly, I wouldn't text, e-mail or phone him at all, just don't contact him - he cheated on you, and theres absolutely no excuse for it, worst of all, with one of your friends! Has your friend said anything to you?

I know it feels really horrible, but seriously, best thing you can do, is to try and cut him out of your life totally - delete his number, delete his msn...and keep yourself busy. How long did you go out for if you dont mind me asking? Seriously though, you need your friends right now - not 'that' friend, but your other friends - just to keep your mind off him...x

Reply 2

WokSz

Best way to forget someone is to be with someone else. I know how you feel and all I can say is go away. maybe a holiday?

Reply 3

doctor2be

^ But then surely shes just using the new guy shes with because she wouldn't be over her ex?

Urgh, I'm sorry, I know how depressing it is. You feel like absolute crap at first, and it doesn't ever feel at present that its going to get any better, but I promise you it will. With Woksz comments about being with someone else, I agree it would help but theres no point if you're still 'in love' with your ex.
Everyone goes through it with a break-up - you'll miss him like crazy at first, but then you'll get to a stage where you may not necessarily miss him but you'll miss having a boyfriend, and then you'll just be happy to be single...I haven't got to the 2nd or 3rd stages yet lol but I'm getting there. x

Reply 4

IzzTheGreat

I know how you feel - moving on is horrible. One thing that helped me was to make a list of all the reasons why my ex was a foul bastard and keep it pinned up. Every time I wanted to call/text him I'd look at the list and it mostly stopped me from missing him.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

we were together for 21 months, we were planning to get engaged soon as well which is just... argh!

I haven't spoken to my friend at all, I don't really want to.

I'm just constantly crying and I'm hardly eating. I just keep thinking that we were meant to be together and that I'll never find anyone else!! I know it's stupid but I can't help it..

Reply 6

doctor2be

Oh my goodness, and do you know how long he was cheating on you for if you dont mind me asking? Thats so horrible. Yeah I wouldn't bother with your friend anymore.
You will feel like that at first, but honestly, just go out and do something, even if its just to go to the gym/go swimming - best remedy though is to spend time with your best friends.
Oh and may sound obvious but don't listen to any sad/slow songs! I know its so tempting to sit there and wallow but make a cd of upbeat songs - the cheesier the better! I hope this helps at least a little bit.

Reply 7

username47781

Purple-Sparkle

You loved (still love) your ex so it is understandable why you feel like rubbish. Thats terrible what he did and I'm sure you can do much better. No guy is worth it if they cheat on their girlfriend. Don't contact him. Delete his number, msn and email and anyother forms of contact you have with him. Its hard but needs to be done. Hes not worth taking back and you are wasting time trying to get him back. He is a cheating scum bag just like my ex (was with him on off for a year). I split up with him because he was always messing me around and messing with my head. To top it all he started planning to cheat on me (look for someone else) and was planning to meet a woman he met on the net for sex while I was with him. A week after I'd finished with him, he met her and slept with her the 1st time. He is nothing but a loser and male slag. I wouldn't dream of sleeping with someone I met on the net, especially that soon. I felt terrible but a good friend managed to cheer me up last night :smile:

. Made me realise what a prick he was. I no longer feel any love for my ex, only anger and hate. I just keep thinking how could he do this to me?

Anyway, don't contact him again, go out with friends, talk to people about it, have a laugh. Join clubs or do something new to pass time. Get your hair cut into a completely new funky style that makes you look and feel better. I did that and I feel great. Most of all try to forget him :smile:

Hope this helps.

Totally agree, forget him, he can't have loved you all that much if he cheated on you like that, delete his number and don't ever talk to him

Reply 8

gracie88

Ditto to all the delete his number etc it really does work. I did it with one of my exes and that way i had no means of getting in contact with him. Try and spend time with those friends that you have, they will understand suggest a girly night out maybe?

21 months is a long time and yes of course you'll feel like you won't find anyone else, but the old cliche time is a healer is really true. You will be ok i promise you. :hugs: