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I wish she'd just tell me to leave her alone watch

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    Hi all,

    Ive been talking to a great girl from uni over facebook (only option, never asked her number before the semester ended and she lives abroad outside of term time). She always seems to respond pretty warmly and never with short or one word answers, but she takes days to reply, and she's active in between times, adding photos etc. If you read the conversation in itself, I can't see anything that would suggest she doesn't actually want to talk to me, but when I am doing something and my phone buzzes two or three days after sending the message I can't say I'm all that excited about replying - I'll just get the same thing next time, and I don't want to reply straight away because of all of the classic petty reasons. I think she's the sort of person that would do this to avoid the issue of telling me to go away, but I'd rather she did that. I can't understand why she'd go to the trouble of replying days after she gets the message either - surely an excuse that she's busy would be easier for her to get rid of me?

    cheers ladies and gents
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    Awesome!
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    All been there. Even a 9 like me.

    Just lay off her. She won't ever flip out and tell you to go away. You just need to be the one to slow it down. But you like her, so that won't happen and you'll cling on and ultimately waste your time.
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    I've wasted enough time already, which is why I've posted here to be honest. Do you think it's possible that I've been too slow on the uptake? I'm ashamed to say it's taken me about three months to get to this point which is tragic. Perhaps just acting on how i feel when I'm back at uni would be best, then I get a definite rejection (or otherwise) and that's that?
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    (Original post by Bubzeh)
    All been there. Even a 9 like me.

    Just lay off her. She won't ever flip out and tell you to go away. You just need to be the one to slow it down. But you like her, so that won't happen and you'll cling on and ultimately waste your time.
    Haha! Nailed it.
    There is absolutely no way in the world you will ever, ever get her. There is also no way in the world that you will ever listen to people telling you to leave her alone.
    BUT PLEASE BELIEVE ME, STOP CHASING HER NOW BECAUSE YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON YOUR BEHAVIOUR AND CRINGE!
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    Nah don't listen to them, go for it. Its all part of life! You learn from these things. There is no harm in trying.

    If you've never failed, you've never lived.
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    I guess if it bothered you that much you could just be straight with her and ask her what she thinks of you and whether she wants you to leave her alone? But only do that if you really do need the answer. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you were nice about it and not too blunt, and it'll answer your question.
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    (Original post by Mathers96)
    Hi all,

    Ive been talking to a great girl from uni over facebook (only option, never asked her number before the semester ended and she lives abroad outside of term time). She always seems to respond pretty warmly and never with short or one word answers, but she takes days to reply, and she's active in between times, adding photos etc. If you read the conversation in itself, I can't see anything that would suggest she doesn't actually want to talk to me, but when I am doing something and my phone buzzes two or three days after sending the message I can't say I'm all that excited about replying - I'll just get the same thing next time, and I don't want to reply straight away because of all of the classic petty reasons. I think she's the sort of person that would do this to avoid the issue of telling me to go away, but I'd rather she did that. I can't understand why she'd go to the trouble of replying days after she gets the message either - surely an excuse that she's busy would be easier for her to get rid of me?

    cheers ladies and gents
    Awesome!
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    Bear in mind also that there may be personal reasons or responsibilities that she won't necessarily advertise on face book that takes up her time, even if her timeline seems active. That's just a public persona.

    There are some people that live, sleep and eat with their phone, there are people who don't. Expecting instant responses are only going to get you down hearted, as will over thinking the what ifs.

    I note that you mention she lives abroad outside of term time. Let's say she does like you, have you thought about what happens after graduation?
    How do you see the relationship across the miles?
    I'm not suggesting for a minute that long distance relationships don't work.
 
 
 
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