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    So, my girlfriend and I are 18 and 19 respectively, and have been together for around a year now.

    Yesterday she invited me to meet her in a restaurant for some food, and we planned to head back to hers to watch a movie after. So I met her at around 5pm, I turn up and her friend (who dislikes me, with no real reason) is sitting there. My girlfriend explained to me that her friend had just been dumped and needed someone to be there, which is fair enough I guess. So anyway, time passes and then this other guy turns up (also doesn't really like me, something to do with an incident in school when I was in year 8 and he was in year 10) out of the blue. My girlfriend is friends with these people so even though I'm annoyed that our plans have been scrapped and I'm forced to sit with people who I'm well aware do not want me there.

    Then, all night my girlfriend ignores me.. She spends the next 3 hours laughing and joking with this other guy, who she knows I don't get on with. Barely looks at me for the next 3 hours, and I'm forced to sit there because we had planned to go to hers for a movie after. I'm not the jealous/controlling type of guy, not by a long way.. I just got extremely frustrated at the fact that I was forced to sit with people who we all know don't like me, and I had basically nobody to talk to, it was awkward as ****..

    Spending 3 hours so much as not getting a glance from my girlfriend while she's constantly smiling/laughing/joking with this other guy.

    Also she made sure that he sat next to her, something about us being sat across from eachother being easier, idk.

    I guess I'm just annoyed that the night before I had dinner at her Dad's and she spent the whole 2 hours calling me a pushover and blaming me for her constant swearing, whilst I had to sit there and pretty much take it (I ended up telling her toward the end of the meal) because I want her dad to respect me and get on with me.



    qwghjm
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    I don't think you're overreacting pal. Jealous or not, what she did was quite insulting and borderline disrespectful. You should talk to her and ask her if she knew what she was doing and how it made you feel.
    Also, grow a back bone and stand up for yourself, her dad is probably testing you, he wants a strong figure for his daughter that he knows will look after her.
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    (Original post by C_tinie_D)
    I don't think you're overreacting pal. Jealous or not, what she did was quite insulting and borderline disrespectful. You should talk to her and ask her if she knew what she was doing and how it made you feel.
    Also, grow a back bone and stand up for yourself, her dad is probably testing you, he wants a strong figure for his daughter that he knows will look after her.
    I did end up saying something, I asked her point blank why she was making me look back when the things she's saying aren't true. Her dad looked kinda shocked that I did it, so I'm not really sure how that went down.
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    I mean bad*, not sure how to edit my post it's been so long haha.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did end up saying something, I asked her point blank why she was making me look back when the things she's saying aren't true. Her dad looked kinda shocked that I did it, so I'm not really sure how that went down.
    What did she say? I hope it wasn't anything short of an apology lol. All you can do now is put it behind you and move on, plan something to do with her this week and make sure nothing comes between it, if it does, then show you're not going to stand for it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my girlfriend and I are 18 and 19 respectively, and have been together for around a year now.

    Yesterday she invited me to meet her in a restaurant for some food, and we planned to head back to hers to watch a movie after. So I met her at around 5pm, I turn up and her friend (who dislikes me, with no real reason) is sitting there. My girlfriend explained to me that her friend had just been dumped and needed someone to be there, which is fair enough I guess. So anyway, time passes and then this other guy turns up (also doesn't really like me, something to do with an incident in school when I was in year 8 and he was in year 10) out of the blue. My girlfriend is friends with these people so even though I'm annoyed that our plans have been scrapped and I'm forced to sit with people who I'm well aware do not want me there.

    Then, all night my girlfriend ignores me.. She spends the next 3 hours laughing and joking with this other guy, who she knows I don't get on with. Barely looks at me for the next 3 hours, and I'm forced to sit there because we had planned to go to hers for a movie after. I'm not the jealous/controlling type of guy, not by a long way.. I just got extremely frustrated at the fact that I was forced to sit with people who we all know don't like me, and I had basically nobody to talk to, it was awkward as ****..

    Spending 3 hours so much as not getting a glance from my girlfriend while she's constantly smiling/laughing/joking with this other guy.

    Also she made sure that he sat next to her, something about us being sat across from eachother being easier, idk.

    I guess I'm just annoyed that the night before I had dinner at her Dad's and she spent the whole 2 hours calling me a pushover and blaming me for her constant swearing, whilst I had to sit there and pretty much take it (I ended up telling her toward the end of the meal) because I want her dad to respect me and get on with me.



    qwghjm
    I can understand how she wants to be with her friends in time of need- but I guess the ignoring you part is rather weird and insensitive. Was it as bad as it seems though?

    I guess it doesnt help either that you were peeved off with her beforehand due to the meal. I think you just have to accept that you'll be in awkward scenarios with people that aren't particularly fond of you- have you asked her why she ignored you for all that time?
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    Naaaah mate, what you feel is totally natural.
    However, what she is doing is not in the character (do you get me?). She planned the dinner and the movie, then invites people who clearly dont like you and then totally ignores you. If I were you, I would leave the movie night (not leave as in leave, leave as in go home and meet her the next day or whenever you want). She just ruined the "date" by talking to the other guy.

    Also, if that's not the case then I think she is testing you that how much would you get jealous. Like C_tinie_D (I hope I spelled that correct) said: Grow a back bone.

    Thirdly, the dinner with her dad. Dont worry too much about it. Parents, especially fathers, dont grow on boys - who date their daughter - easily. So I would say have another dinner or spend time with him. He needs tough assurance that his daughter will be safe.

    Have a chat with her or something and be honest. PLUS if there's an argument, dont worry about it; they make relationships stronger.

    GOOD LUCK! *big thumbs up*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my girlfriend and I are 18 and 19 respectively, and have been together for around a year now.

    Yesterday she invited me to meet her in a restaurant for some food, and we planned to head back to hers to watch a movie after. So I met her at around 5pm, I turn up and her friend (who dislikes me, with no real reason) is sitting there. My girlfriend explained to me that her friend had just been dumped and needed someone to be there, which is fair enough I guess. So anyway, time passes and then this other guy turns up (also doesn't really like me, something to do with an incident in school when I was in year 8 and he was in year 10) out of the blue. My girlfriend is friends with these people so even though I'm annoyed that our plans have been scrapped and I'm forced to sit with people who I'm well aware do not want me there.

    Then, all night my girlfriend ignores me.. She spends the next 3 hours laughing and joking with this other guy, who she knows I don't get on with. Barely looks at me for the next 3 hours, and I'm forced to sit there because we had planned to go to hers for a movie after. I'm not the jealous/controlling type of guy, not by a long way.. I just got extremely frustrated at the fact that I was forced to sit with people who we all know don't like me, and I had basically nobody to talk to, it was awkward as ****..

    Spending 3 hours so much as not getting a glance from my girlfriend while she's constantly smiling/laughing/joking with this other guy.

    Also she made sure that he sat next to her, something about us being sat across from eachother being easier, idk.

    I guess I'm just annoyed that the night before I had dinner at her Dad's and she spent the whole 2 hours calling me a pushover and blaming me for her constant swearing, whilst I had to sit there and pretty much take it (I ended up telling her toward the end of the meal) because I want her dad to respect me and get on with me.



    qwghjm
    Reading this and then reading the way in which she behaved towards you with one of her parents just screams of disrespect to me. I would not have been happy in the slightest had this happened to me. I am sure you were probably looking forward to spending time with her and having a nice evening.

    I think you need to let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable regarding belittling you in front of your parents, and in the case of the friends thing, make sure that she realises that she was just flat out rude. I know I would do the same
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    Thanks for the help guys, I appreciate it!

    Also, while we're on topic, what should I think of this?

    There's this guy (let's call him Tom). I've met him a few times at house parties etc. but never really got to know him. My girlfriend also knows him, but separate to how I know him. She used to 'meet up' with him in the past, but it never amounted to anything. He's made it clear he finds her physically attractive (he told my girlfriend's friend) and my girlfriend obviously knows this. She randomly brings him up from time to time, even when it's totally irrelevant.

    So the other day, he walked past us (I didn't realise) and she said he looked at me in a disrespectful way. She made it clear that it was rude of him and proceeded to call him 'weird' and 'creepy'. Then, the next day he adds her on snapchat, and she accepts him.. but she said if he sends her a snapchat, she won't reply. So why would she add him? and should I feel a bit disrespected that she's being nice to a guy who she's not friends with (they only met a few times, a couple of years ago) and is (in her words) being disrespectful to me?
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    I know it might seem like I'm looking into things too much, but it's frustrating for me because I never used to be like this (before I got together with her), but a similar thing happened before (talking about a guy a lot, even when totally irrelevant) and it turned out that she was meeting up with him and admitted she had feelings for him, albeit minor ones, whilst she was still with me.

    I know she never cheated (that I know of) but she lied to my face over 10 times about it, and I only got the truth once I made it clear I knew everything already (a friend of the guy she was meeting told me/showed me messages etc.)
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    Shes effed mate
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it might seem like I'm looking into things too much, but it's frustrating for me because I never used to be like this (before I got together with her), but a similar thing happened before (talking about a guy a lot, even when totally irrelevant) and it turned out that she was meeting up with him and admitted she had feelings for him, albeit minor ones, whilst she was still with me.

    I know she never cheated (that I know of) but she lied to my face over 10 times about it, and I only got the truth once I made it clear I knew everything already (a friend of the guy she was meeting told me/showed me messages etc.)
    I work in a field where I have learnt to analyse thousands of peoples behaviours and motivations in an offending capacity. A lot of what I have learnt has helped me translate everyday behaviour too. This is pretty clear cut to read:

    You are not in the wrong in this and her behaviour is unacceptable if it is as you described. She is well aware that she is in control in the relationship and that you are passive to the point that you will take it - at that age its all about gratification more than anything and power and control.

    She ignores you, talking to this other guy at the meal knowing you don't like it - it's to further cement her control over you in a passive-aggressive way: if you bring this up no doubt she will say you are making it a big deal, being too sensitive or in the wrong (thats the thing about being passive/aggressive, its difficult to pin down) and you will think its yourself thats out of order.

    You are her safe base for her to explore from, she will treat you badly knowing you will always take her back for it.

    Its ultimately emotional abuse aimed at wearing you down so she can do as she pleases. There is no respect there.

    My advice is to be the one that ends this as this girl is not mature enough for you by the sounds of it. No one that truely cares for the other person would act like she doesourely out of respect for their partner, she doesn't obviously respect you but likes to have someone that will put up with her. Get out as I promise you it will get worse.

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    (Original post by Mephestic)
    I work in a field where I have learnt to analyse thousands of peoples behaviours and motivations in an offending capacity. A lot of what I have learnt has helped me translate everyday behaviour too. This is pretty clear cut to read:

    You are not in the wrong in this and her behaviour is unacceptable if it is as you described. She is well aware that she is in control in the relationship and that you are passive to the point that you will take it - at that age its all about gratification more than anything and power and control.

    She ignores you, talking to this other guy at the meal knowing you don't like it - it's to further cement her control over you in a passive-aggressive way: if you bring this up no doubt she will say you are making it a big deal, being too sensitive or in the wrong (thats the thing about being passive/aggressive, its difficult to pin down) and you will think its yourself thats out of order.

    You are her safe base for her to explore from, she will treat you badly knowing you will always take her back for it.

    Its ultimately emotional abuse aimed at wearing you down so she can do as she pleases. There is no respect there.

    My advice is to be the one that ends this as this girl is not mature enough for you by the sounds of it. No one that truely cares for the other person would act like she doesourely out of respect for their partner, she doesn't obviously respect you but likes to have someone that will put up with her. Get out as I promise you it will get worse.

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    (Original post by 3309will)
    Reading this and then reading the way in which she behaved towards you with one of her parents just screams of disrespect to me. I would not have been happy in the slightest had this happened to me. I am sure you were probably looking forward to spending time with her and having a nice evening.

    I think you need to let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable regarding belittling you in front of your parents, and in the case of the friends thing, make sure that she realises that she was just flat out rude. I know I would do the same




    Typical female response. If the shoe were on the other foot in this case, a male belittling his girlfriend in front of his parents and then ignoring her throughout a meal at which people she didn't like were present, the boyfriend would have absolute hell to pay.
    Oh, for goodness sake. You have no idea what my response would be, so quit the sexist generalisations.

    My response would be exactly the same- gender doesn't come into it.
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    Totally Natural
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the help guys, I appreciate it!

    Also, while we're on topic, what should I think of this?

    There's this guy (let's call him Tom). I've met him a few times at house parties etc. but never really got to know him. My girlfriend also knows him, but separate to how I know him. She used to 'meet up' with him in the past, but it never amounted to anything. He's made it clear he finds her physically attractive (he told my girlfriend's friend) and my girlfriend obviously knows this. She randomly brings him up from time to time, even when it's totally irrelevant.

    So the other day, he walked past us (I didn't realise) and she said he looked at me in a disrespectful way. She made it clear that it was rude of him and proceeded to call him 'weird' and 'creepy'. Then, the next day he adds her on snapchat, and she accepts him.. but she said if he sends her a snapchat, she won't reply. So why would she add him? and should I feel a bit disrespected that she's being nice to a guy who she's not friends with (they only met a few times, a couple of years ago) and is (in her words) being disrespectful to me?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it might seem like I'm looking into things too much, but it's frustrating for me because I never used to be like this (before I got together with her), but a similar thing happened before (talking about a guy a lot, even when totally irrelevant) and it turned out that she was meeting up with him and admitted she had feelings for him, albeit minor ones, whilst she was still with me.

    I know she never cheated (that I know of) but she lied to my face over 10 times about it, and I only got the truth once I made it clear I knew everything already (a friend of the guy she was meeting told me/showed me messages etc.)
    Well tbh you may be over thinking things slightly here. Yea there doesn't seem much point in her accepting him on snapchat so if it is bothering you just ask her to delete him as it makes you uncomfortable and she isn't friends with him anyway.

    Who's the guy she's had minor feelings for in the past? "Tom"?
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    Been there, seen it. You're not overreacting. You're a doormat, you're being treated like dirt. Why are you even in this relationship. The only reason I can think of is that she's really pretty and you're very desperate and can't believe that a girl wants to be with you and you'll stay with her no matter how badly she treats you. It's a horrible situation to be in. Are you even happy in this relationship? You need to stand up for yourself, you really need to take a stand. What you should have done was left that situation, you shouldn't have sat with those people. She's right, you're a pushover one hundred percent. She's wiping the floor with you mate. Either do something about it and risk making her angry, or continue being her doormat and letting her wipe her manky shoes all over you. Up to you.

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    Am I the only one who would have walked out after an hour or two after her friends had turned up?
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    Am I the only one who would have walked out after an hour or two after her friends had turned up?
    I would have walked out after 20 minutes.

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    I don't think you're over reacting. When you're in a relationship, time should be split between your bf/bf, friends and family. Yeah, her mate just got dumped and perhaps she would favour spending more time with her than you, but that's fair enough. But I don't understand why she was paying more attention to the other guy than you. I think you should have a word with her because it's not on. I feel like you're being walked over. She doesn't come across as the nicest person. You deserve better. Someone who actually wants to spend time with you and doesn't treat yo like crap
 
 
 
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