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Brother owes me £3000 and saying he's broke but he's going on holiday Watch

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    I lent my brother £3000 for his wedding (April 2014) and he has only paid back £100. I've requested so many times, and he says he doesn't have any money. Then I see on his wife's facebook that they're going Gran Canaria in June. What else can I do? I ask him all the time, atleast pay me back in monthly installments. He just becomes all aloof and sometimes even ignores me.

    I'm at Uni doing my Masters and am -£45 in my £1500 overdraft.
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    Could you try talking to his wife, and see if she's more reasonable? Or get other family members involved (won't be pretty, but might get your money back)?

    You could also take it through the small claims court free of charge, but to be honest I think any action you take risks further damaging your relationship with your brother (not blaming you in the slightest, as it's clear that he's the guilty party, but family feuds are never good!).
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    Sounds like a total tool. I'd stop being nice about it and tell him that you NEED the money back because you're getting into debt due to him and you've been more than reasonable. Are your parents in a position to mediate? I know my mother would absolutely murder my siblings and force them to pay me back if I were in a similar position...
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    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    Sounds like a total tool. I'd stop being nice about it and tell him that you NEED the money back because you're getting into debt due to him and you've been more than reasonable. Are your parents in a position to mediate? I know my mother would absolutely murder my siblings and force them to pay me back if I were in a similar position...
    My parents just walk around him on egg shells because he has such a temper (he is a ****). He owes them money too.

    (Original post by superwolf)
    Could you try talking to his wife, and see if she's more reasonable? Or get other family members involved (won't be pretty, but might get your money back)?

    You could also take it through the small claims court free of charge, but to be honest I think any action you take risks further damaging your relationship with your brother (not blaming you in the slightest, as it's clear that he's the guilty party, but family feuds are never good!).
    I dont want to ignore her, because it doesn't really involve her. Well I guess it does, he did have a very big wedding, and she did want a lot of things. He owes other family members money too, but I'm the only one wanting it back because I need it.

    And I could never do that, I come from a very culturally family orientated background and involving the law would probably get me disowned.
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    Disown him.
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    I'd go and ask him in the most reasonable way possible, then shout him into submission, then try and make him see it's his fault
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    That really sucks There must be some small part of him that feels guilty about it. I don't have any advice but I hope you manage to get it back soon.
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    Your brother values his holiday over your Masters. He doesn't care about you, sorry dude but you have to come down hard on him.
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    (Original post by germanium)
    My parents just walk around him on egg shells because he has such a temper (he is a ****). He owes them money too.
    And you still felt like lending him £3000 was in any way a good idea ... why, exactly?!
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    (Original post by germanium)
    I lent my brother £3000 for his wedding (April 2014) and he has only paid back £100. I've requested so many times, and he says he doesn't have any money. Then I see on his wife's facebook that they're going Gran Canaria in June. What else can I do? I ask him all the time, atleast pay me back in monthly installments. He just becomes all aloof and sometimes even ignores me.

    I'm at Uni doing my Masters and am -£45 in my £1500 overdraft.
    This is why whenever I lend to family now I always get them to write me a cheque for the amount six months into the future. That way if they end up refusing to pay you can just cash it in.

    I think you should take him to court, that way he will get his arse in gear and suddenly the money will magically appear.

    Alternatively, you could borrow it off other family members because you need it and then it is their problem.

    I also agree that screaming, shouting and smashing things is a good technique to get someone to pay attention and realise you are serious. Do not be nice about it - go nuts at him. I don't have an anger problem at all but I've found putting this on as an act works wonders.

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    push it, if he does not cough up the money try legal, if that does not work cut all contact with him immediately.
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    (Original post by will2348)
    This is why whenever I lend to family now I always get them to write me a cheque for the amount six months into the future. That way if they end up refusing to pay you can just cash it in.

    I think you should take him to court, that way he will get his arse in gear and suddenly the money will magically appear.

    Alternatively, you could borrow it off other family members because you need it and then it is their problem.

    I also agree that screaming, shouting and smashing things is a good technique to get someone to pay attention and realise you are serious. Do not be nice about it - go nuts at him. I don't have an anger problem at all but I've found putting this on as an act works wonders.

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    Going to try that, feel really depressed every time I think about it. I've been working since the age of 13. He was always eating off my parents, JSA and odd jobs until he got married and had to get a proper job. Because no good woman would marry him if he didn't. Now he goes, he has bills to pay etc. But he doesn't get is that we always had bills, the twtjob only started paying them now.

    (Original post by IanDangerously)
    And you still felt like lending him £3000 was in any way a good idea ... why, exactly?!


    He borrowed it from everyone for his wedding.

    (Original post by GorlimtheUnhappy)
    Your brother values his holiday over your Masters. He doesn't care about you, sorry dude but you have to come down hard on him.
    I paid for his honeymoon he really doesn't. I only gave him the money because last time he borrowed money from one of those stupid sites like Wonga and he was in so much debt. So I said I'll lend it to you and you wont have any interest etc..

    (Original post by Per)
    That really sucks There must be some small part of him that feels guilty about it. I don't have any advice but I hope you manage to get it back soon.
    Thanks

    (Original post by Gott)
    I'd go and ask him in the most reasonable way possible, then shout him into submission, then try and make him see it's his fault
    I'm just too nice and I honestly cant lose my temper. No matter how hard I try. And I am kinda scared of him.
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    You have to get serious with him. Don't be scared. This is YOUR life, YOUR money, money YOU earned working hard. You have to stop putting people ahead of YOU and lookout for YOURSELF.
 
 
 
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