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Emotions flipping: can no longer trust or like friend. watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    So, first off, I guess this post is a bit of me getting my thoughts in order but also I'd be interested in if anyone else felt the same or had any advice to give.

    I live with 2 other people: one's nearly my age and we get on well, have done lots of fun things together and get on well. The other is a bit younger than us but does share most of our interests so we all have things and friends in common. Generally, everything in the house was going fine: shared meals, not too much mess, spent time socialising in the house together.

    I started to slightly dislike the way my younger housemate was: always gossip driven, far too hyper and completely indecisive about anything to the point where you couldn't even organise something simple like dinner. Then something happened recently that completely flipped me into disliking him, an argument about something not related to our house (I'd rather not go into details) but involving us all. The way my younger housemate came off to me after that was a hypocritical, rude and untrustworthy person. He told our friends about things from our house conversations (very open and honest conversations which held a 'this does not leave this room' status) which were then used against me in this argument. He betrayed me, sided against me in the argument (even though when we'd talked about the situation before his opinion aligned with mine), and completely over-exaggerated everything to make me look like the bad-guy. I just came away from that feeling like I didn't want to have anything to do with him.

    That's the problem though. I am on a committee with him so have to work with him for that... I can be professional - god knows I've had to work with people worse than him in the past. It's not great but I'll live. But I really don't know if I can live with him for another year though. I basically feel like a hostage in my own house right now. My main problem is that I really like living with my other housemate, he's one of my closest friends and I wouldn't want to lose all the fun things we do - he's not going to move so if I move out I lose living with him and also a great house in a great location.

    I just don't really know what to do. I don't want to make up with my younger housemate, he's shown his true colours and I don't like them. He is not someone I would like to call a friend anymore. I don't want to move out as I really like my other housemate and I like where I live. In an ideal world the younger housemate moves out but that's not happening for at least a year at the minimum. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.
    • #2

    lol i hate people like this too- you go to uni thinking you'd left that sort of thing behind at school but no. I see your problem though- will it just be the three of you living together next year? Have you confronted this guy about the things he's done and how that's crossed a line and really offended you? I mean I guess you know now to not trust them as far as you can throw them. But I guess you have a choice of talking to them and letting them know how they betrayed you as a friend and hope they'll take this on board and think about their actions in future (you still wont have to associate with them any more than you need to if you want) or if you really, really can't stand being near them get house hunting :/ I mean getting a fresh start and living with completely new people can be fun- i know a friend who moved into a house with 8 people all who didn't know each other this year and shes quite at home there- they all get on and are respectful of each other even if they don't all live in each others pockets. You could have a word with the friend you live with you like too- not necessarily in a '*****y' way but just to share with them how this person has made you feel and your fears about next yr
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