gap year depressingly boring and stressful

uurrgghhh I think I made a mistake taking a gap year. I rejected my backup choice to go to southampton last year to do law as I wanted to reapply for a different subject and I think i kinda regret that decision now..... I work 8 hours a day as a office worker for a company 5 days a week for nearly 2 months now and Im sooo bored. I am the youngest person to work there by a long margain (im 18) so apart from some conversations with my colleagues I actually don't have much friends outside work at the moment. My friends from college have all left for university which is a real shame. So in effect when i come home or during the weekends I have nothing to do apart from TSR sometimes but no friends :frown:

. I used to play football for my club but my knees giving up on me and the doctors said I may need surgery on it so I can't play now. I recently passed my driving test so thats also so thats something that can't preoccupy me anymore. But honestly i don't know how much longer I can keep going for, I am starting to feel the stress of travelling to central London at 6 in the morning and the congestion and the overcrowding. I do wish I can make some new friends my age but i don't know where to find them due to my weekly timetable (I don't actually get home until 6 in the evening) and by the weekends I have to study for my retakes. So I really don't know what to do?

Any suggestions would seriously help!

Reply 1

Clubber Lang

15

Vincente

uurrgghhh I think I made a mistake taking a gap year. I rejected my backup choice to go to southampton last year to do law as I wanted to reapply for a different subject and I think i kinda regret that decision now..... I work 8 hours a day as a office worker for a company 5 days a week for nearly 2 months now and Im sooo bored. I am the youngest person to work there by a long margain (im 18) so apart from some conversations with my colleagues I actually don't have much friends outside work at the moment. My friends from college have all left for university which is a real shame. So in effect when i come home or during the weekends I have nothing to do apart from TSR sometimes but no friends :frown:

. I used to play football for my club but my knees giving up on me and the doctors said I may need surgery on it so I can't play now. I recently passed my driving test so thats also so thats something that can't preoccupy me anymore. But honestly i don't know how much longer I can keep going for, I am starting to feel the stress of travelling to central London at 6 in the morning and the congestion and the overcrowding. I do wish I can make some new friends my age but i don't know where to find them due to my weekly timetable (I don't actually get home until 6 in the evening) and by the weekends I have to study for my retakes. So I really don't know what to do?

Any suggestions would seriously help!

Maybe leave your job for one that lets you start earlier and leave earlier so you have more free time might be a good start?

Meeting people? Thats tough - work somewhere that attracts young people - but thats usually in shops.

Reply 2

The J-Man

2

Where exactly do u work?......Maybe you should try visiting friends at uni over weekends, especially those in london.

Reply 3

sal33m

1

Vincente

uurrgghhh I think I made a mistake taking a gap year. I rejected my backup choice to go to southampton last year to do law as I wanted to reapply for a different subject and I think i kinda regret that decision now..... I work 8 hours a day as a office worker for a company 5 days a week for nearly 2 months now and Im sooo bored. I am the youngest person to work there by a long margain (im 18) so apart from some conversations with my colleagues I actually don't have much friends outside work at the moment. My friends from college have all left for university which is a real shame. So in effect when i come home or during the weekends I have nothing to do apart from TSR sometimes but no friends :frown:

. I used to play football for my club but my knees giving up on me and the doctors said I may need surgery on it so I can't play now. I recently passed my driving test so thats also so thats something that can't preoccupy me anymore. But honestly i don't know how much longer I can keep going for, I am starting to feel the stress of travelling to central London at 6 in the morning and the congestion and the overcrowding. I do wish I can make some new friends my age but i don't know where to find them due to my weekly timetable (I don't actually get home until 6 in the evening) and by the weekends I have to study for my retakes. So I really don't know what to do?

Any suggestions would seriously help!

dont worry about it so much, atleast you have a job! lol, but as long as ur earning money the possibilties are endless! you can go travelling at the end of the year or if you dont like your job why dont you apply for others e.g pt vacancies, and then quit this one! i feel exactly the same except i dont regret my decision, i just wish everything was going better...sigh....

Reply 4

bisous

I can relate to how you feel, I too am on a gap year but I hadn't planned it in advance (I ended up rejecting all my offers, accepted a place through Extra but rejected that too!) and for the past 2 months I just haven't known what to do with myself, to paraphrase that song lol. You're lucky you have a job, it's something to do isn't it? Plus you get paid :biggrin:

. It's not too late to submit a UCAS application if you've changed your mind about your course, and I'm sure you can just contact your uni and explain your situation.

If you have enough money behind you then you can go travelling, that's what I'm going to do. It doesn't have to cost the world, so long as you have even a few hundred quid then you'll be able to do something different to your current life, and you'll meet new people! :smile:

As for your current friends situation - again, I totally get it! I barely even speak to my 3 best friends from 6th form anymore (all at uni, and I think it is my fault, but that's another story...) and my best friend has a 9 to 5, 5 day a week job, so I'm not really Miss Popular, but I know that I'll be going away next year, and also, this is just a gap year. It's a transient stage in life, you may be lonely now but you'll make friends at university and move on from this. Also, sounds lame but try building your family relationships! That's what I've been doing and it's turned out well, I can talk to my 'rents about anything now. :smile:

Sorry if this post was long, boring, and not at all helpful to you, but I found that your situation is very similar to mine and I haven't told anyone about my current confusion and slight regret up to this point, so now I'm venting it :smile:

To be honest, most gappers go through this anyway, we have too much time to think :tongue:

Reply 5

Vincente

OP

14

none of my friends study in london. I actually work in "city of London" near Bloomsbury and not greater london.

Reply 6

username72629

You're a bit like me at the moment, i have one friend that is my age that i can go out places with. Everyone else i know is either alot older then me, in sixth form or at college.

I just make the most of when my friends come back into town.

Reply 7

a_t

16

You're a bit like me, except that for me from january I'm in China for 6 months then I'm off to Japan for a month :biggrin:

Just meet friends at uni on weekends, that's what I'm doing, and work at a shop with other young people.

[edit/] Oh, you have resits. That sucks

Reply 8

Jammin1984

Without meaning to sound like a dick, welcome to the world of full time ****e work that you dont enjoy. Just stick with it it mate, it will be a great motivator once you get to uni.

I had two years out between school and college and im very much glad i did. For one you'll have matured a little and two its again great motivation. As in "im glad im not doing that till i retire, this degree may give me a chance to do something i enjoy".

's a transient stage in life, you may be lonely now but you'll make friends at university and move on from this. Also, sounds lame but try building your family relationships! That's what I've been doing and it's turned out well, I can talk to my 'rents about anything now.

Excellent adivce and plus if your earning a crust and dont really have too much to spend it on you can save.

Aditionally the more work experience on your CV the better. It shows you can hold down a full time job.

Reply 9

Vincente

OP

14

yeah its the resits thats the problem. My aunt whom is a civil servant in HK is actually looking for a translator and said I had the qualification to take that job however the resits mean I would have to come back in January and maybe June so i they won't recruit me.

Reply 10

Vincente

OP

14

Without meaning to sound like a dick, welcome to the world of full time ****e work that you dont enjoy. Just stick with it it mate, it will be a great motivator once you get to uni.

I never said I hate or not enjoy my job, its just the getting to work part and what to do outside my job thats really doing my head in.

Reply 11

Vincente

OP

14

Thanks Hanby for your post it does make me feel that im not the only one in this situation. Did you exceed expectation for your a levels and hence reapplied? Also what do you do for travelling??? Are you just thinking of going alone around countries and just sight seeing?

Reply 12

bisous

Well if you're prepared to take a bit of a gamble, you could always quit your job! *shock horror* And try to get work in a more sociable environment, like a bar, pub, club, etc. That way you could choose places easier to access, plus you'd have something to do at typically social times (evenings & weekends) and just study for your resits in the daytime.

It is a gamble though, I can vouch for it being easier said than done to get employment in a place you actually like! Good luck anyway though :smile:

EDIT: Sorry just saw your response to my post :smile:

I was predicted 3 A's and got AAB, so I underachieved I guess lol, but I rejected the offers becuause I didn't want to go to university when all was said and done (that was then and this is now! lol) I'm going to go to the South of France next spring, I can speak passably good French so I'll try for a waitressing job, and in the meantime, I'm earnign my accommodation and living costs by having 2 jobs (get me! lol). Yes, I am going to go alone, I've learned that I enjoy being independent in new situations :biggrin:

Reply 13

username72629

Vincente

Thanks Hanby for your post it does make me feel that im not the only one in this situation. Did you exceed expectation for your a levels and hence reapplied? Also what do you do for travelling??? Are you just thinking of going alone around countries and just sight seeing?

There are lots of people in your situation, i deffered the year the weekend i got my results as i thought i would enjoy a year off and that it would be good for me. Im only semi enjoying my year off but it's given me a chance to become happier by having less limitations on me and being able to completely be myself.

Reply 14

WorkHouse

12

I kinda know what your going through, If u want to PM me about it - thats cool man...

I started my gap year 3 weeks ago, i hated where i was at uni and knew i could do better so i cut my losses. I now work which isn't fun but, hell as my dad says "welcome to the real world". i'm looking at it as something which will keep my morale up for starting uni next year (if i ever get ucas out the ****ing way).

I'm learning to drive (but ur lucky enough to have bypassed that), i also am going (funds providing) to travel in the summer to random places i've always wanted.

i know it sounds totally gay but when i got home 3 weeks ago i made a list of all the things i wanted to achieve this year - to give me a kind of physical goal. u could try doing that... i put completely random **** like seeing the sun set in Ibiza again, singing an oasis song at the top of my lungs in Manchester and reading Dickens A Christmas Carol at christmas.

As a suggestion for the meeting people your own age, i've taken work in a call centre, with other students and young people in my area, others i know do bar work or even retail (it's not that bad, honest).

Reply 15

keyka

hey, I too am a lonely gapper, my closest friends are at uni, as is my boyf and the majority of friends who aren't at uni are going off travelling soon.
I'm working as an auxillary nurse, so I get to meet lots of people, and alot of the other nurses are students of about my age, so I have people to talk to at work, but I work on the bank so I move wards and don't have a chance to get to know and make friends with people. I've tried to overcome this by joining various groups, I've started volunteering at a Scout group, I'm helping to teach archery at my old school, I'm planning to join a BSL group and/or a social sport. So why not try doing something like that? Even if you only do it for a couple of weeks, and only meet one person you get on with, that person will have friends and you could suggest that you all go out together, so you get to meet a bunch more people. If you can't find anything like that to fit in around work, and you want to do something slightly less social, why not take up an instrument? It sounds really corny, but there must be something you can find that can help you get out more.
And to cure the work bordem- find a holiday that you want to go on, or something you want to buy for yourself, and think of the money you're earning to get that when its really bad. I carry postcards of Nepal around with me which i sit and look at on my breaks when I'm having a bad day and want to be in bed not cleaning up old people's poo, and that makes it all seem worth while, because if I don't work I know I can't afford to go there next year.

Good luck with it all, if it doesn't get any better then we can arrange a social for all of us friendless gappers!

Reply 16

Tag

8

I'm sort of in a gap year.

I didn't know what I wanted to do at uni so didn't apply last year. I'm trying to apply now but I still don't know. I'm currently doing extra alevels at college because it's free and seemed easier than getting a job (staying in education making it easier for next year and everything).

Apart from that, I'm sort of in the same boat. apart from studying, TSR, a few other forums and my weekend job, there isn't really much to do. At least you live in london, there's plenty to do there. my town has a cinema. with a total 2 screens. that's it, apart from restraunts. and pubs. but I have no money. and most of my friends are at uni/traveling/don't like drinking all the time. so yeah. you're better off than me at least :smile:

Reply 17

JellyBellyBaby

1

Hi Tag, you sound in a similar situation to me, was wondering if you'd mind a chat? age, sex, location? u have MSN?