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Not interested anymore?
It's been about 3 weeks since we first met. We hit off instantly I think. At first she was so into me, I mean she was literally after me. I didnt even want to know her at that point.
It all started during an all year uni party when I went in just to have some fun. She was sitting with about two guys in the corner of the room. I didnt even pay her any attention but after awhile she looked at me and smiled and told me to sit down next to her and she told one of the guys on the side to give me some space. I was like 'okay, I'll sit down' So she started talking to me like I was the only person in the whole club. I remained indifferent, saying the occasional sentence or deep comment.
After that we moved to another club. (I've always been interested in this girl by the way but I've never expressed it). This time I was the one who told her to sit down with me and we had a couple of drinks, Then she was leaving so I came out with her and said goodbye. Nothing happened.
I've been trying to get closer and closer to her after that. (I'm really really into her now) I've been sitting next to her during lectures and talking to her before and after some. I just feel like she's moving away from me rather than toward after I showed her I was interested in her (unlike before).
A few days ago she invited me over to her flat to study. After studying she sat really close to me and started fiddling with her hair and was generally giving me the 'i'm cute' look. This time I tried the indifferent thing again (which she likes I think) so I did that. I just sort of kept the book in my hands and gave HER the occasional glance (to indicate that I was listening to her) and I felt such a strong level of attraction. I was actually talking to her like she was my best friend at this point, no holds barred. At the end we kissed and then I left really really late (6AM or so) we were just talking till then, her basically sitting on my lap.
The next day we were together for a couple of hours, sitting on a bench talking but this day I just felt like she was so far away. It was all small talk completely the opposite of the other day. I just couldnt connect with her that way again. We walked for about an hour talking and I was trying to be touchie feely with her (to keep the relationship flowing) but I dont think she liked that much. At the end she was leaving for some other place for the weekend so I kind of hugged her and said have fun and stuff but that didnt really connect either.. I just felt like I had been robbed by the end of the night and that feeling still hasnt left.
Today she was on MSN but she wasnt talking much at all. When I asked her something I got a two line reply which wasnt really probing or inviting conversation which wasnt really great. She's really happy where she is now (She's meeting an old friend).. After an hour or so of this small talk she just suddenly left without even saying goodbye..
My question after all this is that is she not interested in me anymore? I'm sure i'm doing something wrong. That night at her apartment I felt like I was doing every single thing right and we connected at every available oppurtunity. After that I felt the complete opposite. If she is starting to drift away is there any way I could get her back? I'm actually almost in love with this girl.. So please could I have some detailed answers on this? (I'll rep you; worth quite abit for your troubles) Thanks!
It all started during an all year uni party when I went in just to have some fun. She was sitting with about two guys in the corner of the room. I didnt even pay her any attention but after awhile she looked at me and smiled and told me to sit down next to her and she told one of the guys on the side to give me some space. I was like 'okay, I'll sit down' So she started talking to me like I was the only person in the whole club. I remained indifferent, saying the occasional sentence or deep comment.
After that we moved to another club. (I've always been interested in this girl by the way but I've never expressed it). This time I was the one who told her to sit down with me and we had a couple of drinks, Then she was leaving so I came out with her and said goodbye. Nothing happened.
I've been trying to get closer and closer to her after that. (I'm really really into her now) I've been sitting next to her during lectures and talking to her before and after some. I just feel like she's moving away from me rather than toward after I showed her I was interested in her (unlike before).
A few days ago she invited me over to her flat to study. After studying she sat really close to me and started fiddling with her hair and was generally giving me the 'i'm cute' look. This time I tried the indifferent thing again (which she likes I think) so I did that. I just sort of kept the book in my hands and gave HER the occasional glance (to indicate that I was listening to her) and I felt such a strong level of attraction. I was actually talking to her like she was my best friend at this point, no holds barred. At the end we kissed and then I left really really late (6AM or so) we were just talking till then, her basically sitting on my lap.
The next day we were together for a couple of hours, sitting on a bench talking but this day I just felt like she was so far away. It was all small talk completely the opposite of the other day. I just couldnt connect with her that way again. We walked for about an hour talking and I was trying to be touchie feely with her (to keep the relationship flowing) but I dont think she liked that much. At the end she was leaving for some other place for the weekend so I kind of hugged her and said have fun and stuff but that didnt really connect either.. I just felt like I had been robbed by the end of the night and that feeling still hasnt left.
Today she was on MSN but she wasnt talking much at all. When I asked her something I got a two line reply which wasnt really probing or inviting conversation which wasnt really great. She's really happy where she is now (She's meeting an old friend).. After an hour or so of this small talk she just suddenly left without even saying goodbye..
My question after all this is that is she not interested in me anymore? I'm sure i'm doing something wrong. That night at her apartment I felt like I was doing every single thing right and we connected at every available oppurtunity. After that I felt the complete opposite. If she is starting to drift away is there any way I could get her back? I'm actually almost in love with this girl.. So please could I have some detailed answers on this? (I'll rep you; worth quite abit for your troubles) Thanks!
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Well might be best to ask her or maybe invite her out for a drink, lets face it you've only known her what a few weeks.
Reply 2
I'm afraid only she will be able to tell you!
Ask her!
Sorry i can't be much help!
Ask her!
Sorry i can't be much help!
Reply 3
If I ask her it'll just create tension and that'll probably guarantee her moving away completely.. I'm not ready for that and I'll completely break down. 
Reply 4
Well how are you to know otherwise.
Reply 5
Isnt there some other way I could find out? and also, I know she's still interested in me but I think she's losing interest after every time we're together. It's definitely something I'm not doing right. do you think I should ignore her for awhile? Or could you tell me what to do now? That's exactly what I want to know right now, 'What should I do'. Thanks.
Reply 6
Why not just ask her out for a drink, not rocket science.
Reply 7
Keep on trying, you maybe able to break her like she broke you!
Try out small like going to the cinemas (you dont have to talk through a film and when you come out you can talk about the film-easy enough).
Perhaps shes playin hard to get and you just need to keep interested!
Good things come to those who wait, you have only known her for three weeks and maybe she doesnt want to rush in to anything just yet (uni has only just started-sorta lol).
Just dont give up yet, im sure she will eventually come around!
What have you tried so far?
Try out small like going to the cinemas (you dont have to talk through a film and when you come out you can talk about the film-easy enough).
Perhaps shes playin hard to get and you just need to keep interested!
Good things come to those who wait, you have only known her for three weeks and maybe she doesnt want to rush in to anything just yet (uni has only just started-sorta lol).
Just dont give up yet, im sure she will eventually come around!
What have you tried so far?
Reply 8
Because she's away for the weekend. I dont want her to make up her mind during it. She still texts me from there now and then but when I text her back I dont get much of a reply. The same with MSN, She just isnt responding properly and it's driving me nuts.
Reply 9
Maybe underneath she's a shy girl.
Reply 10
Anonymous
Because she's away for the weekend. I dont want her to make up her mind during it. She still texts me from there now and then but when I text her back I dont get much of a reply. The same with MSN, She just isnt responding properly and it's driving me nuts.
If you're constantly texting and talking to her on msn maybe she feels like you are getting a little to clingy, and she may not be ready for anything like that just yet.
She doesnt sound shy, because as you said she invited you over to sit down and talk when she was at that bar or party. Dont text her for a couple of days and see if she makes the effort with you, if not just leave it a couple of days to let her get her head around things. But like I said start off small, dont start rushing her in to things. Just suggest if she wants to go see a film and let her decide what to see and give her options so you dont seem too direct and forceful (not saying you are but you dont want to give off the wrong impression as it will scare her away and you dont want to do that).
It doesnt sound as if you are doing anything wrong, but just take things slow.
Reply 11
Claire_Elizabeth
If you're constantly texting and talking to her on msn maybe she feels like you are getting a little to clingy, and she may not be ready for anything like that just yet.
She doesnt sound shy, because as you said she invited you over to sit down and talk when she was at that bar or party. Dont text her for a couple of days and see if she makes the effort with you, if not just leave it a couple of days to let her get her head around things. But like I said start off small, dont start rushing her in to things. Just suggest if she wants to go see a film and let her decide what to see and give her options so you dont seem too direct and forceful (not saying you are but you dont want to give off the wrong impression as it will scare her away and you dont want to do that).
It doesnt sound as if you are doing anything wrong, but just take things slow.
She doesnt sound shy, because as you said she invited you over to sit down and talk when she was at that bar or party. Dont text her for a couple of days and see if she makes the effort with you, if not just leave it a couple of days to let her get her head around things. But like I said start off small, dont start rushing her in to things. Just suggest if she wants to go see a film and let her decide what to see and give her options so you dont seem too direct and forceful (not saying you are but you dont want to give off the wrong impression as it will scare her away and you dont want to do that).
It doesnt sound as if you are doing anything wrong, but just take things slow.
Hey thanks, That's pretty good advice.. I agree about the clingy bit. I think I've been going overboard with the texts and everything else. The only reason I do that is because I want to talk to her, I want her to respond (In a positive way of course). The only thing which I thought I went really overboard with was the touchie-feelie thing on the day before she left. I just kept on doing it which is a big no-no but it's like I cant help it. She's not very shy and she's been quite open with me (Sometimes, on occasion). When she's in the mood and I am aswell we connect very very well. That's basically everything I've tried with her. The only notable things we've done together is: Talk on a bench for about.. 5 hours at a stretch. Gone for a coffee, Met at some parties and I think the biggest of them all was the apartment thing where we kissed. After this the distant thing kicked in. I'm sure it's due to me being too clingy but how do I express my undying love for her without doing that
??Reply 12
Anonymous
Hey thanks, That's pretty good advice.. I agree about the clingy bit. I think I've been going overboard with the texts and everything else. The only reason I do that is because I want to talk to her, I want her to respond (In a positive way of course). The only thing which I thought I went really overboard with was the touchie-feelie thing on the day before she left. I just kept on doing it which is a big no-no but it's like I cant help it. She's not very shy and she's been quite open with me (Sometimes, on occasion). When she's in the mood and I am aswell we connect very very well. That's basically everything I've tried with her. The only notable things we've done together is: Talk on a bench for about.. 5 hours at a stretch. Gone for a coffee, Met at some parties and I think the biggest of them all was the apartment thing where we kissed. After this the distant thing kicked in. I'm sure it's due to me being too clingy but how do I express my undying love for her without doing that ??
??Well it sounds as if she is interested or else why would she have kissed you? Why did she sit on a bench with you for 5 hours talking?
But perhaps she doesnt feel the EXACT same way about you just yet. You say you "love her" but she may not be there yet. I guess the saying distance makes the heart grow fonder has worked here on you! Maybe you need to do the same to her? Just take things slow and back it up a little, if you are texting her all the time then she wont be able to see how much she likes you because you're constantly trying to get in touch, if you dont get in touch she will start thinking "why isnt he texting me?" "Have I done something wrong"? and then she will start to get in touch with you.
Just dont get paranoid thinking you are doing something wrong, wait till she comes back to uni (dont ask to meet up with her straight away, wait a day and text her saying something like "Did you have a nice weekend? Got anything planned for the rest of the week?" if you do that you seem interested but not clingy).
Girls dont like it when boys get too clingy at such and early stage, it can push them away. But we do like it when you make the effort every so often.
I do recommend the cinema thing because then you dont have to worry about making convo and have something to talk about after it finishes.
Reply 13
i know a girl like this, she comes across as really really sweet and she makes every guy she talks to (flirts with) feel "special". but she's a very insecure person, who pretends that she's interested long enough to get a guy interested, then drops him like a stone because she knows than now he wants her. she did it to my friend, then he had left where we were out to go home, but come back because he had forgotten something. the girl was all over another guy. i think maybe this makes her feel better about herself, and she is reassuring herself she is attractive. dont take it too hard if it does turn out to be something like this, because it will be this girl's attitude and not something you have done which has caused her personality to change.
of course i hope it isnt this, and i hope that she is really nice and realises what she could be missing out on if she doesnt make her feelings clear!
good luck and all the best with this girl!
xXx
of course i hope it isnt this, and i hope that she is really nice and realises what she could be missing out on if she doesnt make her feelings clear!
good luck and all the best with this girl!
xXx
Reply 14
Ooh thanks both of you. I'll rep you both when I can do so. Anyhow, She's probably the most original people I've ever met. She wouldnt do anything to harm anyone (I have my reasons to believe this) and that's what makes me wonder why all this is going on.. I'm really in love with her, honestly. Solely because I've never met anyone like her before and I dont think I ever will so I'm really cautious with this one. If I were myself I'd probably txt her once a day and never more and generally be indifferent towards her (Like I was in the start..) but when I look at things too deeply i tend to change and thats whats caused this. So, Next time I see her (which will be monday morning before a lecture) should I go up to talk to her or just ignore her?
Reply 15
I'm kind of ignoring her on MSN as we speak, but she's not replying either. Oh well. She's good at this whole hard to get thing.
Reply 16
Anonymous
I'm kind of ignoring her on MSN as we speak, but she's not replying either. Oh well. She's good at this whole hard to get thing.
Put your status as "Away" so it seems as if you're not there and you dont have to worry about whether or not she will answer or not!
Just dont worry if she doesnt reply, lol its not the end of the world!
Reply 17
Yeah but it just hurts me deep inside when I'm not talking to her right now.. It's like I have to almost.. but I'm not doing it and It's not like I dont want to talk to her! I'm dying to so I'm just waiting for a reply
and It's not like I dont want to talk to her! I'm dying to so I'm just waiting for a replyReply 18
Anonymous
Yeah but it just hurts me deep inside when I'm not talking to her right now.. It's like I have to almost.. but I'm not doing it and It's not like I dont want to talk to her! I'm dying to so I'm just waiting for a reply
and It's not like I dont want to talk to her! I'm dying to so I'm just waiting for a replyAww sweety *cuddles* lol. You need to occupy yourself whilst you're on the comp because if you are just sat there looking at the screen waiting for your msn thing to start flashing, then time is going to drag alot!
Go make some lunch or something, kill some time and dont worry!
Chin up!Reply 19
I know it's really hard, because it happens...but generally it just happens in your head and no where else. There have been so many times i've thought the same thing as you, but the next time we have a talk it goes right back to where it was, and then eventually i find out they were like that because they were really tired, or because they were just thinking about everything. Don't give up on this, just because it didn't go well that one time. And msn, can't ever ever count because its SO difficult to know how people are saying something, or that they are even paying you their full attention, they might be talking to someone there and so giving you short replies! Never take her not saying much on msn or not talking to you, as anything. Definitly continue to talk to her, but perhaps not text her so much (though i dont know how much you do normally) and try not to be touchy feely with her, unless she begins to initiate it. ALSO, don't jump on her when she comes back...just maybe one text asking if she had a good time etc. And i know what you mean about replies!! I was making sure i didnt text this person yesterday because i thought 'i want to see if they want to make the effort' but it was SO hard and it hurt when they didn't text me. But the first thing they said to me on msn after hello, was so no text today then? lol so they noticed...which is good enough. But anyway...goodluck, and don't take everything to heart straight away, really think about the possibilities.
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