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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm turning 26 soon and I still haven't had sex. I've never been in a long term relationship before. Don't get me wrong.. I've done more than kissing and have been close to having sex, its just never happened.

    I meet guys and many of them can sense I'm still a Virgin. I've found that some guys can't handle it, since they are used to being with other girls that are more experienced than I am. I've had guys say that they are 'affectionate' and need someone who matches up. So far its happened three times in the last 3 years.

    I've never felt any pressure to do anything or felt the need to do it for the sake of it to prove anything to any of the guys I used to see. I just let them go and moved on. I believe I will meet someone I am comfortable with that will be patient.

    The same thing is happening again though. I met a guy, he guessed I'm still a Virgin. I'm slowly finding out he is kind of affectionate, which I like however for some reason things are moving so slow. I know it's down to me to be honest, in my head I've probably slept with him a good 100 times but when I'm in his presence in freeze. I feel like the same thing is going to happen since he's already mentioned not feeling the love (I often act distant). I know it's affection that is missing its a normal human need you could say and the guys before weren't necessarily wrong for wanting it.

    What i'm trying to say is that I feel like I'm in a limbo. I've been a Virgin for so long I'm used to it, I stay guarded, I have my little tendencies people pick up on and the more I feel people are thinking im frigid the more I act frigid.

    I think about every aspect and worry xyz will happen which means I don't relax and never take risks. I made improvement with the guy before like I would be touchy feely and I initate kisses but with this new guy I'm so nervous.

    When people ask if it bothers me of course I love through my teeth. It annoys the crap Out of me. Just wanted to vent I guess
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    Dude, What the hell happened?
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    P.S. do you want to lose it or are you not that bothered really?
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    Ah man, I know that feeling!

    I used to feel like that with my first boyfriend and eventually he broke up with me because I didn't put out. You know... I think that he just isn't the right guy. I remember talking to my friend about this and she said she doesn't think that there is ever a time when people feel totally ready to do it.

    But I felt like it didn't feel right to do it.

    Don't force it, seriously. I let him force me to give and receive oral and I regret it. I enjoyed it but I wished I saved that for the special person that it is to come.
    • #2
    #2

    I lost my virginity like a week and a half ago and I'm 22. The thing I'd honestly recommend before doing anything sexual is experimenting with sex toys. I bought a few (along with lube) and using a dildo that's life-sized means you can slowly stretch yourself out. As a result my first time was almost completely painless and instead just really good fun. Obviously if you're someone that regards your virginity as precious or you WANT the experience of a guy being the first to enter you, then ignore my recommendation. But I just wanted sex to be pleasurable and not have to worry about wincing my way through the whole thing.

    You're highly unlikely to be a virgin forever - I know when people get to 21+ it's a question that goes through everyone's mind, but it is really, really unlikely. Being a virgin at a slightly older age can make you feel a tad out of the loop with friends, but losing your virginity is highly unlikely to change you much as a person. I understand why people feel the pressure to lose it -- I'm ashamed to admit I've lied about it in the past to fit in - but once you've done it you'll wonder why you ever worried about it. Sex just becomes another part of life (a nice one, but it doesn't define your worth in any way whatsoever.)
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    (Original post by catsis)
    Ah man, I know that feeling!

    I used to feel like that with my first boyfriend and eventually he broke up with me because I didn't put out. You know... I think that he just isn't the right guy. I remember talking to my friend about this and she said she doesn't think that there is ever a time when people feel totally ready to do it.

    But I felt like it didn't feel right to do it.

    Don't force it, seriously. I let him force me to give and receive oral and I regret it. I enjoyed it but I wished I saved that for the special person that it is to come.
    What if they never come though? Like people have said to you, you never feel fully committed to doing it as such; there will always be reservations.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lionheart96)
    P.S. do you want to lose it or are you not that bothered really?
    I'm bothered. I'm getting old, I think about it alot. I worry in a way too like will I find someone in the end. I don't want it to be anybody but I like this guy alot, I liked these guys before alot and it took forever to relax/be affectionate etc
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm turning 26 soon and I still haven't had sex. I've never been in a long term relationship before. Don't get me wrong.. I've done more than kissing and have been close to having sex, its just never happened.

    I meet guys and many of them can sense I'm still a Virgin. I've found that some guys can't handle it, since they are used to being with other girls that are more experienced than I am. I've had guys say that they are 'affectionate' and need someone who matches up. So far its happened three times in the last 3 years.

    I've never felt any pressure to do anything or felt the need to do it for the sake of it to prove anything to any of the guys I used to see. I just let them go and moved on. I believe I will meet someone I am comfortable with that will be patient.

    The same thing is happening again though. I met a guy, he guessed I'm still a Virgin. I'm slowly finding out he is kind of affectionate, which I like however for some reason things are moving so slow. I know it's down to me to be honest, in my head I've probably slept with him a good 100 times but when I'm in his presence in freeze. I feel like the same thing is going to happen since he's already mentioned not feeling the love (I often act distant). I know it's affection that is missing its a normal human need you could say and the guys before weren't necessarily wrong for wanting it.

    What i'm trying to say is that I feel like I'm in a limbo. I've been a Virgin for so long I'm used to it, I stay guarded, I have my little tendencies people pick up on and the more I feel people are thinking im frigid the more I act frigid.

    I think about every aspect and worry xyz will happen which means I don't relax and never take risks. I made improvement with the guy before like I would be touchy feely and I initate kisses but with this new guy I'm so nervous.

    When people ask if it bothers me of course I love through my teeth. It annoys the crap Out of me. Just wanted to vent I guess
    Report
    I know just how you feel as a guy who just turned 25 and is still a virgin. I also know exactly what you mean about freezing, I did that even with my first kiss, made things rather awkward. I've had fewer opportunities to lose it though I think.

    It bothers me too, but I'm not going to force it with the first woman that will have me. It'll happen some time. I (and you) just need to find someone that will be patient, guide me when needed and reassure me (even if lying through their teeth), so as to help lose it and then get better techniques.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by catsis)
    Ah man, I know that feeling!

    I used to feel like that with my first boyfriend and eventually he broke up with me because I didn't put out. You know... I think that he just isn't the right guy. I remember talking to my friend about this and she said she doesn't think that there is ever a time when people feel totally ready to do it.

    But I felt like it didn't feel right to do it.

    Don't force it, seriously. I let him force me to give and receive oral and I regret it. I enjoyed it but I wished I saved that for the special person that it is to come.
    Ahh that sucks. With my first boyfriend I didn't feel pressured, we spent alot of time together, I felt comfortable after a short while then when things turned physical l he asked if I wanted to have sex. I asked if he had protection, he said no and I would have done it cos at the time I felt ready. We broke up shortly afterwards. Then I didn't meet anyone I liked until 3 years later, he initiated activities and I declined cos it didn't feel right. my friend said I should of let him' play with me' (cringe) but that wasn't happening.

    In the terms of the guys that followed we never really got to that stage due to my shyness and not being comfortable etc. I doubt I'd ever force anything, I know what i'm like. I think I'm just worried I'll never find someone I'm that comfortable with...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm bothered. I'm getting old, I think about it alot. I worry in a way too like will I find someone in the end. I don't want it to be anybody but I like this guy alot, I liked these guys before alot and it took forever to relax/be affectionate etc
    couldn't you just sleep with someone to get it out of the way if its bothering you so much?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lionheart96)
    couldn't you just sleep with someone to get it out of the way if its bothering you so much?
    I could but like I said I don't want it to be anybody.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    What if they never come though? Like people have said to you, you never feel fully committed to doing it as such; there will always be reservations.
    That doesn't bother me. I'm waiting for marriage now.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ahh that sucks. With my first boyfriend I didn't feel pressured, we spent alot of time together, I felt comfortable after a short while then when things turned physical l he asked if I wanted to have sex. I asked if he had protection, he said no and I would have done it cos at the time I felt ready. We broke up shortly afterwards. Then I didn't meet anyone I liked until 3 years later, he initiated activities and I declined cos it didn't feel right. my friend said I should of let him' play with me' (cringe) but that wasn't happening.

    In the terms of the guys that followed we never really got to that stage due to my shyness and not being comfortable etc. I doubt I'd ever force anything, I know what i'm like. I think I'm just worried I'll never find someone I'm that comfortable with...
    Ah fair. I think it's worth to wait. You never know who you might meet.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm turning 26 soon and I still haven't had sex. I've never been in a long term relationship before. Don't get me wrong.. I've done more than kissing and have been close to having sex, its just never happened.

    I meet guys and many of them can sense I'm still a Virgin. I've found that some guys can't handle it, since they are used to being with other girls that are more experienced than I am. I've had guys say that they are 'affectionate' and need someone who matches up. So far its happened three times in the last 3 years.

    I've never felt any pressure to do anything or felt the need to do it for the sake of it to prove anything to any of the guys I used to see. I just let them go and moved on. I believe I will meet someone I am comfortable with that will be patient.

    The same thing is happening again though. I met a guy, he guessed I'm still a Virgin. I'm slowly finding out he is kind of affectionate, which I like however for some reason things are moving so slow. I know it's down to me to be honest, in my head I've probably slept with him a good 100 times but when I'm in his presence in freeze. I feel like the same thing is going to happen since he's already mentioned not feeling the love (I often act distant). I know it's affection that is missing its a normal human need you could say and the guys before weren't necessarily wrong for wanting it.

    What i'm trying to say is that I feel like I'm in a limbo. I've been a Virgin for so long I'm used to it, I stay guarded, I have my little tendencies people pick up on and the more I feel people are thinking im frigid the more I act frigid.

    I think about every aspect and worry xyz will happen which means I don't relax and never take risks. I made improvement with the guy before like I would be touchy feely and I initate kisses but with this new guy I'm so nervous.

    When people ask if it bothers me of course I love through my teeth. It annoys the crap Out of me. Just wanted to vent I guess
    Report
    It's only the fact that you're a virgin that's preventing you from ceasing to be one. Just let things happen when they happen.
 
 
 
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