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Is it weird that I only see a relatinship as a chore and can't enjoy them? Watch

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    Everyone wants to stigmatise singledom and make me out to be tragic.
    I think it's pointless and their is an anxiety about relationships with contraception that never result in a child. I dislike contraception and don't really know what the point of all these contraceptive relationships I'm supposed to be having is.
    I mean, I have my own place, I like doing things the way I want. I'd have to share, women bring their own issues plus she'd either want a child-would uproot my life with responsibilty I don't want. Or we'd use condoms, but there may be a mistake, I may get tempted, or she may end up really wanting one like most women do, plus they bring all their own issues to it.

    Overall, it only comes down to having a relationship for some company when my parents aren't around, and fending off people being pitying/patronising about singledom or loneliness. So I could do with it, but I don'tl ike sharing much, I need time alone and I don't want a kid.

    What is my problem and what should I do? Can you help me tease out the crux of this issue?

    Anon 'cos it is personal.
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    Nothing wrong with it. My partner was like that until his mid 30's lol he was like it even when I initially became his gf! It's only as he's got older his wants/needs changed.
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    (Original post by SnooFnoo)
    Nothing wrong with it. My partner was like that until his mid 30's lol he was like it even when I initially became his gf! It's only as he's got older his wants/needs changed.
    Yeah, I think it's more just other peoples perceptions and what they put on to it, messing with my own clarity on the issue.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I think it's more just other peoples perceptions and what they put on to it, messing with my own clarity on the issue.
    Ignore it. It's your life. If you give into pressure you'll do something you regret eg get married
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    Plus my place isn't very big, and even if it was it would just uproot everything. And with my mindset I'd find it very difficult to just sustain it on contraception and not either bend to her wishes, or even mine, because it seems so unnatural after a long while even moreso. And again, it just seems like a directionless, pointless diversion. I'd rather just enjoy being single, set myself up financially, then have a child with someone I really want. I mean, people make out you've missed on out everything, I'd say, no I was happy being alone and then i'd be happy with a kid, and isn't that better than someone who spent years using contraception and then can't have a kid? (I know a few of these)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Everyone wants to stigmatise singledom and make me out to be tragic.
    I think it's pointless and their is an anxiety about relationships with contraception that never result in a child. I dislike contraception and don't really know what the point of all these contraceptive relationships I'm supposed to be having is.
    I mean, I have my own place, I like doing things the way I want. I'd have to share, women bring their own issues plus she'd either want a child-would uproot my life with responsibilty I don't want. Or we'd use condoms, but there may be a mistake, I may get tempted, or she may end up really wanting one like most women do, plus they bring all their own issues to it.

    Overall, it only comes down to having a relationship for some company when my parents aren't around, and fending off people being pitying/patronising about singledom or loneliness. So I could do with it, but I don'tl ike sharing much, I need time alone and I don't want a kid.

    What is my problem and what should I do? Can you help me tease out the crux of this issue?

    Anon 'cos it is personal.
    If you don't want a relationship don't have one but don't group all women as one. There are plenty of women who will be just like you. Who want the same things. Not all women want children don't be sexist. There's doesn't have to be issues if you don't want there to be. If you want to start a relationship lay down what exactly you want out of it to the other person. If they aren't happy with it they can walk away then and there. Simples. You're making it out to be complicated like women can't be your friends whilst being also your partner. I am best friends with my partner we don't really have issues cuz we agree on many things and just chill, laugh and have sex.
    Women are no different.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am best friends with my partner we don't really have issues cuz we agree on many things and just chill, laugh and have sex.
    Women are no different.
    I know, I didn't mean to convey sexist things. Maybe I'm underestimating that I can benefit, it will fend off pity/condescension(I know that's shallow but we're all human and it helps). I guess I've always had this thing about it's so weird to unite with someone and then get to the physical yet always stifle the natural type of sex, to always try to block a child, I figure it will result in frustration, existential confusion and sense that I should end it, or we may have the status of being in a couple, but then we can equally be patronized about being childless, if it isn't one thing it's the other. I also like the idea of being much more financially secure before having a kid, you can do it and have enough, but I'd rather do it later and have more. Also, and this features a lot in my mind- rather than having years of contraception with one woman then having a child after all that, I kind of would rather the end the relationship that was years together and contraception, I like the idea of having a child very spontaneously when you have the resources better. Or just waiting til you have more money and seeing how much you like that and what you can do with it, and maybe the want for a child would pass with the things you can do with the money.
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    It's not weird. A relationship is a chore for a man, because men only want sex, unfortunately you have to enter into a relationship with a girl before she'll let you have sex with her regularly. Sex is the only enjoyable part of a relationship, the rest is all boring. You just need a living, breathing female body, not a relationship.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    It's not weird. A relationship is a chore for a man, because men only want sex, unfortunately you have to enter into a relationship with a girl before she'll let you have sex with her regularly. Sex is the only enjoyable part of a relationship, the rest is all boring. You just need a living, breathing female body, not a relationship.

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    Well, it's not even that is boring, it's just it's a bit of a nightmare and hassle that everyone thinks you should have, but I kind of think our purpose is to reproduce and that the idea of just being with someone all the time and using condoms, surpressing nature, just because society thinks i'm weird for being single, is really irritating to me, I just like my own time. Then I do want a woman, but maybe I figure I just want to fob of people being patronising, so I could just be seen with her then go back to enough time alone.
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    It's 'cause you're young -- I feel the same.

    I don't have a problem attracting women, but I just don't want the hassle right now. I'm trying to work my arse off and make a fortune.

    I find it patronising when people say "is that why you're single?" yet a great deal of people I know are either cheating, being cheated on, or just with somebody because they like living in their comfort zones.

    I don't want to sound bitter; I know an albeit small number of couples that are very happy and enhance each other's lives, which is great.

    Just not for me; not yet.
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    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    It's 'cause you're young -- I feel the same.

    I don't have a problem attracting women, but I just don't want the hassle right now. I'm trying to work my arse off and make a fortune.

    I find it patronising when people say "is that why you're single?" yet a great deal of people I know are either cheating, being cheated on, or just with somebody because they like living in their comfort zones.

    I don't want to sound bitter; I know an albeit small number of couples that are very happy and enhance each other's lives, which is great.

    Just not for me; not yet.
    I'm not that young-I'm in my thirties, it's more just that contraception is unnatural, you must want sex for a child on some deep level, and condoms make it ****, plus a relationship is loads of hassle and detracts from your own wishes. If I could find someone with the exact same priorities it would be worth it, but otherwise sod it.
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    You say you don't see the point in contraception but you don't want a child. :confused: Make your mind up because you can't really have both.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    You say you don't see the point in contraception but you don't want a child. :confused: Make your mind up because you can't really have both.
    No what I mean is I would not have a child by being single, and masturbation is my contraception. Basically, sex with condoms is bad, I prefer masturbation, a relationship is hassle and means I have to share and try and live together, I think contraception is unnatural, and the relationship would end up having a kid. I really just believe, however archaic it is to people, in singledom(in which case stop stigmatising it) or natural sex and risking a child.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not that young-I'm in my thirties, it's more just that contraception is unnatural, you must want sex for a child on some deep level, and condoms make it ****, plus a relationship is loads of hassle and detracts from your own wishes. If I could find someone with the exact same priorities it would be worth it, but otherwise sod it.
    That's still young you're just battling the mentality that you should be settled down by then with a brood.

    Just carry on as you are. Some people just don't want certain things in life. You might find someone and everything may change, but until then, I wouldn't look too much into it!
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    OP you weirdo.
    Your sex ed classes clearly failed you. What about things like the pill, the contraceptive ring, iuds and such. If you're committed to someone and you have sex au naturel, you wouldn't need to think about how bad the sex feels using a condom. I wouldn't advise outside of a relationship and without check with the gum clinic beforehand though.

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