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I 'like' my best friend.
Lets start with some clarifications. I'm male, and my new best friend is female. And my old best friend is male. Now that thats done, we can move on.
Last year I met this girl (who is about 18 months younger than me) and we instantly were friendly too each other and I had a crush on her (which she knew about), but she was more attracted to my then-best friend. After time we became more friendly (thanks to the magic that is drama). My then best friend was then exposed as the lieing, disgusting guy that he is and everyone sorta moved away from him. Since then I've become even better friends with this girl to the point now where we consider each other best friends. This means of course that we tell each other pretty much everything.
Now since I met her (well about 2 weeks after) she was going out with this guy. This guy didn't really trust me as me and the girl are quite close (I took her to my Year 13 ball for example). Recently (when I went to university) she was telling me that she was thinking about braking up with him (via text, msn etc.) and like...asked for my advice. And I was worried, cause it was about this time that I realised I liked her in 'that' way, that my advice would be biased and plus I have no experiance with relationships at all. But I gave the best advice I could and she followed it...and then broke up with her boyfriend.
Just before I came back home (because I withdrew from university) her ex-boyfriend went into hospital with something to do with his appendix and she got back together with him. I then returned home and I started to spend more time with her again. And she again confided in me that she'd made a mistake taking him back...and that she liked someone else (bare in mind I still like her!). She's now broken up with the boyfriend again but of course has now begun to told me of all these others she fancies...and I get really jealous, but I can't help it.
The thing is...I love being best friends with her...and if I didn't have her then I wouldn't have many other people (my other friends are either at university, moved on to other circles or attached to their computers) so I don't want to loose her as a friend. The thing that makes this even harder is that when she comes over, or I go to hers we're usually in each others bedroom, on the bed hugging and stuff (and she tickles me! lol sorry had to slip that in there) and she 'teases' me with like jokey flirting.
So anyway, sorry about rambling but the point is...I'm looking for advice on how to see her as a friend and not as...someone whom I 'like'. If you get me. Comical responses are OK...as they'll help me to cheer up..but I'd like some advice if possible. Even if you haven't got any advice just and feedback...or just a comment to say you read it all would be nice...cause I just felt I had to get it out there.
Thanks.
L.
Last year I met this girl (who is about 18 months younger than me) and we instantly were friendly too each other and I had a crush on her (which she knew about), but she was more attracted to my then-best friend. After time we became more friendly (thanks to the magic that is drama). My then best friend was then exposed as the lieing, disgusting guy that he is and everyone sorta moved away from him. Since then I've become even better friends with this girl to the point now where we consider each other best friends. This means of course that we tell each other pretty much everything.
Now since I met her (well about 2 weeks after) she was going out with this guy. This guy didn't really trust me as me and the girl are quite close (I took her to my Year 13 ball for example). Recently (when I went to university) she was telling me that she was thinking about braking up with him (via text, msn etc.) and like...asked for my advice. And I was worried, cause it was about this time that I realised I liked her in 'that' way, that my advice would be biased and plus I have no experiance with relationships at all. But I gave the best advice I could and she followed it...and then broke up with her boyfriend.
Just before I came back home (because I withdrew from university) her ex-boyfriend went into hospital with something to do with his appendix and she got back together with him. I then returned home and I started to spend more time with her again. And she again confided in me that she'd made a mistake taking him back...and that she liked someone else (bare in mind I still like her!). She's now broken up with the boyfriend again but of course has now begun to told me of all these others she fancies...and I get really jealous, but I can't help it.
The thing is...I love being best friends with her...and if I didn't have her then I wouldn't have many other people (my other friends are either at university, moved on to other circles or attached to their computers) so I don't want to loose her as a friend. The thing that makes this even harder is that when she comes over, or I go to hers we're usually in each others bedroom, on the bed hugging and stuff (and she tickles me! lol sorry had to slip that in there) and she 'teases' me with like jokey flirting.
So anyway, sorry about rambling but the point is...I'm looking for advice on how to see her as a friend and not as...someone whom I 'like'. If you get me. Comical responses are OK...as they'll help me to cheer up..but I'd like some advice if possible. Even if you haven't got any advice just and feedback...or just a comment to say you read it all would be nice...cause I just felt I had to get it out there.
Thanks.
L.
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Reply 2
I would die
If I kissed her
I would try
But I'm last on her list
She's so cool
And I'm so ugly
I'd be a fool
To think she could love me
This kind if girl's always out of reach
She's a PEACH!!
Beware the peach...no can have. Especially if you're a lemon and your best friend is one :P
If I kissed her
I would try
But I'm last on her list
She's so cool
And I'm so ugly
I'd be a fool
To think she could love me
This kind if girl's always out of reach
She's a PEACH!!
Beware the peach...no can have. Especially if you're a lemon and your best friend is one :P
The term best friend is being over used in this forum recently. and ''best friend'' is a pointless concept. The concept of love and friendship is hidden over a blurry feeling of vanity to keep ourselves from all committing mass suicide or the like.
''Social animals, dont you just love em? ''
''Social animals, dont you just love em? ''
Reply 5
Just Friends sounds pretty similar to my situation :P Thanks.
Oh and to the 'best friends' person I didn't really read nor understand what you said but it's to late to do so. But this person is truely the most I have ever connected with someone. This person is the only person I've ever really told stuff to and the only one I feel truely comfortable around. If that is not the meaning of 'best friend' then what is?
Oh and to the 'best friends' person I didn't really read nor understand what you said but it's to late to do so. But this person is truely the most I have ever connected with someone. This person is the only person I've ever really told stuff to and the only one I feel truely comfortable around. If that is not the meaning of 'best friend' then what is?
Anonymous
Just Friends sounds pretty similar to my situation :P Thanks.
Oh and to the 'best friends' person I didn't really read nor understand what you said but it's to late to do so. But this person is truely the most I have ever connected with someone. This person is the only person I've ever really told stuff to and the only one I feel truely comfortable around. If that is not the meaning of 'best friend' then what is?
Oh and to the 'best friends' person I didn't really read nor understand what you said but it's to late to do so. But this person is truely the most I have ever connected with someone. This person is the only person I've ever really told stuff to and the only one I feel truely comfortable around. If that is not the meaning of 'best friend' then what is?
Are you trying to make everyone sick or something?
Why are you asking me if ''it's too late to do so''? You obviously have your mind made up. It's just sad that people like you have to breed.
Reply 7
bloody good question
Reply 8
It's people like you that shouldn't be giving advice, Evil-Tuna.
Who actually takes any of the advice on here seriously? Not many. And I give helpful advice on other matters, but this type of situation is one that is always on here without fail, taking up several threads. The same old, ''oh god i love her and then she said she didnt love me in that way, but she text me sying that she was interested in my best friend who told me that she really liked me. i text her she didnt text back ... into infinity''.
If it wasnt on here that much I really wouldnt care, but its vaguely annoying and i feel like being a cynical bastard.
If it wasnt on here that much I really wouldnt care, but its vaguely annoying and i feel like being a cynical bastard.
Reply 10
But...if you read it I didn't say that I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I'm looking for advice on how to not like her in that way because I just want us to be friends. So it's...slightly different. I'm not asking "Should I tell her?"
Did it ever occur to you that maybe she likes you 'in that way' (lol) as well? If she's always telling you about people she fancies but you're not showing her any obvious jealousy then she might just be getting more and more frustrated that you're not eliciting the reaction she wanted to provoke from you (dramatic declaration of undying love etc) and going into more and more detail about how she supposedly feels about these other guys. She might also be trying to see if you'll tell her whether or not you like someone, so she can gauge how open you'd be to getting together with her. I know I sure as hell wouldn't be rolling around on a bed with some guy if I thought of him totally platonically and wasn't trying to drop some pretty obvious hints. Of course I could be wrong and this advice could raise and then smash your hopes but the only way you're ever going to find out how she feels is just to do something. If you don't want to just say it then kiss her and see what happens. And if she's like, dude what the hell are you doing, then you'll know for sure and if the friendship is really that incredible and profoundly connecting you'll be fine anyway and just carry on being friends. Go crazy, you'll kick yourself in ten years time if you don't.
Anonymous
But...if you read it I didn't say that I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I'm looking for advice on how to not like her in that way because I just want us to be friends. So it's...slightly different. I'm not asking "Should I tell her?"
That makes little to no difference. I'm complaining about the genre of posts.
Reply 13
Thanks for that Jenny. 
Made me smile. I don't think that she does like me in 'that' way. Because...well I think she just thinks of me as a woman..or something I guess. I dunno. Damned drama making me rather camp.
Made me smile. I don't think that she does like me in 'that' way. Because...well I think she just thinks of me as a woman..or something I guess. I dunno. Damned drama making me rather camp.Reply 14
Can't edit the post above so I'll just have to post it here. I also look unattractive and she's...well she's not!
Reply 16
For the record I neg repped you.
Reply 17
I'm looking for advice on how to see her as a friend and not as...someone whom I 'like'.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago... there was a girl I really liked, and we became very friendly over the course of a year or so. In retrospect, I was probably infatuated... in any case, the way I got over liking her in that way was getting out there meeting other girls and having fun.
I realised that she wasn't so special, and although she was still cool to hang out with, her approval didn't mean much to me anymore.
Reply 18
Yes. Thanks. It's a little harder now that I'm home and will be working. But I'm going back to University next year which should provide a great opportunity to meet others.
Anonymous
Thanks for that Jenny. Made me smile.
Yes I am rather marvellous aren't I.
Anonymous
Can't edit the post above so I'll just have to post it here. I also look unattractive and she's...well she's not!
Seeing as I have no way of knowing what you look like I will give you the nice answer and say, don't put yourself down, everybody's attractive to someone and maybe she thinks you're better looking than you yourself believe. If you really are a total munt, well...girls aren't as shallow as guys? Also if you really are extremely camp maybe you should drop some not-so-subtle hints about hot girls in case she actually thinks you're gay.
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