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    It was quite hard to think of a title but I'll try to explain. I live with 4 other girls and we all lived either with each other or were in adjoining corridors from first year. Going into 2nd year we were all friends.

    However since then the atmosphere where we live is getting worse. I often sleep at coursemate's houses just to keep away. We haven't had a falling out and I am not isolated intentionally but the other girls are much more friendly with each other than they are with me. The past week has been torture and I have come home for the weekend. I feel so alone and isolated but they are friendly to me. Its hard to explain.

    It makes me hate university because I feel so unwelcome where I live. I pick up extra hours at work just to avoid them which only makes things worse because they all become closer as a group.

    Should I suggest doing something the 5 of us and grit my teeth at how I feel I'm missing out on certain things? I don't know their 'in' jokes/gossip/chit-chat.

    I feel like I'm in a cycle of avoiding them and feeling more isolated when I come back or being where we live and feeling like an outsider. To those who say move out, I have a new room for the summer break and next year, I'm just struggling to live there right now.
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    Maybe you could speak to just one of them on her own and tell her how you feel? She is bound to tell the others,especially if she is close to them. If they are half -decent they will come up with some sort of a plan to try and include you,such as inviting you for a night out ,or knocking on your door to tell you there`s a good film about to start on TV if you wanted to come and watch it. It could be that they all think that you are happy with the set up,and maybe think you have lots of friends outside of where you live. Good luck.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Maybe you could speak to just one of them on her own and tell her how you feel? She is bound to tell the others,especially if she is close to them. If they are half -decent they will come up with some sort of a plan to try and include you,such as inviting you for a night out ,or knocking on your door to tell you there`s a good film about to start on TV if you wanted to come and watch it. It could be that they all think that you are happy with the set up,and maybe think you have lots of friends outside of where you live. Good luck.
    I probably should have mentioned that I did bring this up with two of them (together). My work schedule changed so that I would be working a Friday night when they had planned to go for a meal. They didn't ask me to go and kept talking out the "girls night out". I just said that it was making me feel left out but nothing has changed. I couldn't go but none of them knew the rota had changed. Speaking to half of them changed nothing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I probably should have mentioned that I did bring this up with two of them (together). My work schedule changed so that I would be working a Friday night when they had planned to go for a meal. They didn't ask me to go and kept talking out the "girls night out". I just said that it was making me feel left out but nothing has changed. I couldn't go but none of them knew the rota had changed. Speaking to half of them changed nothing.
    If this is the case then they are likely not worth being friends with. You're worth more, learn to enjoy your own company, focus on study, and have plenty of leisure time with other people. Don't feel bad about them. You shouldn't have to grovel to be included. Just my two cents.
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    (Original post by xleoanimusx)
    If this is the case then they are likely not worth being friends with. You're worth more, learn to enjoy your own company, focus on study, and have plenty of leisure time with other people. Don't feel bad about them. You shouldn't have to grovel to be included. Just my two cents.
    I like this! I want to remain friends but I don't feel like I should bother. Thank-you. This was the reality check I needed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I like this! I want to remain friends but I don't feel like I should bother. Thank-you. This was the reality check I needed.
    Don't mention it I've struggled trying to fit in with people and be included before and it's not worth it. Being alone can be a great thing I tend to spend most of my time alone, studying etc. and then hang out with the 2 genuine friends I have. Don't understand why some people need a huge group of friends to feel whole, but everyone is different I guess.
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    The more you try to avoid your housemates, the more of an outsider you will become. You mention there being an atmosphere in the house, but you say the girls are friendly to you. The only thing they seem to have done is arrange a night out when you were at work. Have you tried planning something for a night everyone is free?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It was quite hard to think of a title but I'll try to explain. I live with 4 other girls and we all lived either with each other or were in adjoining corridors from first year. Going into 2nd year we were all friends.

    However since then the atmosphere where we live is getting worse. I often sleep at coursemate's houses just to keep away. We haven't had a falling out and I am not isolated intentionally but the other girls are much more friendly with each other than they are with me. The past week has been torture and I have come home for the weekend. I feel so alone and isolated but they are friendly to me. Its hard to explain.

    It makes me hate university because I feel so unwelcome where I live. I pick up extra hours at work just to avoid them which only makes things worse because they all become closer as a group.

    Should I suggest doing something the 5 of us and grit my teeth at how I feel I'm missing out on certain things? I don't know their 'in' jokes/gossip/chit-chat.

    I feel like I'm in a cycle of avoiding them and feeling more isolated when I come back or being where we live and feeling like an outsider. To those who say move out, I have a new room for the summer break and next year, I'm just struggling to live there right now.
    As someone else mentioned buddy, you are worth 10 x more than them. Invite your friends over while they are there, and show them that you dont need them. They will be begging for your friendship. ^^
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    (Original post by DarkMagic)
    The more you try to avoid your housemates, the more of an outsider you will become. You mention there being an atmosphere in the house, but you say the girls are friendly to you. The only thing they seem to have done is arrange a night out when you were at work. Have you tried planning something for a night everyone is free?
    I don't really want to list everything that has happened but the meal is not the only thing. I have tried and we've done it once but it doesn't help. They still kept their 'inside jokes' going, as I am just one and there are four of them.

    (Original post by JamesNeedHelp2)
    As someone else mentioned buddy, you are worth 10 x more than them. Invite your friends over while they are there, and show them that you dont need them. They will be begging for your friendship. ^^
    I will invite my friends over, thanks for the idea.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I probably should have mentioned that I did bring this up with two of them (together). My work schedule changed so that I would be working a Friday night when they had planned to go for a meal. They didn't ask me to go and kept talking out the "girls night out". I just said that it was making me feel left out but nothing has changed. I couldn't go but none of them knew the rota had changed. Speaking to half of them changed nothing.
    it sounds like you may have made it sounds like they were leaving you out of this one thing rather than overall? maybe you should try again
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    it sounds like you may have made it sounds like they were leaving you out of this one thing rather than overall? maybe you should try again
    That's a good point. When the opportunity arises I'll try and say something.
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    I know how this feels and its horrible. I moved but had similar problems elsewhere. Just go with what makes you comfortable, either suggest all doing something, maybe like the cinema where there's less talking and everyone is in their own zone and there can be no leaving out. Either try your best to enjoy their company or look for somewhere you feel more at home for next year.
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    View things from the other person's point of view.

    What do they think of you ? and why ?
    What do you want them to feel towards you ?
    How do you want them to feel ? and view you ?
    How could I change this ?
    What behaviours and character attributes could I adopt to get along better with them ?
    What am I doing that is upsetting/annoying them ?
 
 
 
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