Friend doesn't want to get married yet

Is it alright in this day and age to force your kid to marry someone they barely know? I don't think it is but thats exactly what my best friend's parents are planning to do according to him. I really think I should do something but he's lied to me about stuff before and although I think he's being honest this time (his family are pretty full on orthodox muslim) I daren't say anything because it could proper upset his family and my reltionship with him. I'm thinking of going to someone at school and doing it anomynously so they'll investigate but I reckon he'd know it was me who said something. What should I do for the best?

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well unfortunatly i got a feeling (might be wrong, so someone correct me if i am) but if thats their culture then i guess the person concerned will have no choice but to marry whoever their family decides.

Reply 2

Talya

16

There are charities to protect people from this now.

Reply 3

username47781

20

Talya

There are charities to protect people from this now.

Well in that case it's gotta be worth a shot, talk to someone about it.

Reply 4

Princess_Peach

I think it may be unlawful under the Human Rights Act.

Reply 5

la fille danse

17

Of course they can't force him to marry anyone, unless they hold a gun to his head...

He may just have to choose between his family and bachelordom.

Reply 6

person 34

9

Perhaps there are lots of legal things about it, but in the muslim culture, everything is about respect. It doesn't matter what the law says, it what their culture and religion says. It can only be his decision and it's likely his parents would disown him if he went against them in this situation. He will be quite trapped and confused about his loyalties most likely. To be honest, I sometimes find aspects of this culture ridiculos. However, there does seem to be a shift in our generation compared to our parents generation, which is causing more problems, but leaning more into the Western society which isn't surprising.

Reply 7

swirl

Anonymous

Is it alright in this day and age to force your kid to marry someone they barely know? I don't think it is but thats exactly what my best friend's parents are planning to do according to him. I really think I should do something but he's lied to me about stuff before and although I think he's being honest this time (his family are pretty full on orthodox muslim) I daren't say anything because it could proper upset his family and my reltionship with him. I'm thinking of going to someone at school and doing it anomynously so they'll investigate but I reckon he'd know it was me who said something. What should I do for the best?

Arranged marriages have nothing to do with Islam. You're confusing it with culture.

Reply 8

andy_cole2

14

peopel get killed over stuff like this. It can get really dangerous dependant on how strict the family are. it gets in the papers ever now and then about girls especially avoiding arranged marriages just be careful don't get out of your depth remember its a whole families heritage and culture which your fighting against.

Reply 9

Schmokie Dragon

17

Keep out of this. He has to fight his own battle. There is no harm in letting someone know about this, ANONYMOUSLY!! but do not, FFS, let anyone know it is you doing it. Things can get nasty in these kinds of situations.

Friend doesn't want to get married yet

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