Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Worried when girlfriend spends time apart from me... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey all,

    This thread is more of an emotional outpouring as opposed to a post about trust issues so I'll just write it all as it comes.

    Both me and my girlfriend tend to spend a lot of time together, in-between being at uni, and work, as we work together too, and attend the same uni we practically see each other 24/7.

    This extends to the fact that whenever she works she stops over at my parents house with me, as she works where I work and I live nearby my workplace (because of convenience).

    Recently however she has being seeing a lot of her friends (and whilst his isn't a problem) which makes me feel a little sad. I know it sounds selfish and all, but I'm just so used to being with her. To the point I feel un-human when I'm not with her.


    It has got so bad that I rarely even enjoy time with my close friends as much as I did from before, because I'm always thinking about her all the time. I seldom see my own friends, because they are always busy too, and our friendships aren't as strong as they once were.

    Whereas, for some reason she still sees her friends, and even though she does see them less, her friendships are much more solidified than mine are.

    She still has all her best close female friends and I kind of get a little jealous for attention when I see her enjoying herself with her mates, I kind of long for the same sort of situation. This is particularly true when I have had a bad day and I wish she was here with me. My mother thinks that I shouldn't be "reliant" on others.

    I guess I see it as her distancing herself from me, and that bothers me a bit. I guess its because we spent so much time together. I don't like being clingy but I don't deny that I am.

    Just the other day I asked her if she thinks I am "suffocating her" and she said "no no your not I like spending time with you". But recently, I don't get as many texts from her, as often. I maybe get the odd text.

    We recently got engaged- she asked me to marry her, but I just feel a little insecure that she may grow apart from me. I know it sounds irrational, but, I just feel that she'll miss the time with her friends more, and then have cold feet about us.

    Are my thoughts rational or am I just needy??
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    You're engaged - so you're going to spend "most" of your time with her, who, as you've said, has her own group of friends. Do you know when you can see your friends? Make sure your girlfriend can agree with you a time when both of you can hang out with your own group of friends
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey all,

    This thread is more of an emotional outpouring as opposed to a post about trust issues so I'll just write it all as it comes.

    Both me and my girlfriend tend to spend a lot of time together, in-between being at uni, and work, as we work together too, and attend the same uni we practically see each other 24/7.

    This extends to the fact that whenever she works she stops over at my parents house with me, as she works where I work and I live nearby my workplace (because of convenience).

    Recently however she has being seeing a lot of her friends (and whilst his isn't a problem) which makes me feel a little sad. I know it sounds selfish and all, but I'm just so used to being with her. To the point I feel un-human when I'm not with her.


    It has got so bad that I rarely even enjoy time with my close friends as much as I did from before, because I'm always thinking about her all the time. I seldom see my own friends, because they are always busy too, and our friendships aren't as strong as they once were.

    Whereas, for some reason she still sees her friends, and even though she does see them less, her friendships are much more solidified than mine are.

    She still has all her best close female friends and I kind of get a little jealous for attention when I see her enjoying herself with her mates, I kind of long for the same sort of situation. This is particularly true when I have had a bad day and I wish she was here with me. My mother thinks that I shouldn't be "reliant" on others.

    I guess I see it as her distancing herself from me, and that bothers me a bit. I guess its because we spent so much time together. I don't like being clingy but I don't deny that I am.

    Just the other day I asked her if she thinks I am "suffocating her" and she said "no no your not I like spending time with you". But recently, I don't get as many texts from her, as often. I maybe get the odd text.

    We recently got engaged- she asked me to marry her, but I just feel a little insecure that she may grow apart from me. I know it sounds irrational, but, I just feel that she'll miss the time with her friends more, and then have cold feet about us.

    Are my thoughts rational or am I just needy??
    You are extremey needy.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    You sound very needy to me. It's unhealthy to be with the same person 24/7. Maybe you need to get some friends / a hobby?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    It's good that you've acknowledged that this behavior isn't particularly healthy - now you need to change it.

    If you two are eventually going to get married and settle down together then it's essential to have your own lives. You need to reconnect with your own friends, or if you don't want to, find some news ones. Take up a hobby or a something as well.

    It's good that you love your girlfriend and have a nice relationship but in the long term it's not sustainable to be completely dependent on her. In actual fact, it would be a turn off for most women. Sort it out.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Extremely needy + emasculated. Not just a concern for your mental wellbeing but also for the sustainability of the relationship (women rarely respect such men)
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    seriously you need to find something else to do, meet up with your friends more and make an effort. She's not distancing herself, she just wants to see her friends, she obviously does love you if she asked you to marry her! You need to chill out otherwise you will push her away, your mum is right you shouldn't depend on anyone it will only hurt you in the end if you continue like this.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This situation concerns me. It's important to have a life apart, as well as a life together. Just because you're a couple, it doesn't mean that you should be attached to each other everywhere. In fact, when you spend time apart and socialize with your friends it is healthy for the relationship.

    Knock your behaviour on the head soon, and respect that she's an individual and not your possession. You could end up driving her away.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 24, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.