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How far is too far to go for a tinder date? watch

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    Hey guys/girls.

    I've been talking to a girl on tinder for the past few days and have got her number. She seems fairly into me, given a) the fact we matched, b) the fact she initiated the conversation, and c) the fact that she gave me her number when I asked. I think she's quite attractive, and we have a fair amount in common - musically, cynically, artistically (wow that sounds pretentious) ect ect...

    I'm fairly sure if I asked out for drinks she'd say yes. The only issue is distance - I set my radius to 30 miles, but I don't drive, she lives somewhere not on the train network, and a bus would take 1hr 40 minutes to get to her town. If I was a guy inundated with girls wanting to date me, this would be a no brainer, but I've been pretty unsuccessful on that front throughout my life - I guess this is what you'd call my first proper date, so to turn the opportunity down purely because of distance seems a little anti-climatic.

    What are you're thoughts everyone?
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    Is there a town/city midway between you which is on the train network or more easily accessible by bus? If so I would suggest to her going for a drink and seeing how it goes. The distant/lack of easy travel to where she lives isn't ideal, but it's a problem to worry about if it seems like there's potential between you both. I'd meet her first, see how it goes, and worry about the logistical aspect later.
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    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    Is there a town/city midway between you which is on the train network or more easily accessible by bus? If so I would suggest to her going for a drink and seeing how it goes. The distant/lack of easy travel to where she lives isn't ideal, but it's a problem to worry about if it seems like there's potential between you both. I'd meet her first, see how it goes, and worry about the logistical aspect later.
    Thanks for the reply. Its an odd one geographically. We're only 28 miles or so apart, but she's in a pretty small town thats not on the motorway/train network. Theres nothing major in between us, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't drive, so I think even if there was something halfway between us it would just cause both of us as much trouble.

    Would it come off as desperate to be willing to travel that far?
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    For the first date, I would suggest meeting her in a city halfway between hers and yours. Then if you really click you could both start making an effort.
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    If you're not drowning in right-swipes, might as well go for it - but you're nuts if you don't reduce your discovery radius.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    If you're not drowning in right-swipes, might as well go for it - but you're nuts if you don't reduce your discovery radius.
    Cheers man. The problem is the thing works in a circle. Theres a huge city 25 miles away packed with students, and its like a 15 minute train journey away. So I set my radius big enough to cover the outskirts of that.
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    (Original post by catsis)
    For the first date, I would suggest meeting her in a city halfway between hers and yours. Then if you really click you could both start making an effort.
    Theres nothing but farmland between my city and her town.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cheers man. The problem is the thing works in a circle. Theres a huge city 25 miles away packed with students, and its like a 15 minute train journey away. So I set my radius big enough to cover the outskirts of that.
    I suppose it doesn't really make much difference then. Go to her with a contingency plan - see if you can find something to do in that town in case she no-shows.

    Depends what you're using it for really. If you just want to hook up, it's not a bad idea. If you're looking for a girlfriend - it's doomed due to the logistics of the situation.
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    If you like her go forth!
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    I live in a capital city so I wouldn't travel outside the city for a date. The way I see it is that I live in the most convenient area so if she lives outside the capital then the onus is on her to travel. I would do it if I was the one living outside the capital.

    Hell, that's why anyone lives in the capital right? So they don't have to travel.
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    Who dares wins. Hopefully..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys/girls.

    I've been talking to a girl on tinder for the past few days and have got her number. She seems fairly into me, given a) the fact we matched, b) the fact she initiated the conversation, and c) the fact that she gave me her number when I asked. I think she's quite attractive, and we have a fair amount in common - musically, cynically, artistically (wow that sounds pretentious) ect ect...

    I'm fairly sure if I asked out for drinks she'd say yes. The only issue is distance - I set my radius to 30 miles, but I don't drive, she lives somewhere not on the train network, and a bus would take 1hr 40 minutes to get to her town. If I was a guy inundated with girls wanting to date me, this would be a no brainer, but I've been pretty unsuccessful on that front throughout my life - I guess this is what you'd call my first proper date, so to turn the opportunity down purely because of distance seems a little anti-climatic.

    What are you're thoughts everyone?
    Why don't you skype date first? Tbh skype is just as awkward as meeting irl so it'd give you a good indication if whether you should bother to meet up.
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    (Original post by ellakrystina)
    Why don't you skype date first? Tbh skype is just as awkward as meeting irl so it'd give you a good indication if whether you should bother to meet up.
    Skype strikes me as slightly more awkward. If I go for a drink with someone I can pretend they're my lifetime friend and just act normally. If I'm on skype (which I never am) it would feel like a telephone interview. That and the fact that I think theres something to be said for talking to someone IRL - I mean, what does skype do that text doesn't?

    Cheers for the suggestion anyway, I'll bare it in mind.
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    I live in a capital city so I wouldn't travel outside the city for a date. The way I see it is that I live in the most convenient area so if she lives outside the capital then the onus is on her to travel. I would do it if I was the one living outside the capital.

    Hell, that's why anyone lives in the capital right? So they don't have to travel.
    I'm not sure it would be right to play the "you're from a more obscure area than me so you should come here card" given that it would be me suggesting the meetup in the first place.
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    First of all you have not asked her yet. If you do, no doubt the subject of where will come up, it will be difficult to meet up without having a set place to meet up.

    Who said it has to be at her end? What it has to be, is her choice, why? It’s just easier that way. So what you have to do is steer her into choosing a location near you. What’s at her end? Probably nothing – they don’t even have trains.

    Where do you want to go? Pub? Restaurant? Shopping mall? Ice skating? Ballooning? Find one nearer your end (but make sure she choose it).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure it would be right to play the "you're from a more obscure area than me so you should come here card" given that it would be me suggesting the meetup in the first place.
    Well I'd just be like let's meet at X (area in my city) and if she says no then I wouldn't bother. I've seldom had girls object to that tbh.
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    You'd be surprised how far people are willing to travel to meet people they are interested in!

    I spent an hour on the motorway to get to my first date with my boyfriend, and he drove for two and a half hours to me for the second date (the distance was the same, but he got lost... )

    If you ask and she says no, then all that happens is you don't get a date. If you don't ask, then you have the same outcome, but without even giving her the chance to accept.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys/girls.

    I've been talking to a girl on tinder for the past few days and have got her number. She seems fairly into me, given a) the fact we matched, b) the fact she initiated the conversation, and c) the fact that she gave me her number when I asked. I think she's quite attractive, and we have a fair amount in common - musically, cynically, artistically (wow that sounds pretentious) ect ect...

    I'm fairly sure if I asked out for drinks she'd say yes. The only issue is distance - I set my radius to 30 miles, but I don't drive, she lives somewhere not on the train network, and a bus would take 1hr 40 minutes to get to her town. If I was a guy inundated with girls wanting to date me, this would be a no brainer, but I've been pretty unsuccessful on that front throughout my life - I guess this is what you'd call my first proper date, so to turn the opportunity down purely because of distance seems a little anti-climatic.

    What are you're thoughts everyone?
    If I was using anything like that I'd draw the line at a short bus ride or reasonable walking distance.

    That said I'm in a long-distance relationship now, so what I've said is pretty moot :lol:
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    Train as close as you can and then bus from there.
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    Anything over 5 miles.

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