I've been seeing a guy from online dating. We connected well from messages and I looked forward to meeting him. But when I met him, I didn't feel an in-person chemistry although I enjoyed our first date.
So I agreed to another which we had yesterday. At the end of the date, he made a motion to kiss me which I was not expecting. Anyway it somehow feel like there was no spark when we kissed - I sort of pulled away quickly. I feel really badly about this but I was only reacting naturally :/
He text me saying he definitely wanted to see me again but I gave it some thought and realised I didn't feel the same way. I didn't want to lead him on as I didn't think it was fair on him.
We had a chat on the phone about it later and I realised that some of the assumptions I'd made about him were wrong - I sort of warmed to him a lot more hearing compliments he was telling me which he didn't give me on the date and I just felt more emotion and heart from him. In the end, I just felt more emotionally connected to him during that phone call then during the two dates. We also managed to have better conversation which didn't have awkward silences. I realised then that he was more into me than I thought but I hadn't felt that on he was on the dates (wish I hadn't jumped to conclusions).
Anyway, we still agreed to see each other every so often in a completely platonic way. I don't know where to go from here. I don't think he felt head over heels for me - he said he thought there was definitely potential though. I'm feeling some doubt from my decision but I know this is not strong enough to act on as of yet. I just found it weird that we connected better in a phone call than our in person dates.
I know I have to stand by my decision. But do you think I did the right thing by opting out now? Should I have given it another date?
Giving things a chance... Watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-01-2015 02:55
- 27-01-2015 14:39
Wow I feel like you just wrote down my own experience. I went on a date a couple months ago and didn't feel the spark. We spoke on the phone and we would talk non-stop, from day one we seemed to bounce off each other. However on the date I was very quiet and the vibe didn't seem right.
So i thought I'd leave it there, but there was something about him I was drawn to. I decided to give it another ago and this time around I was more attracted to him. The conversation flowed and it was just like our phone conversations. Then I gradually felt more attracted to Him.
Honestly if you don't feel it, don't force it. There is no harm in testing the waters one last time to be sure. I know for myself it takes me a little while before I can say 'you know what I like this dude.' sometimes these things happen And there are more fishes in the sea if it doesn't work outLast edited by phunky_fresh; 27-01-2015 at 14:41.
- 27-01-2015 14:43
You did the right thing, never settle.
You will find someone you do make a spark with and you'll be very grateful that you moved a long. Don't feel bad, he will find someone too
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- TSR Support Team
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- 27-01-2015 16:49
You've tried twice, which I think, for me at least, is enough. If you'd said "I tried once and decided that was enough", I would have suggested giving it another go.
It's better for both of you that you said something now, rather than leading him on and thinking there was something there - not nice for both of you.
I've been in the same situation, although I kinda knew that I didn't want to date him from the start. He was too clingy and controlling for my liking.Last edited by Tiger Rag; 27-01-2015 at 16:50.
- 27-01-2015 16:57
Lol, two desperate people over-analysing a typical situation. Get over it, there's nothing there. Why you felt the need to make a thread about it is beyond me.
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