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Struggling to keep up conversations? watch

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    One of my major problems when it comes to socialising is my lack of ability to 'smalltalk'. Now, I'm not socially anxious or anything; I can talk and behave normally when in public. But when it comes to having conversations, I end up being 'excluded' from the conversation eventually, since I have nothing useful to contribute. This effect strengthens when talking to girls, however only the ones who are less 'open', i.e. they don't bother keeping a conversation alive.
    When talking individually with someone I may not know very well, we just kinda split up after a few minutes. Is this problem a part of one's personality or some sort of mental disorder? I feel that I may have a few symptoms associated with narcissism as I always feel that people shall appreciate my presence no matter what. Anyone who just kinda forgets about me I generate a negative attitude towards them.
    Any ideas?
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    I've had a bit of an issue with this a bit in the last several years, but it's gotten better for me in the last few years. I used to have some social anxiety issues where I question if anyone really cares what I have to say, etc. but I've tried to battle on, especially when I work in an office where we go out for dinner sometimes or have office get-togethers.

    What's worked for me is that I know I'm a better listener than a talker. So I tend to ask alot of questions to the person I'm speaking to and if they can answer it, I remain invested and try to ask some more stuff here and there. I tend to aborb what they've said so that I can ask a relevant follow up question. This method has helped me keep alot of conversations going, even if I personally don't know them that well.

    I try to smile alot, as it makes you more personable and looks like you care what the other person is saying. I don't have much confidence talking about myself out of thin air so if I start off by showing an interest in them, if they ask something about me then I approach that with a bit more accomplishment. It's what has worked for me anyway...
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    Yeh definitely smile a lot. Humour, a bit of sarcasm and the odd appreciative or empathetic nod goes a long way!

    I also have a self-deprecating sense of humour so that sometimes helps.
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    (Original post by Artur96)
    One of my major problems when it comes to socialising is my lack of ability to 'smalltalk'. Now, I'm not socially anxious or anything; I can talk and behave normally when in public. But when it comes to having conversations, I end up being 'excluded' from the conversation eventually, since I have nothing useful to contribute. This effect strengthens when talking to girls, however only the ones who are less 'open', i.e. they don't bother keeping a conversation alive.
    When talking individually with someone I may not know very well, we just kinda split up after a few minutes. Is this problem a part of one's personality or some sort of mental disorder? I feel that I may have a few symptoms associated with narcissism as I always feel that people shall appreciate my presence no matter what. Anyone who just kinda forgets about me I generate a negative attitude towards them.
    Any ideas?
    I also used to struggle to make small talks and even make new friends.

    My advice would be to just drag the conversation by asking open-ended questions and just drag the convo longer by you answering your own questions, then change the subject completely to something more enjoyable (even if it has to be weird), like telling a story about funny situations you've been in.
 
 
 
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