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    At this moment in my life i am not happy with anything that is happing with it from my college course i hate i am only doing it as i am one exam away from a degree and i have to to do it after 4 years doing it and i just don't think i have the brains to work in computers after all this time.

    Then with what gets me is my love life this is the most upsetting part of my life as everyone thinks i am a complete player with girls and i will flirt away with anything that moves who has a tattoo and so on and that i am basically a complete slut that is what everyone is thinking.

    Tonight i went out with friends to the pub before hand and i can tell no one what so ever wonted me to be there and so i just got on with it quietly drinking with myself and then the muttere student started flirting with me and basically wonted to get off with me and i said no as you don't **** where you eat so i was like ok stop drinking witch i did then i got a massage of a girl that i know who wonted to see me and i was like lads ok i am moving to the night club and anyone is freely aloud to come with me as i am seeing where this gos with her and of course with my life it gos no where she dosint massage me again so i am left in the nightclub by myself.

    This is where my life gos **** i am mostly by myself and i am not happy with being by myself i just won't some one around to talk to me and keep me happy this is where i start to talk to any old girl in the nightclub just to have some one to talk to and after getting off with maybe 7 girls i am like i don't won't this i just won't some one to love me and be happy with and i have tried everywhere from tinder to online dating to going out to met someone and notting what so ever.

    But there a few weeks ago i was thinking after metting this girl that was it i found what i was looking for after all these years off looking for girls a 5ft 10 size 8 cloves in all the right places and she seemed into me. WE where talking and txting for days and we seem to get on great and then we met up again and we done the major mistake of sleeping with each other i kissed her and she wonted me badly and as a stupid stupid lad i said yes to sex and then we had a few more dates and they where going really well and txting was also going really well she wonted me to met her friends and i said ok no problem and i met them but on that night i turned into a over protective ******* on her towards a lad who was flirting with her and said to him i won't to box you. Then that same night she did come back to mine and dint leave to late the next day and later that day i got a txt and it was completely over as she didn't like the way i reacted to the guy who was flirting with her.

    Since then i have been felling like crap basicly and then i got a massage from a fiend who i was fiends with for ages and she said she cant be fiends as her boyfriend is not happy with her massageing me anymore as he is afard of me making a move on her witch i would never do as she's not my type and she is just a friend and i view it as that. She removed me everything so i cant get into touch with her.

    Then i had a crazy dream last night about my sister dieing of canser and lung cancer and i nearly had a panic attack the min i woke up as i never had something as dark as this in my life about one of my family members as i love her to much for something to happen to her and i have just been thinking WTF since then.

    My life at the moment is just one huge **** up with notting going for it what so ever and i just don't know how to get myself out of it as i just won't happiness of some short to keep me going as i lie in bed for hours just looking at the roof going what did i do with myself to end up like this as all i won't is someone to love me.

    Get over girls.
    Focus on your education.
    You say you're struggling - get help now.

    "i got a massage from a fiend"

    Sorry, but that cracked me up!

    that was so difficult to read.

    Read this topic and see how people live. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...1#post53132325

    You are a man and I see is crying, whining, moaning. Do some sports to raise your confidence. If you do not want to work with computers do it for a year or two, save money and risk into something completely different - something that will bring you joy. Look for an adventure - be a teacher in Russia, entertainer in Cyprus or whatever. Consider volunteering. Helping and reaching out others will bring you more joy than anything in this world.
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Updated: January 23, 2015
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