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    Sorry for the long post i didnt know what was important to mention and what was not..

    Me and my boyfriend were together for just over 4 years.

    We split up a few days ago on the basis that right now we cant make time for eachother, I've moved away to uni and hes currently revising for his exams at sixth form and has a place for uni in September. I have a job which takes up most of my free time as im trying to save up for a car with the money i earn and put it towards my accommodation fees too. He LOVES football and its always been a part of him. He plays for two teams and works on other days so its difficult to find time for each other.

    Anyhow, we decided to break up on the basis that we cant right now make time for each other. I didnt expect him to show any emotions and try to play it cool but he broke down crying and tried to reassure me that he wasnt letting this happen because he didnt love me but because he thought it was the best for both of us right now and he wanted me to concentrate on my work and making some new friends.

    He then asked me to get my pinky read (like your going to make a "pinky" promise with your little finger) and said "you dont have to promise me this but i want to promise you anyway so you know how much you mean to me" and then he said that he is willing to save himself for me and not do anything with anyone else and come back to me when the time is right and we both have time for the relationship. He then asked me if id promise to do the same which i did and we pinky promised (its a thing of ours).

    He said we will know when the time is right and he wont keep me waiting long and he will come back for me and we can move on from this knowing we have both been loyal to each other (we have both only been with each other sexually)

    We said goodbye and he walked home and later that night he text me saying "Please wait for me.. i meant every last word and every kiss, ive promised it not to be our last! I give you all my love and trust. Yours forever X"


    I dont know what im actually asking for but does anyone have any advice on how i should speak to him when he texts me out the blue asking how i am? (lovingly, friendly etc?) If he asks me for a catch up to go for something to eat or anything should i accept? im confused as to whether im supposed to show my love for him still or dye it down and act more friendly..

    Advice would be well appreciated, thanks for reading.
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    He's probably balls deep in some other chick as we speak.
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    (Original post by Scoobiedoobiedo)
    He's probably balls deep in some other chick as we speak.
    Don't listen to this guy....
    I would go off of him, he sounds like an emotional guy but you can never be too sure. Think of it like you're seeing a very dear friend, so friendly but not over the top.
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    (Original post by Scoobiedoobiedo)
    He's probably balls deep in some other chick as we speak.
    Oh my God that made me laugh!
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    (Original post by D_ecrivaine)
    Don't listen to this guy....
    I would go off of him, he sounds like an emotional guy but you can never be too sure. Think of it like you're seeing a very dear friend, so friendly but not over the top.
    And he can't be an emotional guy because?
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    Sounds like an odd set up you've got now, like a mix between being on a break and being in a long-distance relationship.

    If the two of you are so keen on being together and "saving yourselves", why have you kind of broke up? Personally, I don't believe in going on breaks, which is what this sounds like. It's like acting like your in a relationship without actually being in one.

    I think the two of you should talk it over and either decide on long-distance (which is difficult and requires work from both parties, but possible) or breaking up (short-term pain but better in long-term). Going from 4 year relationship to "friends that agree never to have sex with other people or even each other" sounds quite distressing in the long-term.
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    So he's using you as an insurance policy ( making you promise to stay true).

    Hmm, no one who is really in love with another person 'can't find time for them.'

    He can find time for his hobbies, football etc. and things , like studying, which he finds important now.

    So we come to the conclusion that you rank below football, below studying. Well you certainly know where you stand with this charmer.

    You will always stand last in line as far as he is concerned. There will always be things he values above you - his work, his friends, his family.... is this what you want? When you have your first child he won't be able to be with you because there will be an important meeting he'll miss. When you fall ill, he'll have to keep the promise to his mates to go out with them etc. etc.

    He's a cold fish, a selfish self-centred person. Run a mile.

    Text, ring, email him ( he's barely worth a meeting) and say that you feel that you are worth more than this and you are breaking your promise as you think he was putting undue emotional pressure on you. Promises given under duress have no validity.

    Think positive. You have found out his real feelings for you ( he doesn't have any) and now you can look for someone more worthy of you.
    Much better than finding out when you have married him or had children with him, isn't it?
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    (Original post by ilem)
    And he can't be an emotional guy because?
    I didn't say he couldn't be


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    OMG. i was in the same position as you in september and funnily, i wrote a similar thread! anonomously too!!!

    he cheated on me in june, and was covering it up really well. he lied to his friends and his family saying that he doesnt like anyone else. etc. the last thing he told me in september was exactly what yours said. he said wait for him, 3 years. and he'll come back to me and we'll get married etc. i was in pain from september. so lonely. so hurt. so broken. so many questions for why he'd say that and block me off everything, not pick up my calls or reply to my texts. i was blaming myself, but not one bit did i suspect that he has other sidechicks! We girls are too goood for some guys i tell you!

    I only found out what the truth was when i logged into his email account - which funilly was the same password as it was 4 and half years ago.. and in his email were pictures.. of him and her..... i didnt expect that from him after alll these years together!!!


    Im broken. so so so heart broken. but leaving that aside, guys try to hide things so they wont hurt us. esp after being in a relationship for 4 years! He's going, hes decided to go.. so let him be. tell him to take care.. and wish him well....


    But seriously giiirrrll!!! Move on. Youre in uni now - dont make sacrifices like i made! Its not worth it. if anything, Private message me! Ill give you a little pep talk :P
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    As someone who is now just under two weeks newly single after a relationship of just under a year (god that was specific), you'll forgive me for being a bit disenchanted with the whole idea of love.

    I loved her more than she loved me, and she ended it, which was for the best - but it helped me realise that there's no point in taking love seriously when you're both at tumultuous periods of your life. After the summer exams, I'll be moving to Germany for a gap year, and she'll be at uni. It was probably naive to think it'd ever work, but the up shot of being single is that you're free to live life how you see fit. You aren't limiting yourself and your goals for the benefit of another person. Much as at the time of the break-up I would have been happy to accept the idea of reuniting after our lives had settled down - once the love isn't strong enough to stop you from going on a break, it's not worth your time anymore and you'd be better off with someone else.

    Yeah, you've been going out for a while, but it'll honestly be easier to cut the cords to him now. You're going through part of, if not all, of break-up pain. Even if you were able to stay celibate an reunite, it would never be the same again. You'd always doubt if he was as faithful to you as you were to him, you'd wonder if that hot guy who flirted with you at that party would've made a better life partner.

    Don't restrict yourself for his benefit, it's not worth it
 
 
 
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