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Is she really *this* busy?

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Original post by Muttley79
OP - there are some very immature responses to you on this thread.

Your girlfriend just needs some space - I did a maths degree and finals are stressful especially if you are aimimg for a Masters.

ll the signs are she wants to be with you and you can support her by sending little 'treats' like chocolate, love notes etc to keep her going when work is tough.

Hang in there ...


She just got my Despicable Minion gift. She sent me a snap chat of it with the caption "LOL" ... did she like it?
Yes, I think she did! :smile:
Original post by Muttley79
Yes, I think she did! :smile:



Even though I'd respect her decision if she broke up with me, I *really* don't want to lose her :frown:

I've never felt so comfortable and loved by anyone as much as her!
Be there for her and send her cute stuff from time to time to show you care.

Good luck OP :smile: and try not to worry too much.
You really are overthinking this. If she didn't want to be with you, she would have told you.
Original post by OU Student
You really are overthinking this. If she didn't want to be with you, she would have told you.



Yeah, I know ... I'm certain she would let me know without dragging me along for 2 weeks.

I hate overthinking **** like this :frown: It's horrible.
Question is, does she seem to be "available" for anyone else? If yes, then she's BS you, if not then she's busy and you need to find something to be busy with as well :lol:
Reply 47
Please do not take this personally, but

Just relax, take it easy and problems tend to work themselves out. Besides, both of you have your whole lives ahead of you don't become wrapped up in this as it will ultimately affect the relationship and yourself.

My advice, keep your distance (not literally), but keep in close contact and show that you support and admire her decision to concentrate on her work. Yes, it may hurt you that she is not 100% dedicated to you atm, but she has her own life to live and if a degree is what she wants to do, respect that and support her and if she has any sense she will realise that you want the best for her.

Relationships are essentially an elongated compromise, and if the compromise does not work for both of you it may not be right...But if your love is strong the relationship will last through everything, and this will almost certainly be the case

Also, about other people telling you to check on her and see if she is available for others etc, please do not do this as this will ultimately come back to haunt you, as she will see it as that you do not trust her. It will also hurt you more, if you find something out

Please do not see this as me disagreeing with you, as I fully support and understand your problem, but just realise both of you have your own lives...
Original post by Dodgypirate
Or is it some excuse?

My GF and I have been together for 10 months now. Everything has been great. Yes we've had ups and downs like every other couple, but we always seem to settle it quickly.

Anyway, she's on her last year of 3 year maths degree, and according to her and the work I've seen when I've been around hers, it's really stressful.

She has 2 major maths coursework due in soon, one which she has just finished, and then she has a long maths exercise to do too.

She told me things would get really stressful and that we wouldn't be able to see each other as much. That we shouldn't 'promise' each other times we could meet (?)

Of course we've spoken on the phone a couple of times and by text, so she hasn't gone completely AWOL, but even her closest friends tell me this is how she acts when she's busy/stressed.

Should I just take her word for it?


Hey, I would. I know I get like that with everyone I know when I'm stressed with work. Just give her space and let her tell you when she can see you. She'll know in her own mind if she can afford to see you and not do work.

The last thing she needs is you moaning at her for not seeing her when she's all worked up, just carry on supporting her and helping her not stress too much... from a distance. She'll thank you for it later.
She might stick with you, she might end it with you soon after giving in to the hypergamous instinct when she realises she has greater ambitions in life than you. You have to be prepared for either and ruthlessly improve yourself so that she doesn't consider fishing for bigger sharks. My suggestion is to pursue something of equal level qualification or higher, perhaps a PhD. Warning: when you do this if you can't make time for her she will end it with you for not making enough time for you, gender hypocrisy FTFY lololol deal with it, sacrifice sleep if you have to to see her, just MAN UP and make sure she has no incentive to leave for someone with higher market value!
Original post by smilesilly!

The last thing she needs is you moaning at her for not seeing her when she's all worked up, just carry on supporting her and helping her not stress too much... from a distance. She'll thank you for it later.


Who the hell said I was 'moaning' at her lol ?
Original post by smilesilly!
Hey, I would. I know I get like that with everyone I know when I'm stressed with work. Just give her space and let her tell you when she can see you. She'll know in her own mind if she can afford to see you and not do work.

The last thing she needs is you moaning at her for not seeing her when she's all worked up, just carry on supporting her and helping her not stress too much... from a distance. She'll thank you for it later.


haha no she won't, truth is if the roles were reversed she'd probably dump him for being emotionally unavailable, can't win :biggrin:
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
She might stick with you, she might end it with you soon after giving in to the hypergamous instinct when she realises she has greater ambitions in life than you. You have to be prepared for either and ruthlessly improve yourself so that she doesn't consider fishing for bigger sharks. My suggestion is to pursue something of equal level qualification or higher, perhaps a PhD. Warning: when you do this if you can't make time for her she will end it with you for not making enough time for you, gender hypocrisy FTFY lololol deal with it, sacrifice sleep if you have to to see her, just MAN UP and make sure she has no incentive to leave for someone with higher market value!


lol, just lol.
Original post by Dodgypirate
Who the hell said I was 'moaning' at her lol ?


rationalisation bro, you are the man you are always in the wrong and the weaker partner if you fail to deliver security to her, remember that.
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
rationalisation bro, you are the man you are always in the wrong and the weaker partner if you fail to deliver security to her, remember that.


Don't tell me you're one of those guys?
Original post by Dodgypirate
lol, just lol.


you're laughing but, without preying on your insecurities too much…your last partners did break up with you when they needed 'space'. :frown: You will come to realise how toxic your position as bf truly is if you cannot maintain dominance in some form.
Original post by Dodgypirate
Don't tell me you're one of those guys?


who are 'those guys'? :s-smilie:

I am a very very reluctant Redpiller seeking relationship counselling for its effects.
Original post by Dodgypirate
I *do* trust her ... I'm just that, insecure ... In my two past relationships, when someone asked for "space", all my alarms were on telling me "she's going to end it with you", which was the case.

But with my current GF, when she said she needed "2 weeks for things to settle", I reacted the same way, but instead of letting her know ... I just gave the space.

You sound very similar to her ... I think she might forget, unknowingly, that we're together or something.

She really is determined to getting a into Master's degree next year in Bath, which is actually only 40 mins from where I am. She also mentioned a while back that she wanted us to move in together!

Bath might be a good place for the Master's she wants, but is she going there for us too?


You sound like you're being a bit self-centred about this - her desire for space has nothing to do with you, she has a lot of work to do, is likely as simple as that!

You need to get used to the idea that your relationship is not the most important thing in her life right now, she is rightly prioritising her degree over it. You should want to support her in that. Even if she does mostly want to go to Bath because it's the best uni for her master's, so what, she's being smart about things.

Just suck it up right now, encourage her with her coursework, and look forward to spending more time together in the Summer.

If she wants to break up with you, she will, regardless of what you do or think about it - you can't control people, so there's no point making this bigger than it needs to be, just go with the flow and support her.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by JBurt
Please do not take this personally, but

Just relax, take it easy and problems tend to work themselves out. Besides, both of you have your whole lives ahead of you don't become wrapped up in this as it will ultimately affect the relationship and yourself.

My advice, keep your distance (not literally), but keep in close contact and show that you support and admire her decision to concentrate on her work. Yes, it may hurt you that she is not 100% dedicated to you atm, but she has her own life to live and if a degree is what she wants to do, respect that and support her and if she has any sense she will realise that you want the best for her.

Relationships are essentially an elongated compromise, and if the compromise does not work for both of you it may not be right...But if your love is strong the relationship will last through everything, and this will almost certainly be the case

Also, about other people telling you to check on her and see if she is available for others etc, please do not do this as this will ultimately come back to haunt you, as she will see it as that you do not trust her. It will also hurt you more, if you find something out

Please do not see this as me disagreeing with you, as I fully support and understand your problem, but just realise both of you have your own lives...


haha I cannot conceive of a gf making this compromise in reverse, sorry to say.
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
you're laughing but, without preying on your insecurities too much…your last partners did break up with you when they needed 'space'. :frown: You will come to realise how toxic your position as bf truly is if you cannot maintain dominance in some form.


Original post by Smash Bandicoot
who are 'those guys'? :s-smilie:

I am a very very reluctant Redpiller seeking relationship counselling for its effects.



One of those guys, indeed :biggrin:

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