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Girlfriend with depression, trying for a baby? watch

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    So in the last month or so, the girlfriend and I have tried for a baby, I've done my business inside of her on 2-4 occasions spreading from a few days after her period ended, to about 2 weeks after it ended, However she does suffer from depression which means her periods are very very late, and also spread out all over the shop, due to that, when would be the best time to do a test? and what are the chances of her conceiving? She's showed no signs of 'pregnancy symptoms' ie sickness etc, so maybe my little wrigglers don't work? lol

    any information would be most obliged! cheers

    how well controlled is her depression? if it's pretty bad at the moment maybe trying for a baby isn't the best idea :/ pregnancy and birth can be distressing and many women suffer from post-natal depression.

    in answer to your question, a month really isn't a long time to be trying for a baby. Id say if you really want to get pregnant, keep having sex without a contraceptive as regularly as you can, and if after a year nothing has happened, then I'd look into seeing a doctor incase theres a problem.

    but I would say have a think about whether pregnancy is a good idea for your girlfriend if she's currently depressed

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    I'm not sure that trying for a baby whilst she has depression is the best idea but it's your choice.

    As far as trying goes, a month is a short time to start being worried, especially if her periods are all over the place. Have you tried an ovulation test? Have a go at one of those and when it's positive, sexsexsex.

    I think you guys really need to have a hard think about this.

    You're assuming that her periods are irregular because she has depression, but its entirely possible that the depression and the irregular periods are a result of some other physical problem. If she's having irregular periods, she should get that checked out and see if there is a physical reason, not just assume that because she has depression that is the cause. It could be that a hormonal imbalance due to PCOS or something else is causing the irregular periods, and the hormone imbalance is also causing the depression.

    As others have said, if she is depressed, is now really the right time to be trying to get pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on the mind and body, there are all these hormones surging through and body changes which could actually make her depression worse. And then you'll have a baby to look after. She'll be at a higher risk of post natal depression if she has untreated depression pre and during pregnancy, so its something to think about.

    As far as fertility goes with irregular periods, as I said, you should really have her go to the doctors to get it checked out, they'll probably do some blood tests and such. There is NO excuse not to do this, if you're planning on getting pregnant, she's going to have to have several doctors appointments, best to make sure her health is the best it can be before she gets pregnant. To know when the best time to try is, ovulation tests or fertility monitors might be a good idea.

    I think you need to have a long hard think and talk about this and get her to the doctors before moving forward though... (assuming she isn't already pregnant)

    Women with "normal" ovulation will ovulate two weeks before the start of their period (so on a 28-day cycle it is right in the middle). In order to conceive there would have to be sperm present when the egg was released, so it's a good idea to have sex every day or so around ovulation (and whenever else you fancy it really; every little helps) to make sure that sperm is present when it is needed.

    Even in perfect conditions, when the egg and sperm are present at the same time, there is only a 30% success rate of conception per cycle - so even when ovulation is timed and the timing of sex is perfect, it's more unlikely than likely that she would become pregnant on each go. Not to mention the huge number of very early pregnancies that are miscarried before you even realised they existed (you'd just have thought it was a late period unless you were testing as early as you could).

    It isn't as easy as you might think - so much so that a GP wouldn't really consider you having "problems" until you've been trying for at least a year. And even then there might be nothing wrong, you may just have been statistically unlucky.

    So my advice would be.. keep having lots of sex and try not to stress out about it.

    Your girlfriend's depression, on the other hand, is what I would be more concerned about. It's none of my business so I won't go too far into it, just remember that pregnancy and childbirth is demanding, stressful and emotional - so it's important that she's on top of any potential mental health issues before she becomes pregnant. Also, I believe that women with a history of depression are more likely to suffer from PND so mention this concern to her doctor if she does become pregnant, and it will be monitored after she gives birth .
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