The Student Room Group

How do I tell my flatmate that I want to live alone next year?

I live with my best friend at the moment and at the start of term it was ok. We're both in our second year of uni, we get on really well and we love each other to pieces but we're two completely different people.

It's now three weeks into the second term and I'm unbelievably stressed about living here, especially because we've agreed to live here again in third year, (but that's when things were ok).


The things that are stressing me out are the fact that her boyfriend that she got at the end of last year is here 90% of the time. I get on with him really well and stuff but I don't feel comfortable here any more. I can't have a shower when I want because we share the bathroom and there's only enough water in the tank for two showers until it heats up again, so usually it's used by them or I have to put the boost on which means the electricity bill is going to be higher.

My Flatmate likes to share everything and do everything together, which doesn't sound so bad but I've made a lot of compromises when we go food shopping because she doesn't eat certain things, and to make matters worse we have to consider what her boyfriend likes to eat as well.

We also pay for electric and recently she's been using the washing machine every day and putting the boost on at least once a day. She earns more than me so she can afford it but I don't think its fair that I'm still expected to pay half when I use a third of what she uses. She did say that if she carries on she'll pay an extra £10 to the bill but it's still very costly and still stressing me out.

So, Ive decided I want to live alone next year, you may think I'm being selfish or petty but I've been through a hell of a lot this year and I really can't cope with the stress. She knows that I'm very independent and enjoy my solitude, but I don't think she understands that I don't Like to be intruded and manipulated. I would love to have my own personal space next year, somewhere where I can control all parts of my life to a certain extent because I think that's what I need after everything that's happened to me.

Please do understand that I do care about this girl an awful lot, I just don't think I can do it for another year. I didn't plan to write this much!

I just need some advice about how to tell her. She's very sensitive, takes everything personally and is quick to anger, (she's also hilarious and there when I need her)

Please help!!! :confused:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Dougieeee
I live with my best friend at the moment and at the start of term it was ok. We're both in our second year of uni, we get on really well and we love each other to pieces but we're two completely different people.

It's now three weeks into the second term and I'm unbelievably stressed about living here, especially because we've agreed to live here again in third year, (but that's when things were ok).


The things that are stressing me out are the fact that her boyfriend that she got at the end of last year is here 90% of the time. I get on with him really well and stuff but I don't feel comfortable here any more. I can't have a shower when I want because we share the bathroom and there's only enough water in the tank for two showers until it heats up again, so usually it's used by them or I have to put the boost on which means the electricity bill is going to be higher.

My Flatmate likes to share everything and do everything together, which doesn't sound so bad but I've made a lot of compromises when we go food shopping because she doesn't eat certain things, and to make matters worse we have to consider what her boyfriend likes to eat as well.

We also pay for electric and recently she's been using the washing machine every day and putting the boost on at least once a day. She earns more than me so she can afford it but I don't think its fair that I'm still expected to pay half when I use a third of what she uses. She did say that if she carries on she'll pay an extra £10 to the bill but it's still very costly and still stressing me out.

So, Ive decided I want to live alone next year, you may think I'm being selfish or petty but I've been through a hell of a lot this year and I really can't cope with the stress. She knows that I'm very independent and enjoy my solitude, but I don't think she understands that I don't Like to be intruded and manipulated. I would love to have my own personal space next year, somewhere where I can control all parts of my life to a certain extent because I think that's what I need after everything that's happened to me.

Please do understand that I do care about this girl an awful lot, I just don't think I can do it for another year. I didn't plan to write this much!

I just need some advice about how to tell her. She's very sensitive, takes everything personally and is quick to anger, (she's also hilarious and there when I need her)

Please help!!! :confused:


What if you say you want to try living more independently/alone next, in that you feel less independent having a roommate?
Original post by D_ecrivaine
What if you say you want to try living more independently/alone next, in that you feel less independent having a roommate?


Thank you so much for your reply but I think it's gonna take more than that, like I said she takes everything personally and I don't think she'll believe me if I just say 'don't take it personally'
Original post by Dougieeee
Thank you so much for your reply but I think it's gonna take more than that, like I said she takes everything personally and I don't think she'll believe me if I just say 'don't take it personally'


This might be helpful: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100203150925AAThgZm


Thank you that's helped a lot, I will tell her about my plans I just need to find the right time I think
Original post by Dougieeee
Thank you that's helped a lot, I will tell her about my plans I just need to find the right time I think


No problem, and that's good.
Why did you attach a pic of yourself?

Anyways glad it's sorted out. I only have one annoying brat of a housemate in halls
Original post by bittr n swt
Why did you attach a pic of yourself?

Anyways glad it's sorted out. I only have one annoying brat of a housemate in halls


I really don't know... I'm new to to this I thought it would go in the thumbnail thing, never mindddd :smile:

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