The Student Room Group

Why do you wait till after marriage?

We always here why horny chavs and other people like AlphaLADs don't wait to have sex and I don't judge them either way as that's how they were brought up or view their morals...

but what what are your personal reasons for waiting to have sex until after marriage?

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I'd say it's pretty non existant in this day and age tbh.
Religion is the biggest factor

Other than that I don't see why waiting will serve any purpose....
Reply 3
Crazy indoctrination and family pressures, which off course lead to premature ill advised marriages.
Reply 4
I'll ignore the sarcasm, want genuine personal reasons.
Reply 5
Original post by kumon
I'll ignore the sarcasm, want genuine personal reasons.


I don't believe there is a 'personal' reason apart from religion and family pressure.
Reply 6
Original post by lNurl
I don't believe there is a 'personal' reason apart from religion and family pressure.

I'm sure that's a lie, i've heard people say it, just waiting for them to respond....
Reply 7
Original post by kumon
I'm sure that's a lie, i've heard people say it, just waiting for them to respond....


If u have already heard them , why would you ask this question again?
Reply 8
I had that mentality to save my first time for the "love of my life" but then I realised people don't deserve that kind of respect.


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Reply 9
Well I have always been a Catholic but I kind of deviated of it a bit when I went to college. Then I was open to the idea of having sex providing I was in a serious relationship. I got a few failed relationships in college so I didn't lose my virginity then.

Then when I got to uni I got my first proper relationship and it still didn't feel right to do it so I didn't. The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out and as I moved on with life I got to understand that this is all young guys want. They just want to sleep with as many girls as they can and maybe be 'virgin slayers' sometimes too.

On top of that, last year I got much closer to my religion and I just decided it was better to wait.
I think religion/upbringing is a big factor in this.

Along with some people being very "emotional" about sexual intercourse, I can see the fear of not wanting to be known as a whore/slut as well.

I think certain people get very emotionally attached with people they have sex with, I think there is that instinct in us all, but some peoples emotions are stronger, almost obsessive, so I think waiting till marriage is sort of a safe guard against forming strong emotion with someone who will not be with you/marry you. Knowing the person you are sleeping with is in love with you and has taken vows to you only is sort of guaranteeing yourself emotional stability.

There are of course the opposite type of people who are promiscuous, form little emotional bond. Still fine. As long as humans are reproducing!
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by catsis
Well I have always been a Catholic but I kind of deviated of it a bit when I went to college. Then I was open to the idea of having sex providing I was in a serious relationship. I got a few failed relationships in college so I didn't lose my virginity then.

Then when I got to uni I got my first proper relationship and it still didn't feel right to do it so I didn't. The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out and as I moved on with life I got to understand that this is all young guys want. They just want to sleep with as many girls as they can and maybe be 'virgin slayers' sometimes too.

On top of that, last year I got much closer to my religion and I just decided it was better to wait.


When will you be close enough to be a nun instead?
for religious reasons, and also because I don't consider sex to be something you do with just anyone, and also because where I'm from, most guys only think about sex, they pretend to be nice and everything until they get sex and then they break up with the girl .. An other factor is I don't want to risk being pregnant, and also don't want to get any sexual disease. So yeah I 'll wait .
Reply 13
You guys apart from one are all ignoring the emotional aspect and how it breaks you.
My virginity is something I'm proud of and I'll never lose it for anyone except my spouse. I respect myself enough to not sleep around as I can wait till marriage, I can control my desires and I'm not desperate/craving for sex. Personally I think it's disgusting the way people sleep around. Look at all the teenage pregancies, unwanted children, diseases that come from it. What do you gain from it? Not as much as you lose.
Do you know what? I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I'm proud to say it. I'm happy with myself for not succumbing to peer pressure or how society thinks that men need to sleep around in order to look cool and tough. I think it's sad how men compete with each other in these worthless things. I have friends who tell me I'm 'missing out' but I don't care. I don't need to sleep around to have fun and never will. I expect my wife to be virgin too and so I'll also keep my side of the bargain. IMO guys who remain virgins till after marriage are the stronger ones as living in a society where there is constant temptation everywhere is extremely difficult, and I praise those who do not give in to those temptations. It takes a LOT of courage to do that. Especially when society is judging you 24/7. Well done for standing up for yourselves :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
My virginity is something I'm proud of and I'll never lose it for anyone except my spouse. I respect myself enough to not sleep around as I can wait till marriage, I can control my desires and I'm not desperate/craving for sex. Personally I think it's disgusting the way people sleep around. Look at all the teenage pregancies, unwanted children, diseases that come from it. What do you gain from it? Not as much as you lose.


You don't need to sleep around just because you aren't waiting to get married to have sex...

You could you know, just have sex with people who you are extremely comfortable with and have been in a relationship for a long time with.

Given that sex is what it is - one of the most important parts in sexual relationships- it seems downright silly to marry someone before you even do anything sexual with them.

"Oh I love your personality so much, I don't care about how you perform in bed".

"Oh, you're a sadist are you? Didn't expect that one, let me just spend tens of thousands getting a divorce :eek:"

I wonder if someone religious has married a transgender person without realising before lol?
Reply 17
I'm waiting . :smile: and no it's not from any pressure or religious regions.
Original post by TorpidPhil
You don't need to sleep around just because you aren't waiting to get married to have sex...

You could you know, just have sex with people who you are extremely comfortable with and have been in a relationship for a long time with.

Given that sex is what it is - one of the most important parts in sexual relationships- it seems downright silly to marry someone before you even do anything sexual with them.

"Oh I love your personality so much, I don't care about how you perform in bed".

"Oh, you're a sadist are you? Didn't expect that one, let me just spend tens of thousands getting a divorce :eek:"

I wonder if someone religious has married a transgender person without realising before lol?


Silly to marry someone before doing anything sexual with them? I would say
the opposite. How do you know that's the person you're going to spend the rest of your life together with? How do you know that person isn't using you?
And um yeah, I would choose personality over 'how well a person performs in bed'. Do you base your relationships on just sex or what?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Silly to marry someone before doing anything sexual with them? I would say
the opposite. How do you know that's the person you're going to spend the rest of your life together with? How do you know that person isn't using you?
And um yeah, I would choose personality over 'how well a person performs in bed'. Do you base your relationships on just sex or what?


I said you could just choose not to have sex with those who you are not in a long-term relationship with and don't fully trust or expect to be with for a long time.

Essentially you have sex with that at the point at which you otherwise would see them as marry-material. Now, obviously if you are religious that just isn't an option. I'm an atheist though and have no intention of getting married but as a 19 year old virgin I have no intention of going around sleeping with people for sex and nothing else either really. I'de rather have sex for its intimacy or it hardly seems worth the effort.
(edited 9 years ago)

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