(please leave anon)
Ok, so I thought that it might be worth asking for advice here. I am in my first year at uni, having started in September, studying my dream course. I am quite a shy and quiet person, but I thought that uni could be my chance to change, so I really made an effort to get to know people, try and start conversations, get people's numbers, add them on FB... Now I don't have a massive group of friends, but I do have some. Though with many people I am still stuck in the awkward acquaintance stage. I have put down a deposit on a house for next year with a few friends, but the thought of moving in and living with them next year makes me feel physically sick. I have joined quite a few societies and try to go to as many meetings as I can make, so I have societies about 3 or 4 days a week normally. I like my course, and am finding it interesting, but due to other problems which I will explain momentarily, I am finding it hard to get involved and motivated.
Since the first day I have struggled with homesickness. It doesn't help that I am at least 4.5 hours on the train away from home (maybe 5 or 6 in the car?) I spent my entire first week sobbing in my room whenever I was not with people. Everyone kept saying that it would get better, I'd soon be over it and having a great time, but that hasn't happened. Yes, the uncontrollable crying and shaking and wanting to throw up all the time stopped, but it didn't leave completely. The entire first term I cried most days (at best about 3 times a week) and I kept getting this weird horrid feeling in my chest, like when you are scared for an exam or something, except most of the time. I couldn't get motivated or concentrate for any period of time, making work difficult. I just felt empty. I didn't want to do the things which I loved in school. For example, I adored choir in school, now I will make up any excuse to miss a rehearsal here. I don't really care about anything, I'm more like a shell of my usual self. The only things that can really make my happy here are the thought of going home and conversations with my 2 best friends (who live close to home) I tried not going home, but eventually I couldn't do it anymore and I had to go back for the weekend. Then I tried going home more often, but that didn't help much either (also that would be very impractical long term because it's really expensive and a long journey)
At Christmas I decided that I was going to be really positive, thinking this time I am going to make it work. I started breaking down before I even left home, just thinking about having to leave. I cried most of the journey back (embarrassing on the train) and when I got into my room in halls I lost it completely. Crying, hyperventilating, shaking, feeling sick, the works. Trouble is that I have exams, so I could not concentrate on revising for them because I was so upset. The full works lasted about 2 days, now I am back to numb. I have talked to my tutor and the uni counseling service, neither were of any use. My tutor just said he's sure it will get better and the counseling service said that I could register, but it would be at least 3-4 months before I could get an appointment. I just really don't know what to do or where to go from here. Help?
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Not Enjoying Uni/Homesickness watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-01-1970 02:00
- 25-01-2015 11:27
Did you not make any friends in your first year?