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Ex still has a box of things about me. Is this normal? Watch

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    We were together for about 3 months and it was an intense three months where we thought we were in love and emotions got the best of us. We mutually broke up because we were in different stages in our lives (he wanted kids, I'm still at uni and want to start my career first).

    We have some mutual friends and I found out about the box a few weeks ago. He has it open in his room by his bed. I emailed him requesting to throw it all away. He said he had but our mutual friend sent me a picture of it yesterday.

    It has lots of pictures of me (some of us together in photobooths). Letters I wrote him. The straw and bottle lid I drank from, from our first date :lolwut: I bought him a T shirt and Socks, he'd never worn them, put them in the box... Dried up old blue rose he gave me when we first met. An old ring of mine (i actually want that back). And a scrapbook with receipts and sketches I drew of him or for him. And so much other stuff.

    We've both moved on and he's seeing someone else. I know the girl he's seeing and she's lovely, older and wants to have children too. Is this normal? How can I make him throw something away?
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    The only really weird thing here is maybe that he is keeping it open by his bed? Keeping memories is a nice thing, and even if you have parted ways and moved on (as he seemingly has?) it can be nice to sometimes look at things from the past?

    If you want that ring of yours back, you should tell him that. If it's yours, that's only right. But you can't really make him throw the other stuff away. Maybe it's still out in his room because it's been fairly recently? As time goes on, I'm sure he'll pack it away, and probably only look at it occasionally / hardly ever.
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    It's quite disturbing that he's keeping a box of memories, especially a straw you drank from (?!?!?!) when you weren't together even that long.

    Ask him if you can have the stuff back which you want. I'm guessing in time, and as his relationship with his new lady will continue, he will come to his senses and chuck the box of stuff away. I guess when we let our emotions run away with us after a break up we can sometimes react a bit strangely. You really must have hooked him

    Think it's kinda cute you wrote him letters and did sketches for him though
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    I've got a memory box where I keep a few items of my past relationships. Won't throw that away for nobody!! Just get over it, OP.
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    i keep things as memories of my ex (first love) and if im honest its a comfort thing for me


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    Depends how you broke up.

    If it was a mutual parting of ways then I'd understand him doing that. DW as his new relationship blossoms he should get rid of it out of sight. He just wants to cherish the memories.

    However if it was a bad break up which doesn't sound like it was then it would be a bit weird
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    that mutual friend is a snake
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    (Original post by og.east)
    that mutual friend is a snake
    Haha, sure is XD
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    3 months? Beta much!?
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    3 months? Beta much!?
    we thought we were in love...

    (Original post by og.east)
    that mutual friend is a snake

    How? They're looking out for me. I'm closer to that friend that my ex is, and he knew he would tell me. Why didn't he just put the box away? My pictures were all out, scattered on his bedside table

    (Original post by c_k62)
    i keep things as memories of my ex (first love) and if im honest its a comfort thing for me


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    But he's 29 and I don't think I was his first love. Yes, I did change his life (I introduced him to a contact of mine that offered him a project in Japan) and some other stuff.

    (Original post by rotkäppchen)
    The only really weird thing here is maybe that he is keeping it open by his bed? Keeping memories is a nice thing, and even if you have parted ways and moved on (as he seemingly has?) it can be nice to sometimes look at things from the past?

    If you want that ring of yours back, you should tell him that. If it's yours, that's only right. But you can't really make him throw the other stuff away. Maybe it's still out in his room because it's been fairly recently? As time goes on, I'm sure he'll pack it away, and probably only look at it occasionally / hardly ever.
    We were sort of engaged, we planned kids and everything. It was a proper whirlwind romance. We broke up in September, so it's been 3/4 months.
    I do want the ring back, but now it'll just have memories of him so I don't want it. And I don't want to meet him, as I know the break up was mutual, but I initiated it. We were both heart broken but it was for the best. I just don't feel comfortable of all the pictures, I know it's the same as someone saving pics from Facebook or something. But he always carried a Fujifilm polaroid camera and took a LOT of pics of me and they developed straight away.

    (Original post by Ahava)
    It's quite disturbing that he's keeping a box of memories, especially a straw you drank from (?!?!?!) when you weren't together even that long.

    Ask him if you can have the stuff back which you want. I'm guessing in time, and as his relationship with his new lady will continue, he will come to his senses and chuck the box of stuff away. I guess when we let our emotions run away with us after a break up we can sometimes react a bit strangely. You really must have hooked him

    Think it's kinda cute you wrote him letters and did sketches for him though

    I know, I was kind of freaked out about that I don't even remember him taking it.

    The things you do when you think you're in love right I don't regret the letters or hours I spent sketching. It's all a part of life really. If I was older, we would have been perfect. One of those things really...
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    Reminded me of this.

    http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/20...ty-d30ywik.jpg
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    OMG :shock: :erm:
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    (Original post by germanium)
    we thought we were in love...
    Blessums
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    It's common. It can take years to want to throw away this stuff, even when you've moved on. It's of no consequence, or business, to you so don't worry about it.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    It's common. It can take years to want to throw away this stuff, even when you've moved on. It's of no consequence, or business, to you so don't worry about it.
    It is my business. When there's pictures of me
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    (Original post by germanium)
    It is my business. When there's pictures of me
    I guess they're his property and post break up you have little influence on what he does. And in truth if he is only keeping them in a box and looking at them occasionally I don't see any skulduggery. Not allowed to have pictures of an ex??
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    I still have the shoe my first girlfriend's kid splattered paint on, the socks given to me as a replacement by a girl I saw for a while after I somehow puked in my shoe, and the leather combat boots I shagged a vegan while wearing. Relationship mementos are perfectly normal.
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    (Original post by germanium)
    It is my business. When there's pictures of me
    I wouldn't worry too much. It's a little intense, but he's in another relationship and he's not stalking you or anything - it obviously hurt him to break up, and this is his way of coping. Be glad to have someone love you that much. So long as he's not interfering with your life now, it's kind of cute he wants to keep the memories.
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    (Original post by 4Skin)
    I still have the shoe my first girlfriend's kid splattered paint on, the socks given to me as a replacement by a girl I saw for a while after I somehow puked in my shoe, and the leather combat boots I shagged a vegan while wearing. Relationship mementos are perfectly normal.
    :rofl: you my friend have made my evening bahahah
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    (Original post by germanium)


    I know, I was kind of freaked out about that I don't even remember him taking it.

    The things you do when you think you're in love right I don't regret the letters or hours I spent sketching. It's all a part of life really. If I was older, we would have been perfect. One of those things really...
    Of course not, it's really nice that you gave and were sentimental in the relationship, even though it didn't work out. Better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. It's a real shame when a relationship fails just because the timing isn't right. It really is just one of those things. C'est la vie.

    I'm sure he'll get rid of the box soon enough haha! Don't worry.
 
 
 
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