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Really like this guy, but education coming in the way?

Ok, so I really am starting to like my mate at uni, I met him about a month ago, and we spend quite a lot of time together considering he is in the year above! The other day we went out, and he always puts his arm around me, and gave me his jacket cos I was cold, and little things like that make me *think* he likes me, and everyone else is saying he does as well.
But we had this conversation, and he said he likes 'someone' at uni, but he doesn't want to get into a r'ship cos he would be a **** boyfriend cos he is so focused on his studies!! Do you think he was hinting that to me? cos he didn't tell me who this 'someone' was!

I can understand his studies are more important, but I REALLY am starting to like him, but I know he doesn't want a r'ship...what should I do?
I don't wana get over him, cos I actually like him. Arghhhh why does this have to happen! :frown:

Reply 1

Chewwy

17

talk to him. tell him you like him, and that you won't be a demanding girlfriend. see if he'll give it a try.

Reply 2

Angelil

19

He might have just been saying that as a hint, to try and gauge your reaction, without actually meaning it?

I'd say go for it, you've got nothing to lose - you won't lose his friendship if you approach it in the right way.

Reply 3

Ghetto_Princess12

I think you should tell him if you leave it up to him then the situation will just go on for forever. Just go for it you never know he might actually feel the same xxx

Reply 4

Zafda

8

you should agree with him, that focusing on education is more important than having a relationship.
but do tell him, that many people who really like each other will sacrifice time and stuff for education, eg you won't expect to be sat on his knee while he's revising lol.
just give him that peace of mind that you see where he's coming from but the girl may be willing to give him that study freedom, and then he may come to his senses?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Zafda

you should agree with him, that focusing on education is more important than having a relationship.
but do tell him, that many people who really like each other will sacrifice time and stuff for education, eg you won't expect to be sat on his knee while he's revising lol.
just give him that peace of mind that you see where he's coming from but the girl may be willing to give him that study freedom, and then he may come to his senses?

that's actually a good idea, and I do actually agree with him, except when he told me I didn't really think to say anything, cos I was :frown:

. Well I don't exactly know how to bring it up again though?

Reply 6

Zafda

8

hmm.
lol when things like that happen to me and i'm a bit startled, you forget how you feel for a second, and then afterwards its like poo why didn't i say anything!?

well don't bring it up. don't do it intentionally anyway. take everyday as it comes because although he said his education is important, im sure if he spends more time with you (surely its early days to jump into a full on relationship?) something will develop. just let nature takes its time.

he will most probably bring it up again, or one of his friends will, or even you may jokingly bring it up.. i can't predict or advise you when and what to say, i suppose it'll just happen.

don't worry about it! you have nothing to worry about, if anything you have an amazing friendship developing.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Angelil

He might have just been saying that as a hint, to try and gauge your reaction, without actually meaning it?

I'd say go for it, you've got nothing to lose - you won't lose his friendship if you approach it in the right way.

I can't tell him :frown:

I am just that kinda person, I can hint it to him, but I will be wayyyyy to shy to tell him properly, in case he doesn't feel the same way.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Zafda

hmm.
lol when things like that happen to me and i'm a bit startled, you forget how you feel for a second, and then afterwards its like poo why didn't i say anything!?

well don't bring it up. don't do it intentionally anyway. take everyday as it comes because although he said his education is important, im sure if he spends more time with you (surely its early days to jump into a full on relationship?) something will develop. just let nature takes its time.

he will most probably bring it up again, or one of his friends will, or even you may jokingly bring it up.. i can't predict or advise you when and what to say, i suppose it'll just happen.

don't worry about it! you have nothing to worry about, if anything you have an amazing friendship developing.

Thanks

No, I don't want to get into a relationship straight away either (I've been single for almost 3 years! so I'm suprised I actually like him, cos it takes me a while to like someone). I think I'll leave it for now..and just take each day as it comes like you said. Even if we are close friends..thats enough for me, cos I just enjoy being with him.

Reply 9

Zafda

8

yep.
its ironic how my situation is a lot like yours, just the excuse isn't education.
if its meant to be it is, if not there'll be other opportunities.

Reply 10

Eternity Forever

12

You need to get your priorities right. :biggrin:

Reply 11

username47781

20

Anonymous

I can't tell him :frown:

I am just that kinda person, I can hint it to him, but I will be wayyyyy to shy to tell him properly, in case he doesn't feel the same way.

YOu have to talk to him though, it's the only way to find out whether he does like you or not, because you will not know otherwise, what you got to lose?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Hey,
thought i'd update you guys, I haven't talked to him for a bit, but he txt today, and then i txt back, but didn't get another reply. He doesn't seem interested :frown:

and I am starting to like him more. I called him last (couple days ago) and he said he will call me but txt instead. so I think i'm gona play hard to get? cos this is doing my head in!

Reply 13

mc solaar

I know a girl who is doing Exactly the same thing to me LOL

Reply 14

anjurdsg

11

chewwy

talk to him. tell him you like him, and that you won't be a demanding girlfriend. see if he'll give it a try.

:dito:

sooooo true!! :biggrin:

Reply 15

username47781

20

Anonymous

Hey,
thought i'd update you guys, I haven't talked to him for a bit, but he txt today, and then i txt back, but didn't get another reply. He doesn't seem interested :frown:

and I am starting to like him more. I called him last (couple days ago) and he said he will call me but txt instead. so I think i'm gona play hard to get? cos this is doing my head in!

Do not play hard to get because then he will look elsewhere, at the same time don't bombard him but you have to talk to him it's the only way to find out.

Reply 16

toffee2

1

He sounds like he probably does like you but he wants you to do all the running to make things easier for him. Try cooling off with him for just a day or two and ill bet he'll be calling texting you etc all the time.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

toffee2

He sounds like he probably does like you but he wants you to do all the running to make things easier for him. Try cooling off with him for just a day or two and ill bet he'll be calling texting you etc all the time.

Hmm I hope so, I remember him telling me once though, he doesn't like doing all the work (i.e chasing), but neither do I!! Seems like I'm the one who has been showing interest more than him, so let me leave it a few days..see if he makes an effort.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

he called me today!!..to ask whether I was going out tonight (cos he was going to be there) but I wasn't, it was only a brief conversation.

It's killing me that I don't know whether he likes me or not!

Reply 19

tiger_vio

11

Anonymous

Do you think he was hinting that to me? cos he didn't tell me who this 'someone' was!

I think he was hinting to you, but I get the impression he's using education maybe as an excuse. Maybe theres a different reason..

Really like this guy, but education coming in the way?

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